The Covid-19 Coronavirus burst upon us suddenly and relentlessly only a few short months ago. In that time it has upended the world we lived in, were comfortable with, and drew strength, joy, and comfort from. Each of us has had to somehow make our way in this stunning new environment. What has been guiding me during this difficult time, within this liminal space we all inhabit, for now and the foreseeable future? Several things and people guide me. Among them: the discipline of gratitude, the practice of mindfulness, and our Holy Comforter church community.
About 7 years ago, I began writing a daily gratitude list and posting it on Facebook. Feeling grateful and marking it in some way had become increasingly important. I loved writing the lists. I was encouraged, and still am, by the responses of people who read them.
With some exceptions, I post these every day. They come out freeform—no rules. Certain things or people I include daily: God—the foundation and love of my heart, mind and soul. Family and friends—ever dear, ever essential in my life. Colors—when I was 8 an aha moment came when I really understood color, realized how much I loved it and saw colors as such a gorgeous gift from the Creator for our world. Animals appear because they are fascinating, enchanting, and, often, our cherished companions. A particular country is included each day because every country is peopled by men, women, and children created and loved by God.
Beyond that, anything goes! There is just so much to be grateful for—there will never be an end to it for me. Including what brings pain or other uncomfortable feelings remains hard. I decided to add difficult things after reading in more than one place that finding gratitude within them helps us grow as people, in a way frees us when we can be grateful for anything and everything that comes into our lives. That part is definitely a work in progress.
Here is the list for a recent date:
God, life, family and friends, electricity, beautiful warm afternoon, sunlight, two Zoom meetings with church friends, Calm and Insight Timer meditation apps, mindfulness, purple and magenta and lime green, finishing the thought-provoking apocalyptic trilogy by Hugh Howey, waking up this morning, not obsessively reading news on Covid-19, Bangladesh, leadership by governors and mayors and city council members, N-95 protective masks and clothing for hospital workers, people wearing masks as they go about, laughter and humor shared with friends today, my home, the sounds of spring and summer frogs and toads, buffalo sunning on the beaches in California.
The discipline of being grateful and of writing this list has changed me. I am more aware throughout the day and night of what I’m grateful for. I live more in each minute of the day and night too, spending less time in the past or future, which can often cause regret or worry. I feel resilient and happier more of the time. If you haven’t already, write a gratitude list, whether you “publish” it or not.
Secondly, I daily practice mindfulness, expressed through one or more meditations from the Calm and Insight Timer apps, and some days through Centering Prayer. Centering Prayer is available weekly from our church on Zoom, Mondays at 1:30 p.m. These habits, ingrained over time, help me be sensitive to what I understand are God’s insights and suggestions for me. I can also manage medical conditions better and deal more effectively with the impacts of the Covid-19 Pandemic. The Insight Timer app offers 400 interesting and insightful courses, ranging from 7 to 50 days in length with each class about 10–15 minutes long. There are now courses and individual meditations specifically designed for use during the Pandemic.
Engaging in these meditations and courses and prayers, and writing my gratitude lists, can free my mind, heart, and spirit to look for and respond to ways to help others locally, nationally, and internationally. They help get me beyond myself and my own fears. I feel and remain less hopeless and despairing about the virus and its impact on people and the economy.
Lastly, the Holy Comforter community has, since 1993, been a balm, a joy, a source of delight, friendship, and inspiration. I love all the interesting, creative ways our clergy, staff, and fellow parishioners are reaching out to us during this frightful pandemic. Most days I am zooming to join Holy Comforter friends in group settings I was part of face to face at church for years, and in new ones developed more recently. I am very grateful for the loving kindness, the goodness of heart and spirit and shared life together, despite our not being able to gather in person.
The laughter, the sharing of insights and concerns, the prayers for one another and for the larger world, the outreach projects of food and other gifts are all beautiful ways to strengthen and comfort us. From us, we reach out to others beyond ourselves. This pandemic is affecting every person, every animal, and every thing we know. The future is not clear. Yet, gloriously, we are not alone, not without resources. The power and love, the saving grace and inspiration of God, Jesus, Holy Spirit, and the Great Cloud of Witnesses are with us all every minute, every hour, every day, whatever may come.
Judith Bowers
