Attitude Adjustment
David received a parrot for his birthday. This parrot was fully grown with a bad attitude and terrible vocabulary. David tried hard to change the bird’s attitude. He was constantly saying polite words and playing soft music, he did anything he could think of. Nothing worked. When he yelled at the bird, the bird got worse.
Finally, in a moment of desperation, David put the parrot in the freezer. For a few moments he heard the bird squawking, kicking and screaming and then suddenly, there was quiet.
David was frightened that he might have actually hurt the bird and quickly opened the freezer door. The parrot calmly stepped out onto David’s extended arm and said, “I’m sorry that I might have offended you with my language and actions, so I ask for your forgiveness. I will try to correct my behavior.”
David was astounded at the bird’s change in attitude, and was about to ask what had changed him when the parrot said, “May I ask what the chicken did?”
The Burglar
Late one night, a burglar broke into a house he thought was empty. He tiptoed through the living room but suddenly he froze in his tracks when he heard a loud voice say: “Jesus is watching you!”
Silence returned to the house, so the burglar crept forward again. “Jesus is watching you,” the voice boomed again.
The burglar stopped dead again. He was frightened. Frantically, he looked all around. In a dark corner, he spotted a bird cage and in the cage was a parrot.
He asked the parrot, “Was that you who said Jesus is watching me?”
“Yes”, said the parrot.
The burglar breathed a sigh of relief, and asked the parrot, “What’s your name?”
“Clarence,” said the bird.
“That’s a dumb name for a parrot,” sneered the burglar. “What idiot named you Clarence?”
The parrot said, “The same idiot who named the Rottweiler Jesus.”
Answers
Four Walls and a bird
A penguin. If all four walls face north the house must be at the southernmost point of the earth.
Birds in two trees
The solution is 7 and 5.
7 on the apple tree, and 5 on the magnolia tree
