Memorial Day 2020 will be commemorated on Monday, May 25. The following is an article composed last year for an East Granby publication. It is my hope that sharing the experience our family will not bring pity. Instead, we hope that our story will generate a desire to honor the sacrifices made by our fallen heroes. We honor them best by ensuring that those who served beside them come home to understanding communities. Communities that have invested in educating themselves in mental health and suicide awarenes and seek out the knowledge of resources available to help our service connected individuals and their families. This is the heart of Resilience Grows Here! Veterans & Community. Together we thrive! Thank you for taking the time to read my Memorial Day experience. Right now, under the current circumstances, I urge us all to reach out and extend a call of concern and care to any veterans you may know. Mental Health First Aid Classes, QPR: Suicide Awareness Training and No Wrong Door training will return offering a chance for you to be a veteran community supporter.
On Sunday, May 8, 2005, my husband, Ray, and I were to celebrate our 24
th
wedding anniversary. It also happened to be Mother’s Day that year. We had awoken early and startled at 5:30 a.m. as I yelled out in my sleep. Our focus for the day was to assemble a package to mail to our son, Larry, who was deployed in Iraq with the Marines. It was our way to send hugs and love to our oldest boy and brother of our two other children, Emilee and Bryan. We tried to enjoy the day, but it felt strangely awkward to be celebrating.
Although Larry was faithful to stay in touch, he had informed us that he was going out on a mission. His Commanding Officer had indicated that the Marines would not be able to call home for Mother’s Day. Our hearts were heavy for the 1600 moms who had lost their children in war. We were thankful for our blessings, but the cloud of their loss hovered in our thoughts.
A few moments before 9 pm, we decided to end our day and I took our dog outside for his final walk. As I stood in front of our house, a van slowly approached on our road. I whispered to myself, “keep on going, keep on going” as it gradually passed by. With relief, I watched it proceed down the road until the van executed a quick U-turn. My heart pounded wildly as it headed back in my direction. The street lights beamed through the van accentuating the silhouette of the Marine covers being worn. I cannot possibly put into words the searing pain that seized me. They drove a few yards past our house, made
a
nother U-turn and parked at the end of our sidewalk. My bolt into the house and the cry from the pit of my soul coincided with the ring of the doorbell. The true impact of Memorial Day awaited on the other side our front door.
Our casualty officer, Capt. Brian Letendre and Gunny Sgt. Palmer stood at attention on our steps in their dress blues. The pain on their faces revealed their respect and love for a brother and family they had never met. Captain proceed to recite the agonizing, scripted words to us: “Mr. and Mrs. Philippon, I have been directed by the President of the United States and the Commandant of the Marine Corps to inform you that today, at zero 5:30, your son, Lance Corporal Lawrence Robert Philippon, was killed by small arms fire while in support of Operation Iraqi Freedom.”
It has been 14 years since that fateful day that our family took a direct hit. We have been blessed beyond measure to be held in the arms, thoughts and prayers of our family, friends, Larry’s friends and community. Our family has grown exponentially through each contact that has been made with the many Marines that were with Larry and others who served with him in other capacities. Intertwined with our lives is the Memorial Day experience of those who returned home from war. They have been our surrogate sons, our pillars of strength, our honor to know and our drive to protect. Our family is one of many. There are countless, heartbreaking remembrances of doors opening to hear of the ultimate sacrifice of loved ones.
With the current wars, the eyes and hearts of our nation were awakened with a refreshed awareness of those who serve. Early on, names of those killed were released daily from the Department of Defense. Newspapers and television newscasts showed images and footage of flag draped caskets being unloaded from Angel Flights at Dover AFB, flag lined streets, motorcycle escorts, lines of sympathizers at funeral homes, tearful reverence of loved ones recounted and the faces of precious heroes. None of which occurred when our Vietnam era service members returned home under flags or as survivors. These men of valor and their families have worked diligently to ensure that our fallen from Afghanistan and Iraq have been welcomed home properly and not with the disrespect and dishonor which they themselves endured.
