"Most of us have forgotten how to play,
forgotten the joy of creativity.
Without joy, we run from pain.
Without creativity, we run from emptiness.
The faster we run, the more severe our addictions.
We cannot face our nothingness,
the ultimate anguish of living a life knowing
who we are not,
not who we are."
- Marion Woodman
The image and words above capture the essence of what I have been immersed in lately. I arrived back home in early October after my most recent trip in a whirlwind year of travel. Two days later, I was leveled by a nasty respiratory virus that had me gasping for air and unable to do any of the many items on my to do list or calendar. I had
thought I would come home and simply continue doing what I was doing before I left.
But my body had other plans.
For over a week, I slept for only ten minutes at a time and concentrated all of my attention on breathing and coughing. All of my aggressive plans to get SO.MUCH.DONE. went away.
I didn't "try" to do anything. I completely surrendered to what my body was going through. I felt the air coming into and going out of my lungs, noticing the quality of each breath as it changed from day to day. I made no plans and no To Do lists. I was, as purely as I have ever been, completely present with the reality of my body's experience. It was as if I were receiving a treatment prescribed by my body. I got quiet and listened.
And in the space of silence, I saw new images. I felt a new rhythm and remembered in the core of my body what led me to begin painting, collage, and "sketchbooking" almost five years ago, after a lifetime of never considering myself an artist. I stumbled upon the name "Marion Woodman" and opened up a whole world of her writings and stories about the awakening of the Conscious Feminine. While I have heard and received the essence of these teachings from several different teachers during recent years, it is her poetic imagination and her particular way of using words that speak directly to my soul at this time.
I have been reading one short quote each day from Marion Woodman's book,
Coming Home To Myself: Reflections for Nurturing a Woman's Body & Soul
, a distillation of her most salient writings over a lifetime of exploring the deeper mysteries of the human soul's journey and seeking meaning in her experience of life, through her work as
an English/drama teacher and Jungian analyst and author.
Last week I brought these quotes into my figure drawing practice, which you can see and read about here.
Since emerging from the stillness, I did not go back to my original plans or pick up where I left off. I am moving my body more mindfully (translated most of the time as "slower and smaller"). I have also renewed my daily commitment to morning yoga and meditation practice in nature. I am so fortunate to live so close to relatively untouched nature, yet I had allowed the concept of busyness to prevent me from making contact with the earth every day. When my bare feet and forehead touch the sand, and the thunderous crashing of waves reverberates inside my rib cage, I feel a shift, and I am home again.
The gift of my weeklong (st)illness has been a renewed clarity of vision about what is most important and why I practice my art. I now realize that the healing gifts of nature, creativity, contemplation, self-reflection, and real food are no longer optional or "nice to have" for the future of our planet. These are the medicine we seek, and we will each create a new way of life from the natural wisdom that rises up in our bodies when we nourish ourselves with these gifts.
What will be your new way?
I am excited to share more of the gifts of the creative process, and inspiration for practicing the art of being YOU, in the
coming year!
