Welcome to the world Seraphina!

Seraphina:

Already having our "little princess" at home, this baby seemed different. I (Anna) always thought of her as my little angel. The first name I liked, and the last one we considered was Seraphina. It is from the word Seraphim, which are heavenly angels who's sole purpose is to love and worship God. What better hope could we have for our daughter than that she would also grow to do the same?

Love:

Her middle name holds the most significance, and a bit of a long story (so bare with me because it's worth it)

June 17th everything changed in our household. My husband, who has always been the most supportive and loving of husbands, decided that he was no longer interested in the Lord or our family. It really sprang out of nowhere it seemed. It was like a light switch turned off in him, the light of love simply disappeared from his life. He would tell you that his decision to walk away from his faith and family grew slowly without him really noticing because he simply stopped focusing on or obeying the Lord (in spending time with him, going to church regularly, reading the Word etc.)

Four days into all of this, I learned what true love is. I learned that the everlasting love of God, the kind that is unchanging and unmoving was waiting for me. I had always believed I loved God, but really I just wanted Him to love me enough to give me what I expected out of life.... Health, happiness, success, etc. I had never had a relationship with God that was genuine, because it was always one sided until now. God loved me, and I thanked Him for giving me what I wanted.

Wednesday June 20th, was the day that changed me forever. My husband had rejected me, (had gone days without even a word to me) and I needed escape, so I stepped out on the back deck during a thunder storm and started truly pouring my heart out to God. He is so gracious and patient, "Are you with me?" I asked, to which the most elaborate display of lightening filled the sky, with thunder rolling on every side of me, and the scripture was breathed to me "I am with you always, even to the end of the age" "Oh God, I'm sorry for not seeing you in the storm, the rain, the grass, the trees, the breeze - you breathed out stars, you are here for me" I said to the storm.

I got a blanket and sat on our front porch swing and learned how to be intimate with God. This was my first conversation with God, oh, I had talked at God before, cried out to Him before, had prayers answered and been blessed, but I had never had an intimate, lovers conversation with God before. He taught me some things. I stayed for a long time on the porch. I felt so loved, refreshed, nurtured, complete. I finally opened up like a butterfly from a cocoon learning to live after having to choose to die (to my own nature)

The weeks following that were very up and down. My husband saw the change in me and agreed to give our marriage a one week trial - In the few days after that (June 22nd-24th) we spent more time communicating and learning about each other than ever before. He was opening up to me, but still not willing to bring God into the equation. Then, life started up again - he went back to work, I went out of town, I went back to work, and I saw my husband slip away.

Before I left town (to go to Chicago for a teachers course) I knew my husband was lost to me. He had withdrawn and had no interest in showing love to anyone in our household. Monday July 9th after I returned he confirmed it to me by telling me (more than once in a day) "I don't love you" - as if a wife needs to hear it more than once to have it burned into her soul for eternity - but it was put out there nonetheless, and broke my heart. But even broken hearted, I was not hopeless.

I had been clearly told by God back on June 20th, to not be the Holy Spirit to my husband. The devotional I had been listening to stated it this way "There is nothing more damaging to the intimacy of marriage, then a wife trying to be the Holy Spirit (spiritual conscience) to her husband" that statement may have been heard on the radio by millions of people, but it was meant for me. In the past 5.5 years of our marriage if my husband acted unloving or selfish I always pushed him back in line. To be fair to him, it was usually few and far between - I would have described our marriage as one of those rare things that come along, when you know that you couldn't have found anyone better created to complete you. But now, I was different. I was praying for my husband, asking friends to pray, and loving him in every way I knew how, without receiving a single ounce of love in return.

My friend Jennifer texted me these verses "But if I were you, I would appeal to God' I would lay my cause before Him. He performs wonders that cannot be fathomed, miracles that cannot be counted" - Job 5:8-9 and this one "I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you' I will re move from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh. And I will put my Spirit in you and move you to follow my decrees and be careful to keep my laws." Ezekiel 36:26 I claimed those verses, sharing them with my mom. I knew that God could perform miracles, and I knew that my husband needed a new heart. But God was going to have to perform the miracle, not me.

As I gave my 3 year old daughter a bath one night I removed an old band-aid, and I know it hurt my daughter, but I did it because I loved her, and I wanted to make sure she was healing properly. The pain lasted for just a moment, so that I could care for her needs. I was reminded again of God, and trusting Him. I was willing for the pain of the removal of my marriage so that we could heal properly.

