The desire to "help" others see the best way to do something is often rooted in your desire to have a new experience in the relationships most important to you.
You might want to get out your treasure trove of life experience and wisdom to give advice to someone going through a difficult time. You might want to gift someone with your knowledge so they can take advantage of the "better" way of doing things that you have discovered.
You might want to offer advice in order to spare someone disappointment or hurt that you see ahead for them in a venture or relationship.
Perhaps you even want to share the "
RIGHT
" way.
The 'fix-it' impulse comes up especially strong when you can't help but be triggered by all the little cracks in your family system - all the hurts, slights and oversights that your mind tells you can still be fixed if only you can get others to see things your way.
If only.
The impulse to "fix" others is a powerful distraction from your own process of letting go of the past - of what happened or didn't happen - of what you believe is the best way to handle things - of being trapped in the suspended animation of "if only" thinking.
This week I'm inviting you to reflect on where the impulse to give advice or "fix" another comes from. Where in your past did you get the message that it was your job to be responsible for another's experience of life? Once you uncover the source(s) see if you can catch yourself and take a step back and just observe. Notice when you are ready to give advice that has not been requested; notice when you can't help but show someone a better way; notice when you are still emotionally charged by interactions with family members,friends and work colleagues.
Noticing (awareness) is the first step in the process of change. Transformation comes when that awareness becomes acceptance and the struggle to change the past is surrendered. And once that happens you get to experience all your relationships as new and present opportunities for love.
