Christine R. is the grandmother of Connor S., current Phase 3 client of the Men’s Program.

“Connor is 20 years old and I became his legal guardian when he was 13 because his mother passed away related to Type 1 diabetes,” explains Christine. “I’ve noticed Connor has had struggles since then and they had only gotten worse.” Christine began to notice Connor struggling in school as he started using marijuana and alcohol around age 15. “He has always struggled in school a little but he became more and more withdrawn. When he turned 18 he was diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes and from there, things went extremely downhill. He gave up on his will to live. He thought since his mother had passed away the same thing would happen to him and he didn’t care about anything.”

Christine was heartbroken to witness this behavior in her grandson. “It was very scary for me. Before he came to Turnbridge, he had four admissions to the ICU at our local hospital related to not taking his diabetes medication. It was a death wish for him. He was passively suicidal. I was so afraid he was going to die.” Christine did whatever she could to try and take care of Connor. “He had been in therapy for five years but just could not connect with his therapist and eventually stopped going. I went and got him court committed for a psychiatric hospitalization because I was so afraid for him.” She ended up enlisting the help of a trusted friend to research treatment options. “We went online and started looking for programs because I knew if I didn’t do something, he was going to die. I called Turnbridge and I asked for help. I knew it would be difficult even getting him there. An interventionist flew to our town and met with me. The next day was the intervention. He got Connor to come to the kitchen and explained everything to him. Within an hour, Connor was in his car and on his way to Turnbridge.”

Despite Connor’s acceptance of treatment, Christine worried if she had made the correct choice. “For me it was extremely difficult because I wasn’t sure if I’d made the right decision. I was afraid that Connor would think that I didn’t want him or that I was abandoning him. He was extremely angry at first. In fact, I had to block the calls because it was so upsetting for me. I didn’t want to cave in and come get him.”

Even without Christine’s help, Connor did leave treatment. “About 2 months in, he left with someone he talked to on Facebook that lived a half hour from where we live. She picked him up and he left with no diabetes supplies.” Soon after, Connor had a change of heart. “He contacted me 24 hours after he left and said he made a mistake. He said he thought he should go back to Turnbridge. The next morning, I met with him, he called his case manager and I drove him back.”

While Christine said it was “rocky for a while,” she has since noticed huge improvements. “He’s now in Phase 3 and has made a lot of progress. It has just gotten better and better. Our relationship has gotten much better. He just called me to see how his day was and that’s never ever happened. I feel much more relaxed and I feel like I can sleep at night. Connor is becoming much more of an adult. He’s finally found a therapist he can connect with. He’s working part time and he’s beginning to take better care of himself. It’s been a great experience.”

Parallel to Connor’s recovery, Christine said she has been going through a recovery of her own. “I go to Lauren [Springer]’s support group and she has been great. Connor’s case managers have helped me learn to set boundaries because initially, I had the feeling I wasn’t doing the right thing. They kept telling me I was doing the best I possibly could for Connor, so trusting what the case managers had to say was big for me. I also go to the Turnbridge support group in Massachusetts which is close to me and that’s been so helpful. I’ve also gotten so much support from Josh the family therapist. I feel totally supported by the Turnbridge staff.”

Christine expressed gratitude for finding Turnbridge because she “did not know there were programs like this. Before retiring I was a psychiatric nurse so I’m aware of mental health and substance abuse issues, but its never affected me personally. Its much different when it’s someone you’re close to. I thought I would lose any relationship I had with him. I did not know a long term place like Turnbridge existed and its given him the opportunity to learn life skills.”

Connor’s life skills are one of the most notable improvements Christine has seen. “He’s more aware of how to take care of himself. He’s learning how to reach out for help- and not to only me. Now, he can relate to staff and peers for help and he can accept it. I think he’s also learned some social skills too.”

Connor is planning on staying in the New Haven area “which I’m ecstatic about,” said Christine.

