"I never pretended to be someone I was not. If at times I came across as brash, I apologize. I drove myself hard and expected high standards of myself and those on my team. My intentions were always good, though my ways of reaching my goals sometimes failed me." These were the parting words that Dennis shared on his funeral program. As the picture of his car license plate "Life 1" above signifies, Dennis drove himself hard because he wanted the fullness of life for himself and all those around him.
Dennis spent the last months of his life...preparing his family, friends, and strangers (through this newsletter) for death. He hung in there with caring for his nine year old grandson Roman until he couldn't climb the steps from his bedroom. Yes, days before he entered hospice, Dennis was still making breakfast and seeing Roman off to school.
I believe that Father Brian Miclot in his funeral homily captured best the two key pillars of Dennis's life. Father said, "Dennis's life was about compassion and courage." Compassion as reflected in his care of family, friends, patients, those in grief, and human beings from womb to tomb.
Father Brian went on to describe Dennis's courage. He stood up for those whose voice is seldom heard. At a gathering at Father Brian's home last year, Dennis shared with the group that he was abused as a child. Father Brian said he was amazed at the courage it took for Dennis to share that. On this issue and a host of many others, Dennis exercised courage to bring about justice. Throughout his life, Dennis wrote letters to political leaders and newspapers in an effort to make the world a more just place.
I believe, it was out of compassion and courage that Dennis agreed to share the final leg of his journey with us through this newsletter.
As ready as Dennis was for death and meeting his God, he, like most of us, had to deal with relinquishing control at the end. During our last visit, while he was still conscious, we talked about his "letting go." He had done what he could do and now it was time to be at peace.
Two years ago, when I started at St. Anthony's, I knew Dennis as a stately dressed and beautifully accented Lector at the 11:30 a.m. Mass. Today, I have come to know Dennis on so many different levels and the more I know, the more I admire. He planned his last months and his own funeral with his wife Patrice, children, grandchildren, sister, nieces, and nephews in mind. He wanted them to experience the Catholic faith at its best. As his grandson Roman's godfather, I can now feel part of that family. Rest now, dear friend, you showed us all Catholic faith at its very best!
We leave you with Dennis’s words from a talk he once gave...
It is incumbent on us all to keep abreast with these developments and understand where they are leading us. We must then speak our views in every forum available to us. Speak decisively yet with tolerance and love to the other side—for if there is something sadly lacking in today’s world it is just that — LOVE. Love of God and His ultimate creation MAN and WOMAN.
Dennis's daughter Michelle Xuereb gave an absolutely wonderful eulogy at the funeral. I encourage you to
click here
to read it.
