Last month, I shared about bitterness and the need to forgive. My wife read that and then asked me, "but what about the people who have forgiven but then have to live with or associate with a spouse, child, or friend that won't forgive them? How do you do that and still walk in peace and in God's love when you're love is still rejected by the person? Well that is an interesting conundrum?

So I asked the Lord to help me understand this and He took me to the story of Joseph starting with Genesis 37. The first thing he showed me was God spoke to him and gave him revelation but it was intended for him and not for others. When he told his brothers and even his father what God had said, they got angry with him. They rejected him severely! I think the first lesson I learned was that after I have repented of hurting someone and I truly begin to hear from God, I need to stay quiet with that revelation. It was intended for you not your family or loved one. They are still hurting. So walk with the Lord, listen to what God is showing you but don't be in a hurry to share that with the ones from whom you seek forgiveness.

When others put up the walls of unforgiveness they actually put themselves in prison (Matt.18:33,34) which results in the same kind of misery that the brothers and father had after they sold Joseph into slavery. Chapter 37 says, the brothers were afraid and had to lie even more and "...that Jacob tore his clothes off and mourned..." Joseph on the other hand prospered in Egypt under Potiphar and in chapter 39 the bible says, "....The Lord was with Joseph and he prospered..." He also lived in a very comfortable place. So the next step in this journey is to stay focused on the Lord and grow with him, even though there is a disconnect with your loved one.  You may need support from small groups or close Godly friends to spiritually nurture you through this time.
When I was in early recovery and Vicki was still so angry with me for all I had done(or not done), so the Lord told me to keep my mouth shut and not tell her what He was doing in my life but rather show her. Let my actions impact her heart not my words change her mind.

The next thing is we have to persevere. Joseph stayed pure and holy. Then Potiphar's wife tried to seduce him and the result was she lied about him and it hurt him. He was falsely accused and then sent back to prison. Now that's not fair!  He did everything right, yet he got thrown into prison. His feelings were never considered....sound familiar? Have you done all the right things as best you can, have you tried to show love and forgiveness and still get thrown back into that prison of isolation and loneliness? But Joseph walked with the Lord and the Lord was with him and he found favor in all that he did in the prison and with the prison warden. So who's the warden of your prison? Is it possible to walk with the Lord while you are in the prison of unforgiveness and still find favor with the prison warden? Joseph did....I did in my marriage....so can you, persevere! Don't give up!

In chapters 40 and 41 Joseph begins to operate in his gifting in terms of his dreams and interpretations. He is noticed by others because of this. The next step in this journey is to seek God's giftings and purpose in your life and begin to operate in them. Trust in the Lord, die to self and your own personal feelings, and get out of yourself by walking in the ministry that God has given you through your gifts. We all have them. If you don't know what yours is then ask. James 1:4,5 says, "Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking in anything. If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all with out finding fault(we're forgiven by God already and there is no condemnation), and it will be given him." So ask Him!

Lastly the promise!  Joseph stored up the fullness of his wisdom in Egypt for seven years. The fruits of his labor were many so that after seven years, God did a miracle for Joseph. He brought his family to him. Joseph didn't go find them and tell them to come to him or offer them money, food or land. No, the Lord brought them to him out of their own desperation.... so Brother or Sister, if your heart aches because loved ones or dear ones who have hurt you or are rejecting you, seem so far away...Don't give up, Trust God that he will send the Holy Spirit to draw them back to you in his timing and for his glory. Yes, for HIS GLORY! Why, because he receives glory when your relationship is restored. When there is healing and forgiveness in your family or when your marriage is totally reconciled! Don't give up and miss the miracle. It took a lot of years of famine to get the family to come to Egypt where Joseph was!

The promise is this: If you will trust God with all your heart, seek to operate in his will and giftings, and let your life reflect the character of God to all around you.....THE HOLY SPIRIT WILL DRAW THE LOVED ONE BACK TO YOU BASED ON WHAT THEY SEE NOT WHAT THEY HEAR!  When that occurs then just like in chapter 47, your family will settle in the best part of the land, and all will be provided for. God's glory shines when relationships are restored.   The promise is... you will live in HIS REST.                                                                Rock