Lesson 198
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   A COURSE IN MIRACLES
  CH 18 "THE DREAM AND THE REALITY"
IV. LIGHT IN THE DREAM 
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26 If you knew Who walks beside you on this way which you have chosen, fear would be impossible. You do not know because the journey into darkness has been long and cruel, and you have gone deep into it. A little flicker of your eyelids, closed so long, has not yet been sufficient to give you confidence in yourselves, so long despised. You go toward love, still hating it and terribly afraid of its judgment upon you. And you do not realize that you are not afraid of love, but only of what you have made of it. You are advancing to love's meaning and away from all illusions in which you have surrounded it. When you retreat to the illusion, your fear increases, for there is little doubt that what you think it means is fearful. Yet what is that to us who travel surely and very swiftly away from fear?
 
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AUDIO: TEXT CH 18, IV
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A COURSE IN MIRACLES
WORKBOOK Part I
INTRODUCTION to LESSONS 181-200
Introduction 181-200
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Voice and Music by CIMS SonShip Radio 
 
*IAMBIC PENTAMETER* 

Our next few lessons make a special point
of firming up your willingness to make
your weak commitment strong, your scattered goals
blend into one intent. You are not asked
for total dedication all the time,
as yet. But you are asked to practice now
in order to attain the sense of peace
such unified commitment will bestow,
if only intermittently. It is
experiencing this which makes it sure
that you will give your total willingness
to following the way the course sets forth.     

Our lessons now are geared specifically
to widening horizons and direct
approaches to the special blocks which keep
your vision narrow and too limited
to let you see the value of our goal.
We are attempting now to lift these blocks,
however briefly. Words alone can not
convey the sense of liberation which
their lifting brings. But the experience
of freedom and of peace that comes as you
give up your tight control of what you see
speaks for itself. Your motivation will
be so intensified that words become
of little consequence. You will be sure
of what you want and what is valueless.     

And so we start our journey beyond words
by concentrating first on what impedes
our progress still. Experience of what
exists beyond defensiveness remains
beyond achievement while it is denied.
It may be there, but you cannot accept
its presence. So we now attempt to go
past all defenses for a little while
each day. No more than this is asked because
no more than this is needed. It will be
enough to guarantee the rest will come.    

  ~ The Original Handscript Notes

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A COURSE IN MIRACLES
DAILY LESSONS
SonShip Workbook
L e s s o n  198
Only my condemnation injures me. 

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*IAMBIC PENTAMETER* 
     
   Injury is impossible. And yet
   illusion makes illusion. If you can
   condemn you can be injured. For you have
   believed that you can injure, and the right
   you have established for yourself can be
   now used against you, till you lay it down
   as valueless, unwanted, and unreal.
   Then does illusion cease to have effects,
   and all it seemed to have will be undone.
   Then are you free, for freedom is your gift,
   and you can now receive the gift you gave.
 
   Condemn and you are made a prisoner.
   Forgive and you are freed. Such is the law
   which rules perception. It is not a law
   which knowledge understands, for freedom is
   a part of knowledge. To condemn is thus
   impossible in truth. What seems to be
   its influence and its effects have not
   occurred at all. Yet must we deal with them
   a while as if they had. Illusion makes
   illusion. Except one. Forgiveness is
   illusion that is answer to the rest.
 
   Forgiveness sweeps all other dreams away,
   and though it is itself a dream, it breeds
   no others. All illusions save this one
   must multiply a thousand-fold. But this
   is where illusions end. Forgiveness is
   the end of dreams because it is a dream
   of waking. It is not itself the truth.
   Yet does it point to where the truth must be,
   and give direction with the certainty
   of God Himself. It is the dream in which
   the Son of God awakens to HimSelf
   and to his Father, knowing They are One.
 
   Forgiveness is the only road that leads
   out of disaster, past all suffering,
   and finally away from death. How could
   there be another way, when this one is
   the plan of God Himself? And why should you
   oppose it, quarrel with it, seek to find
   a thousand ways in which it must be wrong;
   a thousand other possibilities?
  
