Next Site Tour: Sun
. September 23
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Cohousing: A Solution for Loneliness
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According to former Surgeon General Vivek Murthy, our society is experiencing an epidemic of loneliness. It turns out that in this ‘wired’ age, where most of us are "always on and connected,” more of us are feeling socially isolated than ever before. That is bad news for Americans’ health; researchers have found that ‘chronic loneliness’ represents as great a risk for heart disease, stroke, and other serious illness as smoking and obesity. To read more about the research, click here
:
Loneliness rivals obesity, smoking as health risk
The converse, however, is also true: “greater social connection is associated with 50% lower odds of early death.” One source of greater social connection is cohousing, small village-style housing developments which typically include 25-30 individual homes clustered around a shared outdoor area and a “common house,” with a large community kitchen and dining hall, a library, a crafts room, a yoga or exercise room, a children’s play area, several guest rooms, and more. Residents can enjoy the privacy of their own homes, and still connect easily with neighbors when they want to, just chatting on their front porches, working in the community garden, sharing a meal in the common house, or taking part in other activities in the shared outdoor and indoor areas.
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Although still small in the U.S., cohousing is growing, with nearly as many new communities in the planning stages (142) as there are existing ones (165). In fact, If you google loneliness and cohousing, many pages of links pop up, to network news stories, Ted Talks, journal and newspaper articles, blog posts, and more. Here is one Ted Talk (first title) and three interesting articles. Click on any link to see the full article or video:
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Community Stories:
Bob Oyafuso
One member of Fair Oaks Ecohousing, Bob Oyafuso, spoke with us recently about the social isolation he experienced after his wife Fran was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s Disease, and how that led him to find cohousing. At a lecture given by cohousing architect Chuck Durrett, who designed the Fair Oaks development, Bob asked if members of a cohousing community would accept his wife-see her as a person, despite her illness. Durrett told Bob about a different cohousing community that had warmly accepted a family with an autistic child and added that the cost of caring for the child was actually reduced because of support from the community. That conversation was pivotal in Bob’s decision to join Fair Oaks EcoHousing.
In seeking support, Bob also joined a memoir writing group for caregivers and began writing about his experience with Fran. What follows is an excerpt from Bob’s memoir. We are sharing it here as a way to introduce one of our members. We hope you will find it as moving as we did.
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The Color of Alzheimer’s
Maui no ka oi
by Bob Oyafuso
When I began to find her underwear alongside pasta shells in the food pantry I found it amusing. When dishes and silverware were no longer sorted and aligned I began to worry. When I saw her medication scattered across the counter like blobs of paint on her artist palette, I knew something was terribly wrong.
‘Count backwards from 100. What City are you in? Who is the president of the United States?’ It did not take Dr Westlake long to arrive at a diagnosis--Alzheimer’s. I wasn’t surprised; Fran’s brother and mother were afflicted with dementia and I knew she was at risk. Nonetheless I felt confident that with support from 5 grown children and 13 grown grandchildren she would be well cared for, whatever the course of the disease.
That confidence was soon shattered as the full manifestations of Alzheimer’s began to unfold. When Fran was hungry she grabbed a dog biscuit. When she was thirsty a bottle of leather cleaner would do as well as Crystal Geyser. Constant vigilance was necessary when Fran was awake. Food preparation was not an option and I did the bare minimum with housekeeping, yard work, laundry and shopping. Little did I know there was worse to come.
Fran’s walk became a shuffle and when I took her downstairs, I had to walk backwards and tell her which foot to move and where to place it. Once I woke up and found her on the floor; she had gone to the bathroom and fallen on her return to bed. What would happen if she tried to walk downstairs when I was asleep? I immediately installed a latch on our bedroom door.
My biggest challenge was keeping Fran engaged. Finding a project to hold her interest was a vexing problem because there were so few things that she could do. When she was bored she would cry out “give me something to do!” and I was beside myself with grief because I couldn’t comfort her.
Most insidious was the damage done by loss of memory. On one occasion her body language told me that she had something important to tell me. She kept trying to speak- “I have... what is... our bed . . . we don’t ...” finally she blurted, “I can’t get the words out!”
I took her in my arms and we both began to cry.
