Welcome to The Evolved Nest!
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Welcome to The Evolved Nest's monthly newsletter!
I hope you will join me this November at the Attachment Parenting International and La Leche League
Rock the World Conference in Nashville, Tennessee. We're using this event as our official launch for The Evolved Nest. If you haven't sent us some feedback, insights or hugs yet, please do so!
Please share the growing resources on The Evolved Nest website and this newsletter with your friends and family. You are always welcome to support our nonprofit work with your
tax-deductible donations.
Thank you for your support!
Darcia Narvaez, PhD
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Darcia enjoying the big picture view atop the Rocky Mountains.
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ELDERHOOD, SELF-ACTUALIZATION AND WISDOM SERIES
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“Wise elders have learned from their scars. They have not been taken over by their wounds, nor have they become obsessed with escaping from the pain of imperfection. They have learned to get in touch with their true selves. All major religions, at their sophisticated (called “mystical”) level, emphasize the importance of personal knowledge of one’s true self, one’s existing connection to God or true reality.”
What did the wise elders of our past know? How did they act?
- They provide an embrace of support to the young, but also a push to not be afraid to self-actualize.
- Elders help the younger grow their unique spirits: “No matter what you do, some people won’t like you, so why not be you? No one else can.”
- Wise elders indirectly guide by modeling living life to the fullest.
- Wise elders know enjoyment and want you to experience it too, whether it’s ice cream, cookies, or a sunset. After all, if you are not experiencing a foundational joy in your life, something is quite wrong (Rohr, 2011).
- Wise elders indirectly guide you in ways of flourishing—with stories.
- Stories help us learn to get back our self when we (inevitably) surrender to others’ preferences instead of those of our inner self. Fairytales are all about finding the true self’s path among competing pressures.
- Wise elders know that words matter. It is easy to discourage the spiritual development of others with words. Stories provide an invitation instead of persuasion or coercion.
- Wise elders encourage us towards love instead of fear, openness instead of bracing against change. They encourage us to work through our fears.
- Wise elders encourage the young to not surrender their life force.
- They know everyone’s path is unique and everyone has a gift to uncover, develop, and share with the community.
- In our ancestral conditions, such as among First Nation/American Indian/Native American groups, wise elders show us how to respect the rest of nature.
- They know the local landscape and how to live sustainably in that landscape
Young children and wise elders seem to more easily slip into this broader reality, which gives one a sense of deep connection with the universe (Maslow’s “peak experience”). They are able to shift away from the materialistic, goal-oriented, calculative existence that our societies emphasize.
That’s probably why so often grandparents and their grandchildren get along so well. They know that one of the deepest forms of joy is being present with one another, playing.
Read the four part series:
- Older and Weaker or Older and Wiser? How Will You Grow Old?
- Wise Elders In The Circle Of Life What can we learn from Indigenous elders?
- Self-Actualization And Becoming A Wise Elder The practices that foster your elderhood development
- What Wise Elders Know We need the encouragement that wise elders offer.
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Discover The Evolved Nest
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The Evolved Nest has been integral to 99% of human genus history and provides a baseline for optimizing normal development. Hewlett & Lamb (2005) provide an overview:
“young children in foraging cultures are nursed frequently; held, touched, or kept near others almost constantly; frequently cared for by individuals other than their mothers (fathers and grandmothers, in particular) though seldom by older siblings; experience prompt responses to their fusses and cries; and enjoy multiage play groups in early childhood.” (p. 15)
Here are more suggestions of what to do and details about the importance of each of these
Components of The Evolved Nest:
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A professor of psychology at Notre Dame, Narvaez is an expert on moral development. Her response was unlike any other. She wasn’t surprised by magnanimity’s disappearance. “It’s because we have so many un-nested people,” she told me. “Your nest, your sense of social support, should last throughout your life. If you don’t have that sense of social support, you wind up downshifting into self-protective mechanisms and mindsets.”
This un-nesting, she continued, begins in early childhood with “families that mistreat or under-care for their children,” a pernicious trend that advanced through the 19th century as a flawed view of parenting emerged. “Some people began to think children become dysregulated because you’re too nice to them,” she said, “but we find the opposite is true.” She and her colleagues observe that un-nested children become anxious adults who lack empathy and openness to others. They rely too much on stress responses, which are useful when real threats are present but not “for everyday life when you’re trying to make a living and get along with your neighbors.”
Find The Evolved Nest in the news in our
press room
. You can also book Darcia for interviews and events on this page.
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Indigenous Wisdom Has Much To Teach Us
- Darcia Narvaez and Four Arrows on the OpEd Blog Radio Show.
A fascinating discussion of how westerners have much to learn from indigenous, Native American and First Nation wisdom. In fact what we have to learn is probably essential to the future sustainability of humanity and the earth.
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Fresh Eyes on the Evolved Nest
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Follow the Fresh Eyes Series to discover how the next generation perceive the Evolved Nest and relates to children, before they become parents...
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Musical Parenting
By
Margaret Harrington
Many people do not understand that a baby’s brain is largely molded by all the interactions and experiences it has in its first few years of life. The small moments a parent has with their children will have tremendous impacts on the way those children understand and react to the world as adults. Sunderlandgives some advice on brain development and how a parent should act around their child in order to set them up for an emotionally healthy life.
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Rock the World Breastfeeding and Parenting Conference
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API is thrilled to announce we are partnering with La Leche League of KY/TN for the
Rock the World: Breastfeeding and Parenting Conference
in Nashville, November 2, 2019! The location will be in the heart of Nashville, near so many family friendly and musical locations. From the Parthenon at Centennial Park to downtown music central, we will have activities for all ages.
The conference will feature Darcia Narvaez, PhD,
Dr. Bill and Martha Sears, Dr. James McKenna, Barbara Nicholson and Lysa Parker , and many other stellar speakers, exhibitors, sponsors, and, of course, a music event! Come meet parents and professionals from all over the world and celebrate API's 25th Anniversary too.
The conference will be a one-day event complemented by an evening event on Friday and a concert on the day of the event. CEUS will be provided.
Find out more about this 25th Anniversary Celebration of Attachment Parenting International
here
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See the full event calendar
here
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Indigenous Sustainable Wisdom
First-Nation Know-How for Global Flourishing
Edited By Darcia Narvaez, Four Arrows (Don Trent Jacobs), Eugene Halton, Brian S Collier and Georges Enderle
Contributors describe ways of being in the world that reflect a worldview that guided humanity for 99% of human history: They describe the practical traditional wisdom that stems from Nature-based relational cultures that were or are guided by this worldview. Such cultures did not cause the kinds of anti-Nature and de-humanizing or inequitable policies and practices that now pervade our world. Far from romanticizing Indigenous histories, Indigenous Sustainable Wisdom offers facts about how human beings, with our potential for good and evil behaviors, can live in relative harmony again. Contributions cover views from anthropology, psychology, sociology, leadership, native science, native history, and native art.
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Where to Find and Share The Evolved Nest
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SOCIAL MEDIA
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here.
CONTACT
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here.
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The Evolved Nest | www.EvolvedNest.org
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