| Join Our List |
 |
|
|
Living Differently is a newsletter of tips, ideas and information about grief, life and living after grief.
Grieving, like living, involves all areas of life; emotional, cognitive, physical, spiritual, social, relational, nature and universal. We delve into all these areas plus offer messages from the other side to help you in your journey.
* Please send me your comments or questions
* Please share this newsletter with those who may benefit from or want to subscribe.(click the forward button below)
* Please click the Join Our Mailing List button to the left...
With much gratitude,
Chris
|
|
Note From Chris
|
|
Well it's the beginning of summer in the Northern Hemisphere so we have had roofers replacing our roof for the last couple days. The first time I encountered them, one of workers apologized saying,"I'm sorry, it's probably pretty noisy in there." To which I responded, "It is but we were prepared and we knew it would be."
I realized, yes, we had prepared our intention; we knew ahead of time that it was going to be noisy but we had no idea HOW noisy it would be or HOW distracting or disturbing it would be or HOW it would affect the dogs. But, we had the intention that our everyday life was going to be different for a few days.
That seems to be the way with grieving. We may not know what to expect because we have not had the personal experience on which to base our reaction. We may vicariously experience someone else's experience through their stories or anticipate our reaction through related situations. But loss; the ending of a relationship, loss of a job, death of a pet or loved one is so unlike other life situations that you usually cannot prepare yourself for the HOW you can prepare yourself for the experience itself.
Now the purpose of this newsletter is not necessarily to prepare you in your journey but to help shed some light on viewing those questions and to help you with the hows and whats in your life situations.
We planned this journey but we don't remember the path we designed so we must learn as we go. Just like the constant pounding on your roof...or the dogs being perpetually in fear mode or not being able to have a conversation... let's look as some different ways to look at this journey.
|
Living Differently Tip
|
|
Living Differently Tip:
The following is from my ongoing messages/lessons/guidance shared by and received from the non-physical perspective ...my Guides, aka. Maxx
This message holds a mini-lesson for all of us...
(usually I hear a phrase, a subject or they make a comment and then they explain their lesson...)
Sun, Summer and Strength
After asking for a newsletter Living Differently comment I was driving past a farm that advertised Berries, Brews and Barbecues and they said, No, that's not for them, it's Sun, Summer and Strength. It's all about using and being more of you than you saw or thought. You can have you anytime of the year and you do but do you use you in the best possible way for the life that you want? And the life that you want IS how you arrange and live your internal being. And that internal being is based on your thoughts and your emotions and your behaviors. You create them, you create your life, you create your summer, you create your sun. If you choose to do that in this early part of summer you will see differences in the later parts of your summer just like life. It is all you; it is you choosing for you, to be you, to be that better you, to experience more of you. If you want more, be more and how you be more is live you, that light that is inside, that not only wishes to or wants to but it's needed in your world in which you are now living.
**********
Zac Comment:
It's not a bunch of words: choosing and life and being and uncluttering and manifesting. It is way beyond that. It is the knowing of what is in you that is possible. And when you move beyond all those words, all those activities, all those thoughts, all those beliefs, you come to you and you are that knowing. That knowing is your living not life, it is your living. It is your existence and what you are going to continue with beyond. So create it. Create it now. And then, perpetuate it. That's the word. It's not creating, it's knowing, perpetuating and that perpetuation is by being.
**********
Your spirit helpers are with you all the time they want to help you and they have a way of letting you know in a way you will understand...
Your job is to learn to trust them! You can have the comfort of your spirit guides and loved ones to ease the burdens of your physical life. I encourage you to embrace your connections.
Do you have questions? Please let me know..
|
|
|
|
The How of Grief
How do you grieve? When do you grieve? What do you do when you grieve? How do you feel when you grieve?
We want to know about others' grief processes. We want to know what and how others grieve. We want to feel normal. Is what I am doing or feeling or thinking normal?
We want to gain insights through books, webinars, workshops, online groups and through podcasts and conferences...seeking normality in our own world.
Many of these resources will give you new knowledge to integrate into your life. This new information will encourage you to choose whether you integrate your learning or not.
You might choose to 1. dismiss the information 2. choose to file the learning away (I used to call it compartmentalizing) or 3. you can allow the information to percolate.
None of these choices are the
wrong path nor is there a
perfect time for your choice of paths. There are no laws of grief that determine when, how and why you should grieve in order to arrive at a certain "healed" state. No book exists nor are there any determinates that outline what a "healed state" looks like.