Like the warriors of the current campaigns, our Vietnam Veterans have witnessed atrocities and have held their dying friends in their arms. As sons and daughters closed their eyes and took their final breaths, these brave men and women held them on behalf of the mothers and fathers that could not be with them. They carry the perpetual wounds of war, the memories of their fallen brothers and sisters in arms and the reality of Memorial Day, every day. The mission for the rest of their lives will be to circle around one another and their families, supporting, encouraging, remembering and honoring.
As citizens, this national holiday offers most a day off from work. Picnics are planned, parades have been organized, mattress and car sales are touted, the gate to Summer season is opened wide and “Happy Memorial Day” greetings are given. All benefits we enjoy and advantages that are considered worthy to defend by those who have raised their hand in oath to say, “Send me.” But, how do we show gratitude for the cherished liberties that we have received from these brave sons and daughters who gave their all?
As you read this, we stand on the doorstep of Memorial Day 2020. I would like to share the insight that our family has learned through the tremendous loss of our son and brother, Lcpl Lawrence R. Philippon, who gave his life in service to our country.
“Never Forget,” is the phrase that has been brought to our attention repeatedly in the military circles which have embraced us.
“Never Forget” that we have asked men and women to fight on our behalf. It is our duty to honor and serve them when they come home to live among us.
“Never forget,” that, for those who fell, their absence says, “For your tomorrows, we gave our todays.” As long as you speak their name, they are never completely gone.
Remembrance is a treasured comfort to their families and to their comrades in arms. Visit their resting places, speak their names, carry their names in your parade. Teach your children about the courageous acts of valor and the sacrifices others have made to secure their futures.
“Never Forget” that those who gave their full measure, laid down the torch they carried to protect their brothers and sisters beside them. We have come to realize that the highest way to bestow honor upon our fallen, is to pick up that torch and care for those who return from battle. Learning about the process of becoming a warrior, knowing the strengths, challenges and wounds of our military members and their families is crucial to closing the divide between their service and their lives in our communities. Learn about the reliable resources available for our Veterans. The feeling of isolation, of “not fitting in,” back home is, literally, killing them. The war returned with many who have died by suicide and Memorial Day must honor their sacrifices, as well. At Resilience Grows Here, we can point our veterans and their families to reliable resources.
Our son’s birthday is on March 20th. We purchase single roses to leave at each of the places in West Hartford that bear his name. Last year we had laid a rose at the foot of the memorial highway sign on Farmington Avenue. The next day that I drove past, I saw that a thankful soul had picked up that rose and secured it on the sign near Larry’s name. Flags and flowers since have been placed and a grateful landscaper has asked permission to maintain the area around the sign. Our hearts smiled to know that Memorial Day does live in grateful hearts every day.
We do not have to go far to find fallen heroes to honor from every war in which our nation has fought. Across the state of Connecticut, you will find Veteran memorials in every town and in the military sections of our cemeteries. If you travel through New Britain, on Sunnyslope Dr. or High Street, you will see the memorials for our Capt. Brian Letendre. He too gave up his tomorrows for our todays on May 3, 2006. In Granby, you will find a memorial in the center of town and a bench nearby bearing the name of our Army hero, Specialist Richard Emmons, III, from Granby. In Simsbury, on Rt. 309, the memorial highway sign stands at attention for Simsbury’s native hero, Sgt. Felix Del Greco. Felix was the first CT National Guardsman to die in Iraq. There are many more.
Our fallen leave a legacy that must not be ignored. We are forever blessed as a nation to have individuals who answer the call to give up their lives, if necessary, to preserve our freedoms.
Memorial Day affords us all the opportunity to be deliberate in our appreciation and remembrance of these sons and daughters of America.
“Every name…is a lightning strike to some heart, and breaks like thunder over some home, and falls a long black shadow upon some hearthstone.” - The Gettysburg Compiler, July 7, 1863 on the killed and wounded at Gettysburg.
May you have a meaningful Memorial Day and may the words “Never Forget” be offered with heartfelt respect to the families of the fallen and to those who have lost their battle buddies in war and at home.
Leesa Philippon
US Army Veteran, Gold Star Mother, Blue Star Mother and
Communication & Outreach Coordinator of “Resilience Grows Here,” a Veterans initiative of The Farmington Valley Health District
email: lphilippon@fvhd.org
www.ResilienceGrowsHere.org