   Is it not wiser to be glad you hold
   the answer to salvation in your hand?
   Is it not more intelligent to thank
   the One Who gives salvation, and accept
   His gift with gratitude? And is it not
   a kindness to yourself to hear His Voice
   and learn the simple lessons He would teach,
   instead of trying to dismiss His Words
   and substitute your own in place of His?|
 
   His Words will work. His Words will save. His Words
   contain all hope, all blessing and all joy
   that ever can be found upon this earth.
   His Words are born in God, and come to you
   with Heaven's love upon them. Those who hear
   His Words have heard the song of Heaven, for
   these are the words which all will merge as one
   at last. And as this one will fade away,
   the Word of God will come to take its place,
   for It will be remembered then and loved.|
 
   This world has many seeming separate haunts
   where mercy has no meaning, and attack
   appears as justified. Yet all are one;
   a place where death is offered to God's Son
   and to his Father. You may think They have
   accepted, but if you will look again
   upon the place where you beheld Their blood,
   you will perceive a miracle instead.
 
   How foolish to believe that They could die!
   How foolish to believe you can attack!
   How mad to think that you could be condemned,
   and that the holy Son of God can die!|
   The stillness of your Self remains unmoved,
   untouched by thoughts like these, and unaware
   of any condemnation which could need
   forgiveness. Dreams of any kind are strange
   and alien to the truth. Yet what but Truth
   could have a Thought that builds a bridge to truth
   which brings illusions to the other side?|
 
   Today we practice letting freedom come
   to make its home with you. The truth bestows
   these words upon your mind, that you may find
   the key to light, and let the darkness end:
 
   "Only my condemnation injures me.
    Only my own forgiveness sets me free."
 
   Do not forget today that there can be
   no form of suffering that fails to hide
   an unforgiving thought. Nor can there be
   a form of pain forgiveness cannot heal.|
  
   Accept the one illusion which proclaims
   there is no condemnation in God's Son,
   and Heaven is remembered instantly;
   the world forgotten, all its weird beliefs
   forgotten with it, as the Face of Christ
   appears unveiled at last in this one dream.
   This is the gift the Holy Spirit holds
   for you from God your Father. Let today
   be celebrated both on earth and in
   your holy home as well. Be kind to both,
   as you forgive the trespasses you thought
   them guilty of, and see your innocence
   shining upon you from the Face of Christ.
 
   Now is there silence all across the world.
   Now is there stillness where before there was
   a frantic rush of thoughts that made no sense.
   Now is there tranquil light across the face
   of earth made quiet in a dreamless sleep.
   And now the Word of God alone remains
   upon it. Only That can be perceived
   an instant longer. Then are symbols done,
   and everything you ever thought you made
   completely vanished from the mind which God
   forever knows to be His only Son.
 
   There is no condemnation in him. He
   is perfect in his holiness. He needs
   no thoughts of mercy. Who could give him gifts
   when everything is his? And who could dream
   of offering forgiveness to the Son
   of Sinlessness Itself, so like to Him
   Whose Son he is, that to behold the Son
   is to perceive no more, and only know
   the Father? In this vision of the Son,
   so brief that not an instant stands between
   this single sight and timelessness itself,
   you see the vision of yourself, and then
   you disappear forever into God.
 
   Today we come still nearer to the end
   of everything that yet would stand between
   this vision and our sight. And we are glad
   that we have come this far, and recognize
   that He Who brought us here will not forsake
   us now. For He would give to us the gift
   that God has given us through Him today.
   Now is it time for your deliverance.
   The time has come. The time has come today.
 
~ Original Handscript of ACIM ~ August 18, 1970
  
  ACIM OE WORKBOOK LESSON 198

 CIRCLE OF ATONEMENT ~ COMMENTARY
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ACIM Edmonton - Sarah's Reflections 
ACIM Edmonton, CA
LESSON 198
Only my condemnation injures me.
  
