" The moment you accept responsibility for EVERYTHING in your life is the moment you can change ANYTHING in your life. " - Hal Elrod
November 7, 2018
Fortieth Edition
Greetings!

“The one who cares the most is the one who will make changes.”

Children who have suffered from early childhood trauma greatly lack cause and effect thinking. Along with this they have presumptive entitlement issues. These two things combined make a child believe that they can get away with doing anything - or nothing. They believe you as the parent or caregiver should do everything for them - creating what is called 'learned helplessness'. This is a vicious cycle that must be broken for healing to happen.

The more helpless a child acts and the more a parents takes over doing things for their child, the more helpless the child feels and the less they will do. Everyone gets frustrated! Stop the cycle now by handing over the units of concern to your child to help their brain get stronger and healthier.

Enjoy!

With love,


Goal for Parent: To hold ZERO units of concern and let the child take responsibility for their actions and belongings.
 
Goal for Child: To hold all TEN units of concern and work on changing their behaviour for the better.
 
How it works: Every action/item has 10 units of concern.
 
A child’s chore has 10 units; they need to be concerned about completing it A+, fast & snappy, right the first time, the adult’s way.
 
When parents remind their child to complete it and care more than the child does, they begin picking up units of concern. Once parents hold all 10 units the child isn’t worried about being responsible for it anymore.
The child begins to think, “If I don’t do it Mom/Dad will remind me, so I don’t need to worry about it.” , “I don’t need to remember to do my homework/laundry/chore, because Mom/Dad will worry about it for me.”
Let's say a child's school back pack has 10 units of concern. You want your child to learn to remember to take it to school each morning with no reminders.

In the morning your child is getting ready and you say, "Don't forget your back pack." Not a big reminder, but you picked up one unit of concern. You remind them again, "Don't forget to take your back pack today." "Make sure you get your bag before going outside." The more reminders you give the more units of concern you hold.

If you hold 6 units, your kiddo only has 4 units to worry about. "Here's your back pack, make sure you carry it out to the car." You now hold 8 or 9 units.

"You forget your back pack again" - and you pick it up and bring it to your child. You now have all 10 and your child isn't the least bit concerned about their back pack anymore - there are no more units of concern for them to hold.

The life lesson of forgetting their back pack is what we call a logical consequence . They will have to figure out how to tell their teacher they didn't bring their bag, how to turn in homework or a project that is sitting in it at home, and what to do about not having their books with them.

Letting your child figure all of this out is an amazing brain builder and confidence booster. Cheer them on when they find a solution and empathize with them when they tell you how hard the day was.

Eventually they will figure it out. I promise.
Things that have Units of Concern
  • Chores
  • Personal belongings
  • Homework
  • School items
  • School assignments

  • Hygiene
  • The 6 Jobs of Strong Kids
  • Clothing
  • Laundry
  • Money-earning for debt payment
Put together your Emergency Kit today:
  • Red Nose (US) (Canada)
  • Small mason jar
Get some red electrical tape and put a cross on the front of the jar: red cross medical use - laughter is the best medicine!
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"For I know the plans I have for you", declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you HOPE and a FUTURE."
Jeremiah 29:11