"You must do the thing you think you cannot do." -Eleanor Roosevelt
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Greetings!
Children with RAD don't handle control, or being in charge, very well. at. all. They try to manipulate anything and everything and anyone and everyone to try to be in control in order to make themselves feel a (false) sense of safety.
A lot of therapeutic programs and professionals say that a child has to be given full control of everything in order to feel like they are safe. And, in a way, that's right, but the thing they are in charge of is
themselves
; their body, behaviours, and thoughts.
When they have complete self-control over the
5 Things a Child is in Charge Of
they will then be strong enough to have some control and choices in other areas; and finally they catch up emotionally and developmentally to age-appropriate choice-making. They do eventually get there, I promise!
Enjoy!
With love,
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This poster was created by my favourite therapist and is one of the greatest things ever! It gives the child a sense of being in charge of their own life and choices, and has clear guidelines and reminders for parents on what their child is healthy enough to make choices about. Every house should have one hung up for daily viewing!
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My Brain
A child is in charge of how they use their brain. They can choose to get their brain shifted out of fight, flight, freeze and into logic and reasoning by completing their brain-shifters. They are in charge of building the super-highway out of survival mode and paving the way to logic and reasoning.
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My Feelings
A child can choose to share their feelings in appropriate ways, using their words rather than their actions (being destructive, defiant, disrespectful). They can choose to work hard at home and in therapy, learning appropriate ways to share feelings, and they can choose to have positive feelings instead of always feeling negative.
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My Strong
A child can choose to be strong. Strong enough to share their feelings, work through their trauma; strong enough to begin to trust their parents and to make good choices. Strong enough to want to work on their life and get healthy.
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My Thoughts
"Thinking positive, happy, hopeful, optimistic, joyful thoughts decreases cortisol and produces serotonin, which creates a sense of well-being. This helps your brain function at peak capacity."
A child is in charge of what they think about. They can choose to think they 'can't do anything' or 'aren't good enough', or they can choose to switch their thoughts around and go with the Little Red Caboose (with a twist): "I
know
I can, I
know
I can."
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My Six Jobs
"My job is to be Respectful, Responsible, Fun to be around, and I have to do things Fast & Snappy, Right the first time, the Adult's way."
A child can choose to work on The 6 Jobs of Strong Kids to become a child (and then a teen and adult) who others enjoy spending time with, who excels in school, shows empathy and compassion for others, has meaningful relationships, and who has great work ethics and gets along with their boss and coworkers.
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Therapeutic Respite Provider Training with Nancy Thomas
Join our 4-day training at The RADish Ranch!
April 16 - 19, 2019; Limited spots available!
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"For I know the plans I have for you", declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you HOPE and a FUTURE."
Jeremiah 29:11
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