Sarah's Commentary:
 
Once again we see a Lesson that emphasizes our responsibility for what we feel, whether it is gratitude or injury. This Lesson affirms that we are not the victim of this world. In fact, the world can have no power over us, except that which we give it. No one can take our peace away. If we blame anyone for taking our peace, we need to recognize that we have actually chosen to throw it away. We justify our decision to do so by insisting that someone else is responsible for taking it from us. Isn't it hopeful to know the decision for peace rests with us? The power is in our own minds to choose Heaven or hell. Today, the Lesson is again about forgiveness, but we must remember that we only forgive what has not really happened, meaning we forgive our belief that there is a world outside of our own minds.
 
When all the blocks to love have been healed through forgiveness, we "perceive no more." (W.198.12.5) God takes the last step to bring us home, where there is only a state of Oneness with our Father. We could experience this now, but we don't because of our fear of our Father's love. Undoing this fear is a process of bringing our blocks to the light. Jesus exhorts us to be content with healing by forgiving all our brothers without exception because that is the way we become attuned to reality. "The Holy Spirit knows your part in the redemption, and who are seeking you and where to find them. Knowledge is far beyond your individual concern." (T.13.VIII.7.3-4) (ACIM OE T.13.II.7) We are to be content with our role in the redemption and not be concerned with goals for which we are not yet ready. We still have guilt to heal. We still have judgments to release or we would not be here. We still value our separation because we still value our existence, our specialness, and our uniqueness. While we still hold onto this image of ourselves, we will resist love. "Now you must learn that only infinite patience produces immediate effects." (T.5.VI.12.1) (ACIM OE T.5.VIII.81)
 
The guilt we are holding onto is due to our belief that we have sinned in separating from creation in the first place. Sin reminds us that we are separate, and separation affirms that we exist. There would be no existence without it. The end of separation does not depend on time. The end of separation can come today, as it is within our power to choose to end it. How far we open the door depends on how much fear we have. Our fear shows up as resistance. Remember the first Lesson of the Holy Spirit, which is "To have, give all to all." (T.6.V.A.) (ACIM OE T.6.V.a.) It takes us away from trying to get.
 
As we step onto this path of healing, the door opens to new awareness---though it may just open a crack at first. Conflict comes with this opening because we now hold two opposing thought systems in our minds. We are at the beginning step in reversing the perception of how we have always seen things. Our wrong-minded perceptions are now being turned right-side up. This conflicts with our current way of seeing. Thus, while we want what Holy Spirit has to offer, the conflict becomes more and more acute, as we have one foot in each world. This is painful and disorienting to us. It is like standing with one foot on the dock, while the other is in a boat moving out to the sea. However, when we release our wrong-minded perceptions, we will be easily carried down the river of truth. Our willingness and our desire will determine how quickly we let go of our fear and step into the thought system of the Holy Spirit, where all conflict is resolved. When we have forgiven it all, time will be no more.
 
Even though the separation did not actually happen and this is all a dream, we are reminded that we have to deal with the illusion as if it has happened. "What seems to be its influence and its effects have not occurred at all. Yet must we deal with them a while as if they had." (W.198.2.6-7) It is true that we are not actually here, but only dreaming our existence. We are not a body; we, therefore, can't be sick and can't die. In fact, there is no world. Even though it is all illusion, our way out of this illusion is through forgiveness of what has not happened. Forgiveness is an illusion as well, but it is the only illusion that ends all illusions. While duality does not exist in truth, to us it still seems to be our reality.
 
Jesus reminds us, "Injury is impossible," (W.198.1.1) which is clearly the case outside of this dream. In effect, there is nothing to forgive because nothing has happened. However, we do have the experience of an injury in the dream, and it has painful consequences for us while we believe all of this is real. We need to forgive what we believe has happened. If we condemn, retaliate, and attack instead of forgive, we demonstrate that the injury was real. Our illusory belief in the ego myth that we separated from God brings a thought system of sin and guilt. When this thought system is projected out, the result is an illusory world and illusory bodies. "And yet illusion makes illusion." (W.198.1.2)
 
