December 10, 2018
Group Meetings
on Saturday, December 15, 2018
The Relationship Group: The New Codependence *
11:45 AM to 1:00 PM

Although the term "codependence" has been used to refer to a wide range of problematic relational tendencies, over the last several decades mental health experts have made significant strides in clarifying the signs and symptoms of codependence , understanding its impact on romantic relationships , and identifying its origins . At its core, codependence is the manifestation of a distinct personality type that relies on empathic attunement to others as a means of insuring psychological and emotional survival. In essence, the codependent thrives and finds meaning by relinquishing his or her own needs for those of the other. In order to live, the codependent lives for and through the other.

While many therapeutic approaches now exist that successfully combat codependent tendencies, it is my sense that -- much like the influenza virus -- a new strain of codependence has arisen and is especially pernicious.  In the next meeting of the Relationship Group on Saturday, December 15, 2018 (11:45 AM to 1:00 PM) , I will describe how this new strain of codependence has evolved in the context of the culture's proneness toward self-promotion, self-inflation, and narcissism. As many have pointed out, perhaps most notably Ross Rosenberg in his book The Human Magnet Syndrome: Why We Love People Who Hurt Us , the rise of narcissistic problems stimulates a corresponding surge of codependency. Whereas codependent tendencies would ultimately lead to one's experiencing shame, rejection, and resentment only a generation ago, in today's world codependence is often generously rewarded and, hence, more resistant to even being detected. Contemporary politics of power, control and subjugation support codependency as an essential counterpart to common narcissistic dynamics in parenting, in the workplace, and in peer groups.
The Men's Group: Beyond the Nice Guy Syndrome: "Inverted Narcissism" *
10:15 to 11:30 AM
With the 2003 release of "No More Mr. Nice Guy: A Proven Plan For Getting What You Want in Love, Sex, and Life," self-help expert and psychotherapist Robert Glover received significant acclaim. The book, though shrouded in controversy, highlighted a cluster of tendencies among men that in psychology has typically been characterized as "codependency," i.e., the compulsive, unconscious need to appeal to others in order to garner a positive sense of self and security in relationships. The book's ongoing favorable reception speaks to the wide-ranging problems many men experience that stem from deeply-rooted feelings of inadequacy, insecurity, and self-doubt. I want, however, to suggest the emergence of a new syndrome among men, one that may be considered a variant of or sequel to Glover's -- "inverted narcissism."

Existing on a personality continuum between codependence on one pole and narcissism on the other pole, the inverted narcissist struggles with fluctuations between being "nice" and being "cruel," between giving and taking, between selflessness and selfishness. He exists marooned between opposing needs, desires, and value systems; and, over time, this opposition typically results in a kind of partitioning of the personality in which contradictions and inconsistencies abound. In the next meeting of the Men's Group on Saturday, December 15, 2018 (10:15 to 11:30 AM) , we will explore in more detail the nature of inverted narcissism and how it may be used to explain a variety of issues including infidelity, self-sabotage, addiction, boredom, chronic disappointment, and low-grade depression. Its proliferation among modern men will be explained as the logical compromise between codependent and narcissistic tendencies, each of which is increasingly under attack by advancing cultural and political convention.
The Dynamic Psychotherapy Process Group *
 1:15 to 2:30 PM
This therapy group utilizes the emerging dynamics among group members, and between the group members and facilitator, as a basis from which to examine one's characteristic ways of thinking, feeling, and relating to others.  Our next group session will be on Saturday, December 15, 2018 (1:15 to 2:30 PM) at the Laguna Hills office location.  
* If you would like to attend the Men's Group and/or the Relationship Group on December 15, 2018, please RSVP to me at 949-338-4388 or  [email protected] . There is a limit of 14 attendees for each group and registrants will be accommodated on a first-come/first-serve basis. The fee is $25.00 (payable via cash or check at the time of the group meeting).

Location:
The Water Garden Business Center
23421 South Pointe Drive, Suite 130
Laguna Hills, CA, 92653

Please note that the Men's Group and the Relationship Group are psychoeducational in nature, not therapeutic, and do not constitute psychotherapy or counseling. In contrast, the Dynamic Psychotherapy Process Group is a therapeutic experience and entry occurs only after a pre-group screening interview.
James Tobin, Ph.D., PSY 22074 | 949-338-4388 |   [email protected]