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A friend suggested I join an Alzheimer’s support group led by Frances Kakugawa, who was her mother’s caregiver and an accomplished author. With little to go on except confidence in my friend, I joined Kakugawa’s group and with the support of seasoned caregivers, I finally found my voice and the confidence to care for Fran as I saw fit.
When I took Fran on walks, she would always pause to admire the beauty of trees and the color of flowers. She couldn’t walk by a garden in bloom and not pay homage with her artist’s heart. Taking her to Maui became my priority.
I knew Maui’s landscape of pink, red and yellow Hibiscus, and towering golden canopies of Poinciana and Shower trees, would appeal to Fran the artist, who once marched from one art gallery to the next in Florence until exhausted, and who has always expressed and received joy visually, through colors, shapes, and patterns.
Despite criticism- “what’s the point if she won’t remember anything?” I went ahead with plans. It wasn’t easy. What if Fran refused to wear seat belts? Would she stay in her seat for 5 hours? Would she feel comfortable in the small cramped bathroom?
I booked First Class tickets to Maui, received a prescription for tranquilizers from Dr. Westlake, then off we went. At 30,000 feet Fran took her seat belt off, telling me she wanted to get off. I pointed towards the window and said ‘wait until we land.’ This happened about 3 times, then the tranquilizers must have calmed her because the rest of the trip was uneventful.
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During our two weeks on Maui, I was Fran’s sole caregiver, in a location with no one to warn me should she wander. I was thrilled when Fran responded with delight to the huge pink, red, and golden hibiscus; if she wandered off I knew I would find her in a garden. I found additional respite when Fran sat for hours, totally absorbed by the constant wash of the blue Pacific or the mouthing of hungry gold and red koi in a garden pond. During these times I would lock arms with Fran and doze off for some badly needed sleep.
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Introducing our Newest Members:
Sylvia and Anabel Worden
Sylvia and Anabel are a mother and daughter who currently live in Orange County, California. Hopefully, Sylvia’s 25-year old son, Ira Bigelow, will be a frequent visitor to Fair Oaks EcoHousing. Ira currently lives in Taiwan, where he teaches English. The move to Fair Oaks will bring the family much closer to Marcia, Sylvia’s 91-year old mother, who lives on her own in rural Chico.
Sylvia grew up in San Diego and Chico, CA, and attended St. Luke’s Hospital School of Nursing in San Francisco. She has lived in many places, including Chicago, New York City, and Gainesville, Florida, where she earned her master’s degree in a women’s health nurse practitioner program. As a nurse practitioner, Sylvia spent most of her career working with immigrants and other low-income women. She retired recently from Orange Coast College in Costa Mesa, where she was the student health center administrator.
Sylvia’s prior experiences with community life include several years in the family housing apartments at the University of Florida, and shared meals and activities while living on a rainforest research station in rural Costa Rica when her son was a preschooler.
Anabel was born in Yue Yang, in the Hunan Province of China. Sylvia adopted Anabel in 2000 at the age of 17 months, and brought her son Ira on the adoption trip to China. Anabel has overcome many difficulties in her life, but still faces some disabilities. She is currently attending a work training program through her school district. Anabel’s dog, Baby, is a certified service dog.
Here are some fun facts about Sylvia and Anabel: Sylvia took a 2-year mid-career break from nursing and worked as a flight attendant for an international airline. She studies Chinese language and culture and can make tea according to Chinese tradition. Anabel loves to ride horses and she attends a horse-themed summer camp every summer. She loves music—her Chinese name is Jia Yin, which means “beautiful music.”
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Book Recommendation
: Feed Your People: Big-Batch, Big-Hearted Cooking and Recipes to Gather Around
by Leslie Jonath, 18 Reasons, and Photographer Molly De Coudreaux
This gorgeous new cookbook, designed for those cooking for a crowd of 20 and up, is perfect for cohousing members and for anyone who enjoys cooking for friends and family. It features recipes from legendary San Francisco chefs, like Alice Waters, Deborah Madison, and Otto Ottolenghi, among others, representing a wide variety of cuisines. Readers praise the detailed instructions, the make-ahead tips, and the single and double batch versions of recipes. The beautiful full page photographs are both instructive and and inspiring, conveying the magic, warmth and satisfaction of feeding people you care about.
