Focused
On Simone
and Her Voice

December 18, 2018
Insights from Lisa Mitzel

Simone Biles was on "Good Morning America" a few days ago. She opened up about taking anti-anxiety medication and seeing a therapist regularly, because of the abuse and pain she has endured. Now, chosen as ESPN "Most Dominant Athlete of 2018," and winning the World Championships in Doha, she also describes her personal growth and says:
 
“This is the year I found my voice.”

At 21 years old, Olympic champion, 4-Time World Champion, and one of the most accomplished athletes in the world, she now has found her voice after abuse. Did she not have a voice before? She did. But Simone was in pain and could not use it. Abuse causes confusion and doubt to the point that a person, even the toughest athletes, cannot speak up.

In sports, we are firm, we are strict and push athletes to their limits with our words (No, no, do it again!). But when is ‘strict’ too hard? When does a coach cross the line and it becomes abuse?

I work with athletes and sometimes they report coaching behavior that is clearly verbal and emotional abuse—which is a pattern of mistreatment. I teach athletes that repetitive “mean” treatment is abuse and it’s not okay. I bring in the parents, I suggest options, including meeting with coaches, getting additional help, and more. My job is to educate, support, and create change. This is challenging work, yet so important. We are all in this together. Let’s increase awareness of when “strict” becomes abuse, because it’s everywhere…and we must speak up to keep athletes safe.

Sneak Peek - from FAI
Chapter 5: I Won’t Be Too Hard On You
I recently coached for USA Gymnastics at the TOPs National Training Camp in Tennessee. One exercise was for the coaches to get down on a knee, and to their athlete, say, “I’m proud of you for making it to this camp. Thank you for working so hard, thank you for being my Partner.” It was strange yet wonderful to do this, a breakthrough technique to practice care and respect. This is a new era of showing authentic appreciation to your athletes and increasing their self-esteem.

From my book, Focused and Inspired , I share the contrasting behaviors, what to be aware of that is hurtful…

The Ruler  

The strict disciplinarian has been a historic coaching model in our sports culture. This severe type of behavior in coaches, parents, or any adult, will be referred to as “the Ruler.” For the Ruler, their greatest desire is to be in control. Rulers want to be seen as the boss, they want athletes to keep quiet, and they insist on doing things one way. This is called "my way.” “My way” is scary, because athletes are scared. “My way” only considers the thoughts, feelings, and power of the Ruler. No questions…the athlete obeys.

The Ruler:

•     Acts as commander and uses intimidating language: “I know the sport. I am older, smarter, and I know how to train and win. You must do what I say, if you complain, you’re out.”
•     Shifts moods, goes back and forth from strict to nice, depending on the athlete’s performance. Daily, it’s confusing. And often, athletes get scolded and belittled.
•     Acts as judge, jury, and executioner. If athletes don’t do everything, they are made to feel like a coward. This hammers on the athlete’s psyche, creating shame and vulnerability.
•     Appears and sounds powerful, but the Ruler actually confuses, frightens, and weakens an athlete, tears them down mentally and emotionally.
•     Rarely gives compliments or praise. Athletes rarely feel good enough—not even as a person.
 
When a coach or parent dismisses an athlete’s experience, intelligence, and feelings in front of others, he/she manipulates everyone around them. When athletes are restricted and scared to speak up, fear and pain become normal and familiar. Fear and pain, unconsciously, become acceptable. It is my hope we will not continue to see this behavior, but it takes every single coach and parent to reflect on themselves and to speak up. Don’t be fooled by a coach or parent who is “nice” but then turns around and threatens. We can all become aware and create safety for our athletes.

Spotlight: IGC Funds
“Focused” Clinics
for YOU in 2019

International Gymnastics Camp is a huge sponsor of Lisa’s new book, Focused and Inspired , and has donated funds to help provide coaching and safety education. Thank you, IGC! If you want to bring Lisa to your club, school, or organization to speak and bring her books, but your budget is small, we can provide half of the fees and expenses to give you inspiring clinics and create positive change with your team. Schedule clinics in 2019, go to Lisa’s website, LisaMitzel.com or reach her at HeyMitz@gmail.com .


Inspiring Holiday Gifts

Holiday Gifts:  Whether athletes are perfectionists, nervous or quiet, Lisa gives tools and new mindsets for athletes, coaches, and parents. When everyone works together, the athlete is motivated, clear-minded, and optimistic! Be radical, buy “Focused” books, and give your athlete the power of expression.

Focused and On Fire and Focused and Inspired make thoughtful and purposeful gifts over the Holidays for Athletes, Coaches and Parents! We have a Special Offer for the "Lisa Mitzel Pack" of BOTH books for only $30! (Regular $35 for Pack, or $37 purchased separately). No promo code needed when ordering online (publisher's website) at: tinyurl.com/LisaMitzelPack

BOOKS WILL BE SHIPPED 3-DAY DELIVERY FOR HOLIDAYS!! 
Lisa’s Videos: Take-a-Breath Tuesdays.  
My short videos spotlight parts of my books, share news, and support YOU in developing self-awareness and being an effective coach or support in guiding athletes. Follow me on: FB, IG @mitzel_coach, and Twitter.
Focused and Inspired is dedicated to every athlete who has ever been hurt by the misuse of power in sports, and especially dedicated to the athlete-survivors of sexual abuse, who are still healing, and who spoke up and shared their stories. You are so brave! Thank you for helping others to speak up and begin to heal.
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