This saying comes in many forms” “You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make him drink” and “You Gotta Wanna” are two that quickly come to mind. We see people who we see as having real problems and we try to help out, many times, to no avail. It seems they really don’t want to or won’t change. We say: “Why can’t they see it?” or “Why won’t they change? It is intuitive.”

Change only comes when a person really wants to and is willing to pay the price of that change. Sometimes the price is as simple as getting out of a comfort zone, called a rut by some. Fear of failure, fear of the unknown, worrying about what friends might think are all excuses given for not making the changes. Many people publicly state they want to change but are, down inside, willing to do what it takes.

Many of us want to and try hard to change others. The reality is that we can’t change anyone. We can explain the benefits all day long with no success. In reality, the only person we can change is us.

This doesn’t mean we should give up on folks. All we can do is plant a seed. We can fertilize and water it but we aren’t in control of whether it grows to maturity. It is out of our hands. It is amazing how some of the seeds we plant take years to mature, not springing to life until conditions and situations are just right.

We shouldn’t give up trying but, shouldn’t despair if it doesn’t work, particularly in our timing. I see our job to be to one of providing opportunities without becoming frustrated if they are not taken advantage of. We need to be able to smile, say thank you and move on. Success comes when one person takes advantage and improves his or her life. We will never win them all no matter how hard we try.

Have a great week.

Jim