"For you have believed that you can injure, and the right you have established for yourself can now be used against you, till you lay it down as valueless, unwanted and unreal." (W.198.1.4) We believe we can cause injury and therefore others have that same right. We believe that attack has power and sin demands punishment. Forgiveness shows us that the erroneous thought system of the ego can be undone. Then we see that attack has no value. When we have given up our "right" to attack and see no value in it, we will know our invulnerability. We will know that we can't be hurt. "Then does illusion cease to have effects, and those it seemed to have will be undone." (W.198.1.5) Forgiveness undoes the cause, which is the mind's belief in sin and guilt; and therefore, the effects are also undone. Without a cause, there can be no effects. Our interpretations of past misdeeds are replaced by the love we gave and what was given us. The story of the past is no longer relevant, and we recognize that it is not even true.
 
All the ways we try to fix our perceived problems in the world, all the ways we justify our "good" reasons to condemn others, and all the ways we even wish injury, punishment, and withdrawal of love from those whom we perceive have injured us are based on the belief that we are vulnerable, that we can be hurt, and that we have the right to retaliate in whatever form we choose. When we attack, we believe that attack will be used against us and when it is, we feel victimized. Why do we hold onto victimhood? Why do we hold onto hurt feelings of what others have seemingly done to us? In other words, why do we make our self-worth dependent on what others may see in us? Jesus reminds us that we do this to justify our attack on them. We look for this justification in our desire to judge, condemn, and attack, which continues the separation. Is this what we really want?
 
Jesus says that the unworthiness and other forms of self-attack that we hold onto in our minds are attributed by us to something that our parents or others did to us. This is our wish to make them guilty and responsible for our condition. "Whatever form they take, they are always an attack on the self to make the other guilty." (T.16.V.1.4) (ACIM OE T.16.VI.43) We accept this picture of ourselves to produce the illusion that others have hurt us, yet these attributes we experience within ourselves are what we have actually accepted as true about ourselves. In other words, it is a self-inflicted wound for which we crucify others outside of ourselves. It is an attack on myself to make the other guilty and is the basis for the special relationship. "Whenever you consent to suffer pain, to be deprived, unfairly treated or in need of anything, you but accuse your brother of attack upon God's Son. You hold a picture of your crucifixion before his eyes, that he may see his sins are writ in Heaven in your blood and death, and go before him, closing off the gate and damning him to hell." (T.27.I.3.1-2) (ACIM OE T.27.II.3)
 
"A sick and suffering you but represents your brother's guilt; the witness that you send lest he forget the injuries he gave, from which you swear he never will escape. This sick and sorry picture you accept, if only it can serve to punish him. The sick are merciless to everyone, and in contagion do they seek to kill. Death seems an easy price, if they can say, 'Behold me, brother, at your hand I die'." (T.27.I.4.3-6) (ACIM OE T.27.II.4)
 
While we pay a price for the pain that we hold onto, it may seem to us like a small price to pay if it "can serve to punish him." (T.27.I.4.4) (ACIM OE T.27.II.4) As long as we appear to be the victim of what others have done, we feel vindicated of our responsibility for our own issues. Yet, in effect, we are actually the victimizer, holding them guilty of what they have done to us. This is something to really take in and ponder. Unsettling as that may be, we are liberated when we see it is only our own condemnation that injures us.
 
Forgiveness leads us out. It points to the truth. It helps us remember the Song of Heaven. Time was made for us to learn that the answer to every problem is in our own minds. There is only one problem, and it is the belief in separation. We have been given the Answer and that is the Holy Spirit, Who will give us a whole new interpretation, correcting every misperception we hold about ourselves and about our brothers. Course-based forgiveness is not about seeing the sin in the other and forgiving it. It is not about overlooking anything real. It is, in fact, about releasing any condemning thoughts that we hold about the self or the other and offering these thoughts to the Holy Spirit for healing. We don't do the healing. We watch our minds for unforgiving thoughts, inquire deeply into their source, and put them on the inner altar. The Holy Spirit is the Healer, Who shines our misguided thoughts away. We bring our darkness to His Light.
 
