Welcome to the June issue. This month we discuss intimacy. One way to engage with intimacy is to join with others to explore and process. Please check out upcoming fire circles. Finally, I share insights from one of my high school students. Best, Marc
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Uncovering The Intimacy of Your Experience
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"
There's a crack in everything. That's how the light gets in
"
- Leonard Cohen, Anthem
In his book,
The Wise Heart, Jack Kornfield tells the
story of the Golden Buddha of Sukotai. This Buddha had been covered in plaster in the 18th century in order to protect it from theft. It wasn't until 1954 that a crack appeared, revealing the brilliant Golden Buddha underneath. In much the same way, each of us contains within us a loving heart and a luminous spirit.
But this spirit, this energy, is often hidden within us. Whether it be covered in clay, buried in a
black bag, or hidden behind a mask, it is a part of us. I've pasted a clip below from the 2015 documentary
The Mask You LIve In. This movie explores the cultural message that men should never show weakness and the impact it has on society.
Holding an important part of ourselves inside takes work, sometimes called Emotional Labor. Becoming intimate with our mask gives us a choice. We can choose who gets to share in our full self and who doesn't get to see. This takes time, patience and practice. One way to explore intimacy is to join with others on the same journey.
In a recent interview, meditation teacher Frank Ostaseski describes how his current practice and teaching is not about mindfulness but about intimacy.
Becoming familiar with one's experience and letting it all in. Leaving nothing out. Not needing to make things a certain way. The clarity that comes with intimacy of one's experience can point the way to wise action.
One way to practice intimacy, seeing behind the mask is to sit quietly and silently ask yourself the following questions: "What is happening?" and "Can I be with it?". As my friend and fellow teacher
Josh Gansky writes, this practice is one where we notice and allow. In this way, we become more intimate with our internal experience.
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Your Mindful Coach is offering two new groups this summer. To learn more, visit the blogs for
Men Sitting By a Fire and
Teachers Sitting By a Fire. These innovative new groups are a way to share our experience and wisdom and build trusting relationships.
No fee to attend though donations are accepted as you are able. It is, however, very helpful if you
sign up in advance
so our space can be arranged appropriately.
Each evening begins at 8pm at my home in Wayne. Address provided on registration.
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Why practice mindfulness? A student's perspective
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"Since I've started practicing mindfulness regularly, I've gotten better sleep and felt more focused throughout the day. I've felt happier, too, because by clearing out anxiety, you can focus on other things."
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Fitz Dougherty, The Shipley School class of 2017
Fitz Dougherty's work was recently featured on The Shipley School blog. In the
article, Fitz describes the impact mindfulness has had on his life and tips for practices.
Fitz concludes,
"So start small with short practices, and don't be discouraged if you struggle at first. After each session, I find myself noticing how mindfulness is becoming easier and my mind is becoming clearer. Like with any skill, practice makes perfect."
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Marc Balcer
brings his experience as a coach, entrepreneur and investor to
Your Mindful Coach
. He has received training in Mindfulness-Based Stress Management, Mindful Self-Compassion and Mindful Schools. A limited number of private consultation times are available to build your mindfulness practice. Sessions may be done by phone, Skype video or in person at a rate of $95/ hour.
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