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Community News
Find Out About Our Community
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Join us on September 21 for an evening of coffee & conversation
Ever wondered what cohousing is all about, or if it might be a good fit for you? If so, you are warmly invited to join us at 7 pm on September 21 for an informal evening of coffee and conversation about cohousing. Held at the home of future Fair Oaks EcoHousing residents Bob and Karen Anderson, 5001 Shamrock Drive, Fair Oaks, CA, 95628. Please rsvp to Karen by phone or text at 916-947-3070 or email:
fresianlass@gmail.com
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Where We Are Now: Foundations Poured
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Foundation: From the Latin
fundare
"to lay a bottom.” By the late 14th century, “Foundation” gained the sense of "establishment of an institution with an endowment to pay for it.” The sense of "solid base of a structure" is from the early 15th century.
At the construction site of Fair Oaks EcoHousing, the foundations have been poured for buildings #2 and #6. These foundations represent both real structural foundations, and symbolic representation of the ecologically based institution we are “ Founding.”
The lumber has been delivered so that the foundation framing of the other buildings can begin. Since the construction began, most of the work was below ground level. Now, as the foundations are poured, and set, framing will begin. Already we can have a better sense of the beauty of the setting and the scale of the buildings. It is easy to imagine walking the lanes and interacting with our neighbors.
John Szostek
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Where We are Going . . . View from the Entrance
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Be Part of Our Community:
Just A Few Homes Left!
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As construction progresses on our project,
Fair Oaks EcoHousing has only a few homes left. Call now to learn about cohousing, tour the site, and reserve a 2 bedroom flat (last one!), a 2 + townhome, or our most spacious model, a 2 story 4 bedroom townhome that is now available.
Key features for all include:
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Large windows, allowing natural light to penetrate deep into the home and make rooms feel light and spacious
• Open design for living and dining areas, providing more space and flexibility in use
• Modern kitchen
with ample storage and counter space
• Porch or deck for visiting with neighbors
The downstairs 2 bedroom flat features:
• Wide doors and open space in the unit
• Easy access to yard, porch, and common areas
The 2-story 2+ bedroom townhome includes:
• Bathroom upstairs and downstairs
• "Plus" room, ideal for a home office, craft room, or play room
The 4 bedroom townhome includes:
• Spacious upstairs master bedroom with a full master bath and walk-through closet
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First-floor bedroom, perfect for a home office, an aging family member, or single-floor downstairs living
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Large wrap-around porch that provides roomy outdoor living space
Like all homes in Fair Oaks EcoHousing, these homes are designed for energy efficient living, with eco-friendly construction and high-quality fixtures and finishes.
Fair Oaks EcoHousing is a pedestrian-friendly village for residents of all ages, with a centrally-located clubhouse, pool and spa, and garden.
The location is close to Fair Oaks Village and the American River Parkway, with many nearby dining and entertainment options, plus easy access to the freeway.
If you are interested in learning about the community, please see below for information on the site tour.
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Fair Oaks EcoHousing Site Tours
Sunday September 23 at
10:30am
Fair Oaks EcoHousing will be a neighborhood of 30 homes on 3.7 acres in Fair Oaks, CA, 18 miles east of downtown Sacramento. Come see the site and our architectural plans, and meet members at an upcoming cohousing informational meeting. Kids are welcome.
Act now! Fair Oaks EcoHousing has only a few homes left. If you are interested, please come to the informational meeting and site tour. Other h
omes do become available on occasion. If you like what you see at the tour, please join our interest list to be notified of new availability.
To go on the Site Tour, meet at 10:30 am
at the
Fair Oaks Coffeehouse in Fair Oaks Village,
at 10223 Fair Oaks Blvd
, at the intersection with Park Drive. Look for us on the side of the Coffeehouse, in the patio area or in the building at the back. We will introduce you to the project, and then we can carpool to the site.
The event will last about an hour and a half, with an optional lunch afterwards at the Siam Patio Restaurant or the Smokey Oaks Tavern. If you can't make it Saturday, the next tour is Saturday, October 13. Please RSVP below. Thanks!
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Want to Learn More About Fair Oaks & Sacramento?
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Pictured: Fair Oaks Village, Fair Oaks Theatre Festival, Floating the American River.
Click below for useful links, there's a lot to keep us busy here!
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