“I think most parents at the beginning experience the same kind of feelings I did- ‘am I doing the right thing?’. I think it’s worth for people to know; if you get to the step where you feel like you need this program, then listen to all the recommendations because it really does work.”

Bradley E. is a current Phase 3 client at the Men’s Program.

A Louisiana native, Bradley found himself dropped out of high school and kicked out of his parent’s house. “Honestly, I was baffled cause I had always been a really good student. I made all As and Bs in honors classes. But then I got to a point where I didn’t do anything and didn’t see a future for myself.”

Bradley began smoking weed as a Freshman in high school. “One of my friends asked me if I wanted to try it. I eased into it but then, the summer before my Sophomore year, I started smoking every day and never really stopped after that.” Slowly, this new habit began to deteriorate his life. “I’d gone from a private school to a public school and my parents made me play baseball which I didn’t want to do. We had workouts every day and one day, I skipped a workout. [The school] didn’t contact me or my parents, so I found out I could skip school [without consequence].” After this discovery, Bradley began to skip school more and more frequently. “It got way too out of hand very quickly. Once I’d missed 60% of my classes, my parents found out. They flipped out and kicked me out of the house. I had none of my books, no vehicle to get to school. It was my excuse not to go and I dropped out halfway through my senior year.”

During that time, Bradley said he did “absolutely nothing. I didn’t have a job and wasn’t looking for one. I was living on my friend’s couches for 2-3 months until my parents let me back in.” Once being allowed back at his parent’s house, Bradley still found himself directionless. One day, he was woken up at 8am only to find his living room full of loved ones for an intervention. “I was surprised there were that many people concerned about me. I mean I knew my parents were worried but I figured eventually they’d do something. I just didn’t expect an intervention. It was really hard to see everyone crying. There were 15-20 people who all had something to say. I let only two of them talk before agreeing to accept help.”

From there, Bradley got on a plane to Connecticut and arrived at Turnbridge. “I was just really pissed the whole time. I didn’t think I had a problem but I did know I needed help with something because I wasn’t doing anything and I needed to get my life back on track.”

Upon arriving at Phase 1, Bradley remembers being nervous entering a new environment. “It looked like a nice place but I was freaking out having to meet all the new people. I wasn’t sure how they were going to accept me but I did end up getting along really well with a couple guys. One of them is still my best friend today.” Despite forming some friendships, Bradley got off to a rough start. “For the first three months I was just fighting it. I called my parents every day telling them I wanted to leave. Telling them I’d get a friend to pick me up when in reality, I had no contact with anyone who would come get me so that wasn’t happening. I would lie to my parents and tell them people were doing drugs here. I would say anything- I was just trying to get them to be on my side and take me home.”

Eventually, Bradley began to come around and accepted that he needed this help. “I realized I had to be here and in order to get better, I had to stay. I decided to do whatever I was told to do.”

After sticking to his plan to take suggestions and accept help he was offered, Bradley now notices changes in himself. “I definitely look healthier and I can hold down a job. I’d never had a job before and it feels good. I have my car up here now. There’s been a lot of positive changes. My relationship with my family is really good now. My dad and I used to have a terrible relationship but he recently came to visit for about a week and a half. Usually I wouldn’t be able to spend an hour with him but we hung out basically the whole time he was here.”

As for his education, Bradley has plans to start college in the fall. “I finished high school about 6 months ago and I’m going to [Louisiana State University] soon. I want to go for business, maybe end up going to grad school. I don’t know what Ill do with that yet, but now I know I can do pretty much anything.”

For Bradley, his apathy and inactivity were one of his biggest struggles. “Some of my challenges were honesty and just making myself do things. At home, I did absolutely nothing. I wouldn’t show up for anything but now Ill do anything I’m asked. I never miss work and have never been late. Probably the biggest [victory] for me now is showing up for life.”

Bradley has now been able to build a life for himself and create a future to look forward to. “Being able to live on my own is something I didn’t think would happen a year ago. Turnbridge helped me get my life back.”