April 1, 2019
I. Relationship Unconscious Podcast Series and Group Seminar Recordings
Relationship Unconscious Podcast Series

Several new titles are now available including:


Group Seminar Recordings

Now available are:



Please view the Relationship Unconscious website for more information on the Podcast Series, the Group Seminar Audio Series, and the Video Tele-Seminar Series.
II. Group Meetings on Saturday, April 6, 2019
The Men's Group: Vs. Getting What You Want: Disappointment in the Era of Ease, Entitlement and Gratification?  *
10:15 to 11:30 AM

Amidst a sociocultural landscape of eye-popping technology, widespread attitudes of immediate gratification and narcissistic individualism, and an emerging generation of youth who ardently disagree with Angela Duckworth's extolling of grit in her book of the same name, perhaps more people than ever before struggle with the paradoxical experience of not getting what they want. This has emerged as the primary reason why new patients contact me to be seen in psychotherapy. It seems as if we have artificial intelligence and its promise of a widening scope of ease on the one hand and, on the other hand, a mysterious set of incomprehensible factors that still leave many of us unable to attain that which we truly want: love, serenity, contentment, security, etc. The study of happiness and fulfillment is still in its infancy, formalized only decades ago with the birth of "positive psychology." But if the celebrated Netflix sci-fi technological horror series "Black Mirror" anticipates with any accuracy what is in store for us as a species, then a "negative psychology" will soon be needed: in an atmosphere of ease and plenty, how does one utilize or even tolerate the components of human experience that cannot be managed, altered or crafted to our liking?   In the next meeting of the Men's Group on Saturday, April 6, 2019 (10:15 to 11:30 AM), we will consider these issues from the perspective of what is known about disappointment, both as as an emotion and a construct of scientific inquiry. Some writings we will consider include the Harvard Business Review article "Dealing with Disappointment," one writer's framework for "the psychology of disappointment," a psychologist's examination of the cognitive factors involved in disappointment , and a scholar's summary of the theory and science of disappointment.
The Relationship Group: The Two Things You Must Absolutely Avoid in Your Relationship  *
11:45 AM to 1:00 PM

Contrary to what many people think, the factors most commonly viewed as detrimental to romantic relationships (i.e., communication issues, ongoing unresolved conflict, and an accumulation of hurt and regret) pale in comparison to two particular insidious and unconscious tendencies. These are externalizing and polarization . In externalizing, a partner unconsciously projects onto the other some difficult emotional experience or internal conflict, essentially saying to one's partner, I can't deal with this so you must deal with it. In polarization, the projection takes hold and one partner comes to represent one side of a conflict while the other partner represents the other side of the conflict. For example, if one partner struggles with having fun/being carefree and being responsible and conscientious, this internal conflict may get externalized or projected onto the other partner. Once the projection takes hold, polarization may occur as one partner champions a carefree lifestyle and the other a more responsible attitude. Externalizing and polarization are common, interrelated forces that set many couples adrift into agonizing distress and conundrums that often seem unsolvable. In the next meeting of the Relationship Group on Saturday, April 6, 2019 (11:45 AM to 1:00 PM), we will explore these dynamics, discuss their origins, and consider strategies that can ameliorate them.
The Dynamic Psychotherapy Process Group *
 1:15 to 2:30 PM

This therapy group utilizes the emerging dynamics among group members, and between the group members and facilitator, as a basis from which to examine one's characteristic ways of thinking, feeling, and relating to others.  Our next group session will be on Saturday, April 6, 2019 (1:15 to 2:30 PM) at the Laguna Hills office location.  
* If you would like to attend the Men's Group and/or the Relationship Group on April 6, 2019, please RSVP to me at 949-338-4388 or  jt@jamestobinphd.com . There is a limit of 14 attendees for each group and registrants will be accommodated on a first-come/first-serve basis. The fee is $25.00 (payable via cash or check at the time of the group meeting).

Location:
The Water Garden Business Center
23421 South Pointe Drive, Suite 130
Laguna Hills, CA, 92653

Please note that the Men's Group and the Relationship Group are psychoeducational in nature, not therapeutic, and do not constitute psychotherapy or counseling. In contrast, the Dynamic Psychotherapy Process Group is a therapeutic experience and entry occurs only after a pre-group screening interview.
James Tobin, Ph.D., PSY 22074 | 949-338-4388 |   jt@jamestobinphd.com