News from Jude Bijou and Attitude Reconstruction™ Joy, Love, and Peace in 2017 
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Happy Thanksgiving
November 2017
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Students were asked to describe the Communication class that I taught earlier this month in ten words or less:
* Eye opening.
* Informative, inclusive, safe, relaxing.
* Interesting, useful, illuminating, involving, fun, helpful, stimulating.
* Class validated and expanded on themes of acceptance, joy, and
serenity that I've been exploring in my life.
* Enlightening, encouraging, strengthening, reassuring, clear,
positive, intelligent. Helpful.
* Better grasp on tools to communicate clearly and kindly.
* I liked this class and the tools I learned in it.
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For the third year in a row, the Attitude Reconstruction newsletter has an open rate in the top 10% of all Constant Contact users.
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Visit the website
and take the free survey to identify what's standing between you and more joy, love, and peace.
Attitude Reconstruction
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"How much should I pretend to care about how they make their yams?"
"Who tipped off the turkey?"
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Greetings dear ones,
This is the time of year that it is especially important to keep your perspective. Rather than beating a topic to death, such as Donald Trump, #metoo, or removing confederate statues, if we want to have a good holiday, we need to keep our focus on love, acceptance, and looking for our commonality.
This holiday season could really use a heavy dose of humanity and tolerance. Everyone of us needs to do our part, especially in the many potential challenges this time of year can present.
In honor of the season, this month's newsletter offers suggestions on how to create more joy, love, and peace over the holidays.
But first...
Four Articles of Interest, Some with Visuals
Next, for those of you that covet RVs and can imagine yourself on the road in a little rig of your own, the ultimate way to travel in style (Warning: save up your pennies).
Five Videos Guaranteed to Bring a Smile!
Here's Lis
a Kudrow and Jennifer Anniston, of Friends fame, cracking up while taping a show.
Third, since we've just had Veteran's day, a lovely video about
dogs being reunited with their masters and mistresses.
Here's an inspiring commencement speech about the value and symbolism of
making your bed.
Cartoons "borrowed" from the Cartoonbank.
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Nine Tips for a Joy, Love, and Peaceful Holiday
As soon as autumn comes, people's thoughts begin to shift to the holidays. Sometimes those thoughts are accompanied by difficult feelings such as depression, frustration, and anxiety. For some, the holidays conjure up unpleasant associations, such as the first event without Grandma there, or prickly family relationships. Then there are financial worries, the pressure to come up with gift ideas, dealing with school kids on vacation, to-do lists, and much more.
The goal is to feel joy, love, and peace so you can enjoy time off from work, and savor meaningful moments with your family and friends. After all, don't you want to feel the season, and share it?
Included below are simple ways to make your holiday more sane.
Get organized to feel more peace and less frantic.
Start by making a list of everything that needs to be done. Having things in writing helps minimize the anxiety and the associated feeling that there's just too much to do and not enough time. This list might include card writing, party organizing, shopping lists, cooking, work deadlines, travel/lodging arrangements, and family/friend communications. Once you have things written down, transfer the list onto a calendar. Now you can be sure nothing is overlooked. Get specific, designating time for each task, remembering to include quality time with loved ones. Also, list your projected expenses, set a realistic budget, and stick to it.
Focus on the present to reduce anxiety and increase peace.
Keep your attention in the here and now. When you're focused in the past or future, you'll likely feel overwhelmed and rushed. Create a holiday mantra to remind yourself of what is true. Repeat "One thing at a time. Everything will be all right." "Be here now." If you do, you will definitely feel more calm and enjoy the present.
Practice acceptance to feel more love.
Give up any self-centered, critical, nagging, sarcastic, finger-pointing expectations and judgmental ways. Accept and repeat frequently that people and situations are the way they are, not the way you want them to be. Remember and repeat this phrase when going to a party, or participating in family holiday traditions. Refrain from being negative, pay attention to the good and offer compliments.
Give appreciations and lend a hand to feel the love
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Express appreciations for thoughtful gestures, give praise, and practice random acts of kindness. Remember that these behaviors go a long way to foster feelings of connection. Do things that demonstrate caring and sharing. Ask "How can I help?" or "What can I do?" and then comply without argument and with a smile on your face.
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More of the Tips for a Great Holiday Season
Remember gift-giving is about love.
When you start to get tangled up in buying anxiety, ask yourself, What can I do that will show my love for this person? What will make them feel happy? Perhaps it's a month's moratorium on sarcasm, setting aside time to just listen to your partner without interrupting, a hand-drawn card with a message, a personalized poem, or a list or short video with ten reasons you love this person.
Prioritize your "yeses."
We can create real tangible joy by being true to ourselves, rather than go along because we "should" or that it's expected. Often we go on auto-pilot at holiday time with party invitations--and then beat ourselves up for overeating and overindulging. Strive for balance. Don't be afraid to speak up. See how saying "yes" really feels before you actually accept an invitation. Weigh the outlay of time and energy before agreeing to host or organize a house party, office party, book club party, or any other holiday event. Only agree if you really want to do it and have someone to help. Accomplishing this requires listening within to that sometimes silent voice, and aligning your actions with your heart's wisdom.
Be good to yourself.
Approach the holidays like an athlete in training. Pace yourself in terms of eating out and partying. Make sure you get lots of sleep. Make room for alone time to replenish your energy--even if it's just a short walk around the block. Think about how bad you would feel come January 1 if you gained 7 pounds. This holiday season, do it differently--avoid regrets.
Don't bury your emotions.
Handle your emotions physically and constructively. If you feel sadness, perhaps because this is the first year a loved one will not be in attendance, allow yourself a good cry. If you know you'll feel angry at the antics of Uncle Jim, pound or stomp out the anger when you're in a safe, private place. And if you feel freaked because you have too much to do, or you're bringing someone new home with you, allow yourself to shake and shiver before knocking on the door.
Remember the "message."
Whenever you find yourself feeling frantic, annoyed, or upset, remember the true meaning of the holidays. It can help to frequently repeat a "mantra" such as, "This time of year is about joy, love, and peace."
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Hey Jude!
My family is made up of major teasers and kidders. It's their humor, but I hate it.
People who communicate in that way are asking for trouble because they are "you-ing" other people, and their fun is at others expense. What they call humor has an angry edge and hurts other people, causing us to become cautious around them. It does not promote love. Remember that their anger is in charge and don't take it personally. Become the matador and let their comments go by. Definitely don't try to compete. It will only bring you down. Stick with talking about yourself and I promise that others will choose to hang around you.
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I'm sending you best wishes for a happy holiday season.
Thanks for reading this newsletter. If you have any feedback, suggestions about a newsletter theme, or general comments, I enjoy hearing from you, so feel free to write me at:
jude@AttitudeReconstruction.com
With love,
Jude
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