When is the last time you had a conversation with someone where you really felt like the person you were talking with was completely engaged and really interested in what you were communicating? Their body language, eye contact, and tone of voice were focused and inviting and surrounding distractions seemed irrelevant. Every one of us can remember a meaningful conversation and what it felt like to "be heard." Being heard is an important component to how we measure our self-worth and self-confidence.
Emails, voice mails, text messages, and social media posts are common forms of today's communication. We can't possibly function in business without them. Technology has given us the ability to share ideas with anyone, at any time, and anywhere in the world.
However, the essence of business is built around people and the innovations people can and will inspire. The advances to communication portals and the speed at which we can communicate are necessary. However, we should not forget to really listen along the way. Take a step back and evaluate your listening ability and techniques. Do any of the following apply to you?
- Check and answer email while talking on the phone (personally or professionally).
- Respond to texts while in a meeting or at your child's soccer game.
- Spend time updating social media instead of reaching out to someone meaningful and having a real conversation.
- Engage in a conversation with an employee, while you keep an eye on your cell phone or respond to a text message or incoming call.
If we are honest with ourselves, we are all guilty of one if not many of these listening infractions. We get caught up in the crazy and scattered pace of life. Let's take a step back and remind ourselves that good listening is essential to effective communication. Here are some simple habits that can improve our listening ability:
- Stop, take a deep breath to clear your mind, and really listen to an employee sharing ideas or to how your son's day at school unfolded.
- Be attentive. Put the world on hold and pay 100% attention to the person talking with you. They believe what they have to say is important and so should you.
- Don't be judgmental. Listen to everything the person is communicating and before judging the value of the information, ask questions to better understand the scope and depth.
- Listen (and watch) for feelings. People repeat those things that are important to them. Listen to what is said but also to how it is said. Feelings often speak much louder than words.
- Listen to understand. While listening, summarize the highlights of the conversation in your mind so you can play it back to the person with whom you are talking. It will help you recall important details later and send the important message that you were really listening.
- Finally, listen to others like you want to be listened to ... you will be astounded as to how much more you will get accomplished and learn if you stop and really listen. And, you will be amazed how much you miss if you don't!
