Writing "True Love Ways" in the Early Summer
|
|
 |
My writing space
|
|
The beginning of this summer has offered some relaxed times for me to concentrate on writing a new book about couple relationship, tentatively entitled "True Love Ways: Relationship as Psycho-Spiritual Development." In my many years of working with couples in Dialogue Therapy and with parents in relationship to their adult children, I have come to feel that we are very confused about love, especially the kind of love that is between equals, is mutual, and rests on give-and-take: what I call "personal love" or "true love". This is a love that is different from romance and from biological attachment bonds. Personal love is much more demanding and challenging than a secure attachment bond.
Attachment bonds play a role in personal love in an intimate relationship, but only a small role in the vast array of psychological and spiritual demands required in this new kind of love. Living together over time with someone who is meant to be your best friend, your co-parent, your business partner, and your sexual partner is a radical new endeavor for which the old archetypes and myths and the reductive biological models do not provide adequate guidance. In today's marriage, you fall in love (an idealizing projection based on something unconscious within you) with a stranger whom you then commit to in a relationship in which you cannot dominate, control, or break the trust. Furthermore, in such a marriage, you must also remain true to yourself -- your needs and your values -- or the relationship will not thrive. Personal love breaks all the rules that marriage has followed for centuries. It demands that a space be created in which both partners can grow and develop psychologically and spiritually.
As I am working on this new book, I will also be going out to give presentations and training in Dialogue Therapy, and on the issues and problems of Personal Love. I am very excited about this new book. I believe I have something very new to say about love and its obstacles. Dialogue Therapy encompasses the wisdom of psychoanalysis and Mindfulness in offering couples a way to handle the disillusionment and power struggles that are not only an ordinary part of love between equals, but spur partners towards the necessary psychological and spiritual development they must engage individually, and as couple, in order to succeed in holding onto the richness of this new kind of love in their lives. Stay tuned.
|
July 18 @ 10 am & 1:45pm:
Jung Center, New York
"The Present Heart: Love, Loss and Discovery"
In this program, we will answer the question, "What is love, anyway?" In the process, we will talk about desire, romance, harmful idealizations and enmeshments with our partners, children, parents and friends. We will talk about loss in the context of the Buddha's teachings about reality, presenting a new context for personal love as a spiritual practice of deep acceptance of the human condition.
|
|
Friend of Polly: Michael W. Taft
|
Michael W. Taft is a meditation teacher, bestselling author, and neuroscience junkie. As a mindfulness coach, he specializes in secular, science-based mindfulness training in groups, corporate settings, and one-on-one sessions. Michael is the author of several books, including The Mindful Geek, as well as the editor of such books as Hardwiring Happiness by Rick Hanson and the upcoming The Science of Enlightenment by Shinzen Young.
Do you sometimes struggle with difficult or overwhelming emotions? Do you experience anxiety or depression? Do you have trouble understanding what other people are feeling? Learn to use mindfulness meditation to help with these and other emotional challenges with Mindful Emotions Training. This 4-week online course is taught by Michael and you will learn how to re-engineer your relationship with your emotions to enhance your work, relationships, and your well-being.
LEARN MORE and SIGN UP
|
|
