I've turned this month for inspiration for this missive to The Chimp Paradox, the Mind Management programme, based on scientific facts and principles, from consultant psychiatrist Prof Steve Peters. It's well worth a read for his take on how our minds work, understanding our selves and others, and managing our thoughts and emotions to be happier and more successful - he's worked with elite sportsmen and women on improving performance and his programme has been endorsed by the likes of Olympians Sir Chris Hoy, Victoria Pendleton, Sir Bradley Wiggins and Steven Gerrard.

I've cherry-picked some ideas to share with you that resonated particularly with me, that can promote resilience and wellbeing, and help to deal with adversity.

In his book, the author describes how our Psychological Minds are made up of 3 separate brains: Human, Chimp and Computer.

You are the Human, the logical thinker, whilst your inner Chimp is an emotional thinking machine, who uses impressions and feelings, and acts - if you let it - on instinct: arguably the most important of which is our Fight, Flight or Freeze response to perceived or real danger. (Jungle rules don't tend to apply and aren't useful these days, unless we are under real threat, when our survival instinct is a useful one).

The Computer is a storage area/reference point for thoughts and behaviours, which is spread throughout the whole brain. Any of them can take control, but they usually work together. 

Your Chimp has very powerful basic drives and needs, and for example makes decisions, and then looks for evidence and facts to support them; you as the Human do the reverse, and work with facts and truth. You as the Human are the real person: logical, rational, humane and compassionate.  

The Chimp Paradox is that it can be your best friend and your worst enemy, even at the same time. The central theme of the book is that your Chimp needs managing, because it's a Chimp, who operates by the laws of the jungle, and 'to harness its strength and power when it is working for you and to neutralise it when it is not'.

Prof Peters describes some typical drives of our inner Chimp: Troop (belonging to a group); Ego; Dominance; Territory; Inquisitiveness; Security; Parental instinct; Sex; Power; Food.

I have found myself asking, because of how I'm feeling or reacting, or over-reacting to situations, whether I'm allowing my inner Chimp to 'take over', in an unhelpful way, and I wonder if this might resonate with you too? Or maybe you recognise other people's Chimps now and then? Whichever, from my perspective, it can be a useful way of identifying it as a first step to doing something about it when we're acting or reacting in an unhelpful way.

 

The Model includes a 'Stone of Life', on which are inscribed the values and beliefs by which you live your life. That is

-           The Truths of Life

-           Your Values

-           Your Life Force

The author describes his first three Truths of Life as

'Life isn't fair'; 'The goalposts move' and 'Nothing is guaranteed'

These 'truths' are pretty sound don't you think? They mean that, for example, when things don't go to plan, and life - or someone - lets you down, then although you'll be disappointed, you are more easily able to deal with the situation, and move on. This doesn't mean that we don't try to be fair in life, only that when life is unfair we accept it and deal with it.

Contrast this with 'truths' such as 'Life should be fair' and 'Change is always difficult' and 'I must have certainty at all times', and you can imagine that we'll be less able to deal with life's ups and downs, and keep on an even keel.

Question: Which Truths of Life would you recommend/do you subscribe to, for a healthy and helpful way to live your life, and approach situations?

Values (judgement calls/your moral and ethical principles) For example: 'You should always try to do the right thing'; Family is more important than work'; 'Being selfless is a virtue'; 'It's wrong to lie'

Question: Which values do you subscribe to, that you try to live your life by?

 

Your Life Force
Imagine you are 100 years old, and on your death-bed, your great-great-granddaughter asks: 'What should I do with my life?'

What would you say to her? You might say something along the lines of

"Do not worry over things you can't control", "Do not concern yourself with the opinion of others, only those close to you", "Try to live in the present"
Whatever your advice was is really advice to yourself. If you are not living by this advice, which is the essence of your existence, you are living a lie; it will unsettle you more than anything else.

Why not write these down on a post-it note or similar, as a little reminder to yourself of how you want to be?

 

WHO ARE YOU AS A PERSON? WHAT ARE YOU LIKE? WHO WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE? (This one's easy!)

How would you like to be? That's who you are.

Write down a list of attributes, personal characteristics you aspire to and would like to have, e.g. calm, confident, easy-going, open-minded, compassionate, positive, inquisitive, empathetic etc. 

Once you've written the list, look at it again and see who you truly are(!). You maybe possess some/most of them already, but for those you don't have (yet), it's your inner Chimp hijacking you and/or unhelpful beliefs/behaviours stopping you being who you really are. You can work on this of course, manage your Chimp and adopt more helpful beliefs and behaviours.

Question: Which ones have you achieved/are you comfortable with, and which ones do you need to work on?

We have a Resilience Plan you can use to note down if you do have one or two areas you think you need to work on - we also have some Activities and Behaviours to accompany it: if you'd like a copy, just drop me a line.