When I believe that I have been hurt in any way, I remind myself that I can't be hurt. If what you say has hurt me, I remind myself that it is my guilt projected onto you. We will experience injury, as long as we justify and believe in our right to condemn. Jesus tells us again and again in the Course, "Forgiveness is the only road that leads out of disaster, past all suffering, and finally away from death." (W.198.4.1) Yet he asks, "And why would you oppose it, quarrel with it, seem to find a thousand ways in which it must be wrong; a thousand other possibilities?" (W.198.4.3)
 
We believe in this world that we made and justify its existence and argue for the correctness of our perceptions. We would rather be right than happy. "Is it not wiser to be glad you hold the answer to your problems in your hand? Is it not more intelligent to thank the One Who gives salvation, and accept His gift with gratitude? And is it not a kindness to yourself to hear His Voice and learn the simple lessons He would teach, instead of trying to dismiss His words, and substitute your own in place of His?" (W.198.5.1-3) This is what we do every time we invest in the illusion and try to fix things "out there" in the world. It is a losing proposition. What we have the power to do is to change our minds. No matter how much we invest in arranging the deck chairs on the Titanic, it will still sink. No matter how invested we are in trying to control things in the world, we will still lose.
 
I just have to look at my life to see how much I have tried to control things in the world to no avail. It has all unfolded as it will. Control is painful, but we do it in the mistaken belief we can have what we want by controlling people and events. It is beautifully illustrated in the movie Ruby Sparks, where a writer named Calvin produces an ideal romantic partner of his dreams who he can control only to learn that control does not bring him the love that he craves and is not the answer to his loneliness.
 
We can change our minds about the way we see the world, and we can respond to seeming attack by recognizing that we can't be hurt. Jesus reminds us, "Forgive, and you will see this differently." (W.193.3.7) While the forms of our problems change, the answer is always the same. The answer is forgiveness and letting go of the guilt in our own minds. Yet so often we choose not to apply it; instead, we argue with it, we avoid it, and we give ourselves reasons why forgiveness does not apply to the situation. This one, we tell ourselves, is beyond my ability to forgive; and this one is different and needs my own solution. Yet this is how we keep ourselves prisoner to the world.
 
No matter how guilty we feel or how much we think we have hurt others, the Self that we are is untouched. "The stillness of your Self remains unmoved, untouched by thoughts like these, and unaware of any condemnation which could need forgiveness." (W.198.8.1) This Self becomes apparent when we release our thoughts of anger, worry, specialness, and attack of any kind. Whether I attack you or me, only I can be injured by my condemnation. Even this is an untrue perception. Jesus tells us that what we are in truth remains untouched. Therefore, none of our experiences, no matter how seemingly horrendous, can touch the truth of what we are.
 
Today, we practice saying, "Only my condemnation injures me. Only my own forgiveness sets me free." (W.198.9.3-4) These are the words that have power when we apply them. "His words are born in God, and come to you with Heaven's love upon them." (W.198.6.4) There is no suffering or pain forgiveness cannot heal. Jesus asks us to recognize the importance of this to our lives in ending illusions, which means ending the suffering and pain of our lives. "Forgive and you will see this differently." (W.193.3.7) Even when I accept that and remind myself of the truth of these words, I recognize that I still try to fix and control situations in the world, manage circumstances and events in my life in my own way, believe I know my own best interests, and justify attack. It is such insanity. Forgiveness truly sets us free. "Then are you free, for freedom is your gift, and you can now receive the gift you gave." (W.198.1.6) By seeing the holiness in our brother, instead of condemnation, we come to know our own holiness, and thus we are taken to the end of time and space and delivered from bondage. We are set free. All we need do is to recognize how wrong we have been about everything and choose Jesus as our teacher in all circumstances.
 
