When Things Don't Go As Planned
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Okay, friends! Do you ever have those days or weeks, months or years that things just don’t seem to go as planned? You’ve got your color-coded calendar where you’ve placed your family’s doctor appointments, your friend’s wedding, your work deadlines, and occasionally, a workout or two. And then,
BAM!
Right in the middle of your too-much-to-do monthly schedule you get
THAT
call. Your doctor has the test results. Your friend’s Mom dies too suddenly. You get a training cancelled and you were depending on that money. You have a flat tire and you
GET
to replace all four!?!
What do you do when you get overloaded and life doesn’t go as planned? I must admit, I don’t handle these times well. And, you would think by the ripe “older age” of 55 that I would have figured out some tools and techniques. But, shock immobilizes. Grief strikes at the heart. Money issues just don’t go away. How do you deal? And, how do you model and teach your kids to deal?
Have you ever heard of a Bullet Journal? It’s a way of journaling by making lists. Let’s start off by looking at a list of ways
NOT
to handle the unplanned.
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15 Unhealthy Coping Skills
(Do you see yourself in any of these? Yikes! I sure do!)
- Leave without warning
- Fighting & negative comebacks
- Defensiveness
- Mentally flee
- Sleeping away the problem
- Passive-aggressive behavior (ultimatums)
- Negative body language (crossed legs and arms)
- Not listening by jumping in to talk
- Avoiding eye contact
- Over-eating
- Under-eating
- Lack of sleep
- Letting go of reality
- Lack of proper hygiene
- Lack of communication
Source: Pinterest
The Sound of Ed’s Voice
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Maybe this is a starting off point to make your own list. Maybe your list will look different. Maybe your list is three items, but you are
really good
at those three items! Give it a try and get these thoughts out of your head and onto paper!
For years we’ve heard the benefits of expressing gratitude. Expressing and identifying gratitude or thankfulness within the day-to-day busyness of life can help us when we are faced with the unplanned.
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So, why not start today with a Bullet Journal for
Gratitude
. This is a great activity to do with your kids, too! Here are a few suggestions:
- Daily Affirmations (Need a suggestion? For $14.95 plus shipping you can order the Second Edition of Kids’ Power, Too! Words to Grow By co-authored by Cathey Brown, founder and CEO of Rainbow Days, Inc.)
- Things for which I’m most thankful
- Motivational quotes
- Best moments in life
- Favorite thing about each season
And, finally, I’d like to reference Session 3 in our
Kids’
and
Youth Connection
curricula. It’s the session where we discuss
Feelings
. In May of this year I started my 21
st
year of association and employment with Rainbow Days and the Trans4m Center. Yes, that means I was 35 when I began facilitating groups with children, youth, and parents within school and community settings as well as homeless and domestic violence shelters and before my days as a trainer. It was in the early days of my employment as I taught the kiddos the lessons in our curricula that I began to heal from a childhood where I didn’t receive these healthy messages. I learned all my feelings were okay, its how I handle the “don’t like” feelings that mattered most. Not all the messages I taught were easy to learn after so many years of unhealthy coping. But with the help of wise counselors, I finally learned that the best way to deal with the feelings, and often those things associated with the unplanned times of life, is not to escape them, no matter how much I disliked them, but to BE with the feelings.
BE
with feelings??
Absolutely! At least after we are able to identify them.
So treat yourself to some me-time. Grab your favorite beverage and sit in a comfy chair. Go for a walk. Write in a journal. Draw in a sketch book. Listen to music. Talk to a friend. Pray. And really FEEL the feelings even when you don’t like them. As I’ve learned, they won’t kill me. They won’t starve me. It may not be comfortable, but the feelings won’t last forever. It’s a process. There is a learning curve. Be gentle and kind to yourself during this time of feeling. Need a bit more guidance? Check out
this article
.
The unplanned always happens. We have very little control over the “what,” but we do have control over the “how.” Do you have other suggestions you’d like to share? I’d love to hear from you and will
share your wisdom
.
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Until the next unplanned life event,
Kathy Daley
Consulting Trainer
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Have you waited to see if you had the time in your calendar to attend?
There are ONLY A HANDFUL of full registrations remaining along with some partial registrations.
Don't wait until the last minute. REGISTER NOW!
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Are you in need of Continuing Education Units (CEUs) and summer is the best time for you to get them? Then join us in Dallas for The Trans4m Center's first annual Summer Symposium:
Strengthening Self-Trans4ming Others!
From
Monday, July 9 through Thursday, July 12, 2018
we will offer the opportunity for you to receive 24 CEUs!
Topics to be covered will range from "When Crisis Hits Your School - Working with Affected Students" to "Trauma-Informed Care: Making It Personal," and "The Multi-Generational Workplace."
Some of your favorite Trans4m Trainers will be on hand to facilitate these dynamic workshops - Cathey Brown, Kathy Daley, Jill Darling and Karen Williams and more!
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CBSG Program Facilitator Training
Friday, July 27, 2018
Kids’ Connection, Youth Connection,
and
Kids’ Connection, Too
(collectively known as the
CBSG
®
Program
) are unique, interactive, multi-cultural curriculum-based prevention interventions that teach high-risk children and youth ages 4-17 a set of essential life skills: skills to help them learn how to cope with difficult family situations (which include Adverse Childhood Experiences), resist negative peer pressure, set and achieve goals, and refuse alcohol, tobacco, and other drugs.
This training is designed to fully prepare schools, community-based organizations, churches, juvenile justice divisions, volunteers, and other youth service professionals to fully implement the
CBSG Program
with fidelity.
Those completing this training will receive their choice one of the
CBSG Program
Facilitator manuals:
- Kids’ Connection for ages 4-12 in Schools and Communities
- Youth Connection for ages 10-17 in Schools and Communities
- Kids’ Connection, Too for Ages 4-15 in Homeless & Domestic Violence Shelters, Group Homes & Other Transitional Living Environments
LOCATION:
Dallas, Texas
TIME:
8:30am - 4:30pm (The
CBSG Program Facilitator Training
is 7 hours of CEUs!)
COST:
Special Discount Price of $195 per person, one manual included (Save $55!) BUT you can save even more by registering by
July 6
, use the promo code
EARLYBIRD
(be sure to click the "Apply" button to the right of the box where you enter the code), and attend the training for only
$175
!!
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We Want to Hear from YOU!
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Have you been facilitating the
CBSG Program
with children and/or youth and have some success stories you would be willing to share?
We would love to hear your stories of the lives you are changing for the better!!
Please email
Sandi McFarland
and you might see your story in a future
Trans4ming News
newsletter!
Please remember to not share specific details or names. A Permission to Print form will be sent to individuals whose stories have been chosen.
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The Trans4m Center | 214.887.0726 | trans4mcenter.org
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STAY CONNECTED
@trans4mcenter
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