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THE SMALL HOURS - EASTERTIDE
2018
by Susan Garsoe
Have you learned the lessons only of those who admired you,
and were tender with you, and stood aside for you?
Have you not learned great lessons from those
who braced themselves against you,
and disputed passage with you?
From "Leaves of Grass" -
Walt Whitman
In a recent NYTimes article, Leslie Jamieson wrote an essay, "A Story to Get Sober In." (March 18, 2018.) She wrote about, among many things, her AA Meetings: "{It} helped me understand that certain things about meetings could drive me crazy and that I could still need them." The essay looked at her belief that she needed to be tortured, to suffer, to drink in order to be creative. The meetings saved her from her delusion. In the course of her recovery, she studied the many writers who recovered from their addictions, to find how they had reimagined their creative lives. David Foster Wallace recognized the saving alchemy of community in his AA meetings.
Sometimes church, the place that saved me, the place that I need, can drive me crazy. I see us getting upset over small things, and getting lost in minutiae, forgetting that Jesus has given us very clear ways to be with one another. But we cannot expect, where two or more are gathered, to be cosseted and agreed with every step of the way. If so, we would never change.
St. Benedict knew this. For the monks at his monastery in Montecassino, he wrote "The Rule." There were 73 Chapters in "The Rule." The Quadrant Chart included here was designed by Episcopal priest Cynthia Bourgeault to show us how those 73 chapters informed the rhythm of days in the monastery. Each day, the monks were to pray alone, pray together; work alone, work together. Benedict called the practice of working together, "thlipsis," or "purification through friction." He knew that if we understand that this will happen, then we can learn about ourselves and each other in the midst of friction, and be changed.
Walt Whitman knew it too. In his beautiful poem "Leaves of Grass (later titled "Song of Myself,) he included the lovely stanza about the ones who will "dispute passage with you."
We come together as church and are often dismayed that humans gather there! We are dismayed when we find that our feelings get hurt, or we feel excluded, or we think that perhaps there would be a better way to hang the altar cloth. It's tempting to want to flee, or to think that there must be a better church somewhere else, where everyone is always kind and considerate. Such a place does not exist. We flawed and beautiful creatures are church, and Jesus insists that we stay in community. That we love one another. No easy task and his parables speak to that.
In his recovery, David Foster Wallace experienced the alchemy of community. Alchemy - a process that transforms. We stay in community when it's hard because, like Benedict and Whitman, we recognize the power of community to change us.
Happy Eastertide, and may we remember these words that send us out at the end of our service: "And we humbly beseech thee, O heavenly Father, so to assist us with thy grace, that we may continue in that holy fellowship, and do all such good works as thou hast prepared for us to walk in; through Jesus Christ our Lord, to whom, with thee and the Holy Ghost, be all honor and glory, world without end. Amen."
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