"As a husband, I'm required to lead: I'm the head of my wife and her life is a reflection of my leadership. This is an area I struggle in; mainly because I have a tendency to be selfish or lazy. It's not that I don't love my wife, I DO. It's not that I don't care about her feelings, spiritual growth, or happiness; I DO. It's mostly because at any given time, I care more about myself and my needs. I've treated leadership like it's something I have to maintain...like a haircut. When it needs my attention, I get it cut, but figure I have time to ignore it until it's time for another haircut. Not so in marriage; God expects me to lead her 24/7/365. I haven't been doing a good job leading my wife; and the hot-cold, on again-off again, quality of our marriage testifies to that fact. I don't think I'm a bad husband, the job I've done can be considered "good enough". But God will never be happy with good enough, and neither should I. I don't think I've done a great job as the spiritual head of my marriage; praying with and for my wife; setting, maintaining, and living by God's standards. If I take an honest look at how I've done I can't help but be dissatisfied. The key to leading well in my marriage is to know that God is there with me; which should give me the strength and courage to love her with a sacrificial love, the love Christ has for His bride, His church."
The statistics for law enforcement marriages are shocking -- upwards of 85 percent! Why? Perhaps the biggest reason is adultery (and not just sexual adultery but also making a "mistress" of "the job").
Let's be clear -- God HATES divorce (sin) and it is NEVER His will. Accordingly, a big part of what we do as a ministry is to come alongside one another to support our marriages and provide solid, biblical resources to help not only save our marriages but also see them thrive (be sure to check out the law enforcement marriage resources I've posted on our website).
So where do we begin? Let's start by establishing a foundation built on a biblical rock:
(1) God's design for marriage is one man, one woman, for life. No exceptions! Decide today that divorce is NOT an option.
(2) We need the power of the Holy Spirit to protect our marriages and make them successful, and the indwelling power of the Holy Spirit ONLY comes by receiving the Holy Spirit when we are born again into a life-saving/life-changing personal relationship with God in Christ (click on The Indwelling of the Holy Spirit).
Are you right with Him today? Is Christ your Lord and Savior? If not, then let me URGE you to make that decision NOW! How? Go to my website and click on the links under KNOW GOD? (AKA TRUE "OFFICER SAFETY"). Without living totally surrendered to Christ we are already far behind the proverbial 8-ball when it comes to our marriages (and everything else, for that matter).
(3) For those who are not married, we must NOT compromise by being unequally yoked to an unbeliever (2 Corinthians 6:14). If you are already married and your spouse does not know Christ as Lord and Savior, then be in daily prayer for him/her while setting the biblical example that Vince laid out for us as husbands. See What should a Christian do if he or she is married to an unbeliever?.
(4) Biblical repentance means turning away from all sin (a change of mind). In the context of protecting our marriages, that includes turning away from all adultery, inappropriate activity and flirting with members of the opposite sex, pornography, etc.
(5) If, like many of us, you've already been divorced or have been living in sin outside of God's plan (sexual relations outside the bonds of biblical matrimony is NOT God's will -- period), then repent and get right with Him NOW. Know that our loving Father is true to forgive and restore the truly repentant, regardless of how egregious your past may be (I'm living proof of this promise. Our hope is in Him and our Lord is truly the "God of the second chances". Click on forgiveness and restoration.
Is any of this easy? No. Possible? Absolutely (Philippians 4:13)!
And then what? For starters, it is essential that you:
-- Regularly attend (together) a solid, Bible-teaching church (not "optional") AND be in iron sharpens iron fellowship with other Christian couples (the reason that we strongly encourage couples to regularly attend a Christian law enforcement fellowship in your area). None? We'll help you start one. See FCPO Chapters.
-- Seek out biblical counseling if your marriage is in crisis. Your pastor can steer you in the right direction.
-- Spend DAILY time in Bible study and prayer.
-- Husbands, "pastor" your wife and family!
-- Have your priorities straight: God, marriage/family, and then "the job." Yes, in that order. Have you made your work your "god"?
Finally, know that Diana and I are here to help you (as are many others) and, again, we strongly encourage you to take advantage of the excellent law enforcement marriage resources on our website (scroll down the left side).