(W.198.6.5) When we contemplate these words and live by them, they "contain all hope, all blessing and all joy that ever can be found upon this earth." (W.198.6.3) 
 
Love and blessings, Sarah 
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A Course in Miracles
TEXT
ACIM Original Edition
Chapter Eighteen

The Dream and the Reality  
   
   Voice and Music by Martin Weber, CIMS SonShip Radio
IV. Light in the Dream   

24 You who have spent your lives in bringing truth to illusion, reality to fantasy, have walked the way of dreams. For you have gone from waking to sleeping and on and on to a yet deeper sleep. Each dream has led to other dreams, and every fantasy which seemed to bring a light into the darkness but made the darkness deeper. Your goal was darkness in which no ray of light could enter. And you sought a blackness so complete that you could hide from truth forever in complete insanity. What you forgot was simply that God cannot destroy Himself. The light is in you. Darkness can cover it but cannot put it out.
 
25 As the light comes nearer, you will rush to darkness, shrinking from the truth, sometimes retreating to the lesser forms of fear and sometimes to stark terror. But you will advance because your goal is the advance from fear to truth. You know this. The goal which you accepted is the goal of knowledge, for which you signified your willingness. Fear seems to live in darkness, and when you are afraid, you have stepped back. Let us then join quickly in an instant of light, and it will be enough to remind you that your goal is light. Truth has rushed to meet you since you called upon it.
 
26 If you knew Who walks beside you on this way which you have chosen, fear would be impossible. You do not know because the journey into darkness has been long and cruel, and you have gone deep into it. A little flicker of your eyelids, closed so long, has not yet been sufficient to give you confidence in yourselves, so long despised. You go toward love, still hating it and terribly afraid of its judgment upon you. And you do not realize that you are not afraid of love, but only of what you have made of it. You are advancing to love's meaning and away from all illusions in which you have surrounded it. When you retreat to the illusion, your fear increases, for there is little doubt that what you think it means is fearful. Yet what is that to us who travel surely and very swiftly away from fear?
 
27 You who hold each other's hand also hold mine, for when you joined each other you were not alone. Do you believe that I would leave you in the darkness you agreed to leave with me? In your relationship is this world's light. And fear must disappear before you now. Be tempted not to snatch away the gift of faith you offered to each other. You will succeed only in frightening yourselves. The gift is given forever, for God Himself received it. You cannot take it back. You have accepted God. The holiness of your relationship is established in Heaven. You do not understand what you accepted, but remember that your understanding is not necessary. All that was necessary was merely the
wish to understand. That wish was the desire to be holy. The will of God is granted you. For you desire the only thing you ever had or ever were.
 
28 Each instant that we spend together will teach you that this goal is possible and will strengthen your desire to reach it. And in your desire lies its accomplishment. Your desire is now in complete accord with all the power of the Holy Spirit's Will. No little, faltering footsteps that you may take can separate your desire from His Will and from His strength. I hold your hand as surely as you agreed to take each other's. You will not separate, for I stand with you and walk with you in your advance to truth. And where we go, we carry God with us.
 
29 In your relationship, you have joined with me in bringing Heaven to the Son of God, who hid in darkness. You have been willing to bring the darkness to light, and this willingness has given strength to everyone who would remain in darkness. Those who would see will see. And they will join with me in carrying their light into the darkness when the darkness in them is offered to the light and is removed forever. My need for you, joined with me in the holy light of your relationship, is your need for salvation. Would I not give you what you gave to me? For when you joined each other, you answered me.
 
30 You who are now the bringers of salvation have the function of bringing light to darkness. The darkness in you has been brought to light. Carry it back to darkness from the holy instant to which you brought it. We are made whole in our desire to make whole. Let not time worry you, for all the fear that you experience is really past. Time has been readjusted to help us do together what your separate pasts would hinder. You have gone past fear, for no two minds can join in the desire for love without love's joining them.
 
31 Not one light in Heaven but goes with you. Not one ray that shines forever in the Mind of God but shines on you. Heaven is joined with you in your advance to Heaven. When such great light has joined with you to give the little spark of your desire the power of God Himself, can you remain in darkness? You are coming home together after a long and meaningless journey which you undertook apart and which led nowhere. You have found each other and will light each other's way. And from this light will the Great Rays extend back into darkness and forward unto God to shine away the past and so make room for His eternal Presence, in which everything is radiant in the light.
   
 
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