August 6th, still no real change in my husband. I was no longer allowed to talk about God in front of him, and the only reason he was staying was because we had medical bills from the upcoming birth of our daughter and he couldn't afford to leave just yet. (Another miracle of our surprise pregnancy) I had taken Haddi (our 3 year old) to the zoo for the day and when I came home my husband told me that he had finally decided what to do about our marriage. If I couldn't promise to not bring up God in another conversation then he was going to leave us all permanently. I told him I couldn't promise such a thing because I had been so changed by what had transpired this summer I couldn't hold it back from the human I loved the most. So he said that made the decision for him. I accepted it, and then I felt the need to simply hug my husband and pray for him out loud,

I don't know why at this moment the Lord allowed his heart to soften, but in praying for God to touch my husband's heart it was like a light switch was flipped. A cloud lifted from his eyes and he told me. "I don't love God, but I am willing to let Him love me because of the love I have seen in you from Him. You have loved me without any love or commitment in return and I want to experience that from God" - That decision from my husband changed him, changed our marriage, changed our family and changed our entire future.

As I looked at my husband, it was like seeing a newborn baby. His heart was being formed, and it was delicate, fragile and susceptible to harm. In the months since he has taken an active role in his own life of choosing to learn who God is, and learning to love Him, and he has become the dream husband that I never even imagined I could have. It was amazing having him with me when our daughter was born, knowing that a few months prior he wouldn't have cared to be at all.

So - all that said, because we realized there was nothing more important than love, the love of God and to love each other - her middle name is Love.

We have no greater hope than that you would also be able to experience this kind of love. It's free to anyone who would choose it, and it will change your life forever!

Her birth story.

I really hadn't planned to share anything about her birth story - mostly because I didn't intend for it to be exciting or rare or special... but, God had other plans. So, here we go.

I went into labor Sunday November 11th at 11:27 AM - contractions were regular but spaced out. This continued until the night when they got to be about 7 minutes apart... however, by morning they were spaced again and things slowed down.

At noon on the 12th I went and got accupuncture to help things get moving again and we started all over (already pretty tired by this point)

We were having a home birth and things were all prepared for it. At 6pm on the 12th our midwife came to the house, checked my progress and I was at a 3 (of 10) my contractions were starting to get pretty regular but not too intense yet so delivery seemed far away.

By 8:30 PM I was done, I was so tired I simply felt I couldn't continue without some rest, so we all agreed that if I just laid down and tried to rest my contractions would probably slow down and we would have to sort of start again later, but it was worth it to me. Our midwife left the house, because I had not progressed any further yet.

My amazing husband stayed with me and from 8:30pm-almost 11:00pm I laid in bed and he would massage my back between contractions (which were irregular at this point) and I would sleep between them. I was very relaxed and praying that the Lord would take away my labor pains and just let me sleep! My contractions were not getting more intense or regular - in fact I really was able to rest and expected for this marathon of a birthing process to continue for many many hours once the sun came up.

at 10:45PM I told my husband that I needed to go to the bathroom, so he helped me get up, and I tried to go without any success... but in trying to get back to the bed I realized that something was different. "Call the midwife" I said.... He didn't know why I wanted to call her, so he just put it on speaker phone and set it in front of me on the bed where I was standing - She answered at 10:48PM and I simply said "I think I need to push now" - "WHAT? OK, I'll be right there!" she said

It was one of those moments when your body simply knows what to do even though you have no idea. I didn't want to give birth upstairs in our bedroom, but moving even a step at a time seemed impossible. I somehow made it from our bedroom, down the hall, (almost thought she was going to come there) down the stairs, and in my nightgown and all into the birthing pool.... As I stepped into the birthing pool in one push our daughter's head emerged... My husband was telling me to take slow deep breaths... Of course these seemed impossible... and there was a LOT of praying going on. - He asked me "What do I do??" Seeing the midwife's equipment was all set up on the counter just next to us, and I said - open the nose sucker thing (it was really my only clear thought that moment) - he opened it and I said "let go of me and catch the baby" and at that moment (11:07PM) our daughter was born into the birthing pool, my husband caught her and gave her to me, and she was born without complication or issues.

Our midwife arrived at 11:11PM

I know many people have issues with home births, and I have to tell you I did not plan to have such an exciting end to our story, but we know that God was there with us, protecting each of us and paving the way for us to be a complete family together.