I've been writing in recent issues about some of the challenges of living in the digital world, and citing research that reveals that living with constant distraction is not healthy for us or those we love, and according to much research, not even practical in terms of developing optimal efficiency.  Most recently, through the wisdom garnered through taking the MBSR journey with a most sincere and highly motivated class, I have become more and more certain of the pressing need to develop skills for developing greater self-compassion and the cultivation of wisdom in order to live more wisely. This summer's celebration of the anniversary of our walk on the moon, enabling us to look once more at our beautiful, fragile planet from the vantage point of the moon, also led to me doing some re-valuation. To become responsible maintainers of the planet, as Native American culture defines our charge, we humans seem to need support, and even role models, for re-cultivating skills for how to deepen our capacity for true compassion and wisdom.

 

Reflecting upon practical applications of compassion and wisdom, led me to remember a story shared by the renowned Zen Master, Thich Nhat Hahn(who is moving toward the end of his long and generous life, now that he, for so long a refugee, has been allowed to return to Vietnam). He tells the moving story of how he, like many people escaping perilous conditions today, fled with the Boat People who were escaping the Vietcong at the end of the Vietnamese war. As he and his people were desperately trying to find anything that could float(boats, leaky or not, doors, etc.) on which to place their families, friends, and even their beloved pets, so they could escape with their lives, Thich Nhat Hahn recalls that:

In our most recent MBSR class, one of our students, a psychologist and mother of two young children, a boy and a girl, one not yet school age and one just school age, wrote the following generous letter to us. It vividly expresses the relationship between compassion for self and the development of mindfulness skills and tools which can lead to wise choices, wise actions and real wisdom. Early in the MBSR program, she shared the challenges of trying to practice the skills she was learning early in the morning before her day got underway. At first, her young children, not understanding her new behavior of meditating would, as would be perfectly natural, try to interrupt in order to get her attention. She reported that her supportive husband would often strongly remind them, "Mommy is meditating now. Let Mommy meditate." As with all the new skills she was learning, there was a learning curve both for her and for her young family. Her solution was to bring compassion and wisdom, to try and work mindfully with a challenging situation, responding creatively, rather than reacting. By staying calm, but determined, she was able to honor her complex feelings, her needs and her children's needs, trusting that if she stayed calm, something good could result for all. And by putting her experience into letter form, she offered a gift to us all:

This beautiful letter, as well as this psychologist's and other class members' powerful insights that arose especially in the class which focused on working with mindful approaches to Difficult Communications, led me to go back to my notes that I had taken during a Harvard Medical School Conference entitled Meditation and Psychotherapy: Cultivating Compassion and Wisdom, in which the Dalai Lama was the keynote speaker. On the stage with him were some of the most prominent psychologists and psychiatrists in our country, along with Jon Kabat-Zinn, who is very close to the Dalai Lama.