BUSPH Wellness Newsletter
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November is Self-Compassion Month
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Many of us are incredibly kind, compassionate, loving, and supportive to everyone in our lives, strangers and friends alike. However when it comes to ourselves, we tend to be our own worst critics. More and more
research
is coming out surrounding the physical and mental health benefits of being compassionate towards ourselves.
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Want to engage in wellness activities, yet these times/dates doesn't work for you? Let me know what does!
Sphwell@bu.edu
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What is Self-Compassion, and Why Would We Talk About It?
If you were to slow down the chatter in your mind, you may notice that much of the thoughts that consume you are self-deprecating, negative, and formed around the notion that you are not enough or are not good enough. These repetitive, gloomy thoughts are incredibly adaptive- they protect us from harm, they ensure we don’t get our hopes up too high, we think they help us grow, they allow us to prove ourselves right. An example of this is repeatedly telling yourself that you did awful in a job interview, and you won’t be called back. If this ends up being correct, then you don’t have too far to fall from, since you already expected this. However, what if we talked to ourselves with a little more kindness, a little more love and grace? What if we talked to ourselves the same way as we talked to a good friend? Self-compassion, according to researcher Kristen Neff, “involves treating yourself with the same kindness, concern and support you’d show to a good friend. When faced with difficult life struggles, or confronting personal mistakes, failures, and inadequacies, self-compassion responds with kindness rather than harsh self-judgment, recognizing that imperfection is part of the shared human experience.”
Hard, right? This topic is important for a whole host of reasons. First off, we come into this world by ourselves, we leave by ourselves- we are the longest relationship we will ever have- why not make it a kind, supportive one? Folks who are self-compassionate have
better mental health outcomes, less cortisol, and feel safer in their bodies. These folks also have stronger relationships and serve as better role models for those around them.
Here are some resources and activities for developing self-compassion, and as always please reach out to
sphwell@bu.edu for support.
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Student Question of the Month
I’m having a hard time with setting boundaries with my time. I have friends who want to see me, I feel the need to check social media to make sure I’m not missing anything, I have to keep in touch with my whole family, and my boss keeps asking me to work more hours and I’m scared to disappoint her. Do you have any suggestions?
First off, amazing you realize that all of these things do indeed come down to setting appropriate, kind boundaries. It is easy to prioritize others’ needs and expectations first, especially if you are a people pleaser. However, your needs have to be met first in order to be an effective human being. It’s that cliché statement on an airplane of “you need to put on your own oxygen mask before the person’s next to you.” And that other cliché statement of “you can’t pour from an empty cup.” Here are some suggestions that I hope help:
Know that you don’t have to do everything all at once. Every season of life brings different priorities and areas to focus on. Right now if graduate school is your main focus, know that in a few months or a year this season of life will be over and you can reprioritize your friends, working out, whatever it may be. Say it with me: “I cannot do everything all the time, and I cannot be everything to everyone all the time, and that is okay.”
Have candid conversations. Let folks in your life know that right now things are really busy, and you might not make it to all of your usual commitments this year. Remind these people in your life that you’re still the same person, the friendship is still doing well, you just cannot commit the same amount of time as you once could right now, and this will shift again one day, as all things in life shift.
Have a question for December that you want featured in the newsletter? Email
sphwell@bu.edu
!
I look forward to hearing from you.
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November Journaling Prompts
Every month, you will be provided with journaling prompts to get you started with, in order to reflect on the theme of the month, understand yourself better, and slow down mentally and emotionally.
What are your priorities in life right now? Do these need to shift at all, and if so, how can you do that?
Think of a situation recently where you beat yourself up a lot about. How would you talk to a friend who came to you with the same situation? If you would be much kinder to your friend than to yourself, why is that?
How can I lean into my body’s signals, rather than diet culture and outside noise, to decide what I want to eat?
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Dr. Jessica Chicka, Chaplain has office hours on Med Campus:
Thursdays, 1:00-3:00pm, TLB 211E- go say hi!
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Ilana Schlesinger, Wellness Coordinator has office hours:
Tuesdays, 12:00-2:00pm, TLB 220E- come say hi!
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Body Kindness & Intuitive Eating
We are currently living in a time where diet culture is rampant, thinness is the gold standard and the diet industry is currently worth 73 billion dollars. This industry makes money on us not believing we look good enough as we are, and is rooted in
racism and patriarchy. Everywhere you turn there is the new “best” diet, a “fantastic pill”, or “the ultimate weight loss workout.” This leads to us feeling lost, confused, and disconnected from our own body’s signals, looking to others to tell us what to eat so we can be “good enough,” and potentially stuck in some form of
binge-restrict cycle.
Many folks have complicated relationships with food, their bodies, and diet culture, stemming from families, childhood, bullying, social media, social circles, our own beliefs and stereotypes, perhaps the medical system. And everyone’s relationship with food and their body will be different. Intuitive eating is “an approach developed to help people heal from the side effects of chronic dieting. ... An intuitive eater is defined as a person who “makes food choices without experiencing guilt or an ethical dilemma, honors hunger, respects fullness and enjoys the pleasure of eating” (
intuitiveeating.org). This might be similar to where you are at right now, this might be drastically different. It can be hard to know where to start with making peace with your body, feeling comfortable in your skin, and trusting your body to know what food you need. If these things sound interesting to you, I recommend checking out the
10 principles of intuitive eating, and here for more
resources on this topic. (If you are struggling with a diagnosed eating disorder, these principals apply to you as well. Please
click here for more information and as always, don’t struggle alone.)
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Mindfulness Resources
Track Your Happiness
- app that asks you questions throughout the day so you can understand your mood, thoughts and behaviors better
Forest
- app for staying focused and present by not touching your smartphone and planting a tree for you staying accountable
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Boston University Medical Campus Wellness Resources
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Boston University School of Public Health
| sphwell@bu.edu
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