Knowing Your Grief
Knowing there are no rules or guidelines to grief, it should come as a comfort to know that what you are thinking, feeling and doing is appropriate for the average griever. But, there are no
average grievers, only individuals who are attempting to find their way in unfamiliar territory. And that unfamiliar territory causes immense confusion, lack of control and fear.
The unpredictability, the all-consuming, out of control nature of grief coupled with the recycling, painful emotions, loss of functioning and lack of energy make decision making difficult if not impossible until some balance is acquired to provide new grounding for building a new foundation.
It is only with the sight (and site) for your new foundation that you will be able to make decisions to start your path of healing. Recognizing that everyone grieves differently is essential to your healing process.
Realizing that you will not "graduate" or "get over" your grieving, you have to make a choice that you can return to a changed level of functioning and learn to enjoy life again, only differently.
To survive the grief process it is essential to accept where you are, what you need to do and what you are doing at the time you are doing it. Regardless of what anyone else has experienced, you will feel your process differently, on your own timeline, at your own intensity and at your own speed.
Your Grief Your Choices
Only you can choose your right path and your right time. Choosing to seek resources and information from others, deciding whether to accept, dismiss or incorporate the information into your life are all part of your journey.
Your journey is not about rules, laws, guidelines or tangible criteria. Your journey is about choices and a continuation of ongoing change.
If you choose to let the new information about you percolate and you integrate your learning into your new living, the changes you make will be the creation of you: identifying, expanding and knowing a new you who is based on your awareness of your thoughts, emotions and behaviors.
When you become aware of your choices of and for you, you'll notice changes take place in your attitude and an opening up of acceptance in your life. You become more aware of YOU in your presence and when you are being more present.
Allow yourself to become more of who you are by
observing who you are becoming. Observe you feeling, thinking, reacting, behaving and changing.
Observe your steps in your healing process rather than just
taking the steps. By observing the steps of your process you incorporate those steps in your living, your ongoing healing process.
Observing you is choosing to experience more of you. Choosing to
see what you see will lead you to a journey of
knowing what you know which moves you beyond thinking, believing and trusting.
Choosing you now is knowing you and your light inside. Choosing you is changing lanes from the path of grieving to the path of healing.
|
|
|
|
Try This New Morning Ritual
Most of you have probably heard that rituals are not only helpful but sometimes necessary to begin your grieving process. The functions are many and as individual as each person. They help grievers see them self in their own process, they can identify your grieving style, how you grieve and recognize how others grieve.
Your rituals will be as personal as your journey. They can honor, commemorate or mourn a loved one. But, they can also be created specifically for you to learn about you. (i.e.: yoga, journaling, meditating, exercising, tai-chi to name a few.)
A few weeks ago my Guides downloaded a morning ritual that I think can be quite helpful and, it only takes about a minute to start your day with an intention that can help you shift your focus for the day.
Morning/Intention Setting Ritual
:
Open - Practice - Live
Open - (through gratitude)
Breathe in and hold breath in, hands together at heart chakra, thumbs touching chest, say to yourself: "Open"
Practice - (through presence) While
holding breath, move hands together above your head, say to yourself: "Practice"
Live - (through noticing)
Exhale, spread arms down to sides, say: "Live"
Do three times upon waking, setting the intention for centering yourself, for opening yourself for communication and to help you see yourself in your journey.
|
|
|
|
Louise Hay has another morning (and bedtime) ritual. I'm sure her books can help us understand how she creates gratitude and joy in her life...
|
|
|
|
The Shack's "
The Great Sadness"
Discussing how difficult it is to prepare you for unfamiliar situations and how our experiences shape us, it makes sense to mention Mackenzie Allen Phillips, the lead character in the book and recently released movie,
The Shack.
In the intro to the book, the narrator states that the last few years had been "
remarkably peculiar" and that "
Mack had changed, was even more different and special than he used to be." It described the last few years after
"The Great Sadness," as it seemed to have given Mack his life back and lifted the burden. The change in him was described as the melody of his life had changed and no one else could play his song.
You know how individual the life journey is and this story supports that same individuality in the grief journey. (as well as the reviews from critics and grievers alike)
As grievers, you cannot prepare for how you will react or what will happen in your life after your "great sadness." New life will be created from the
what you do for yourself and that is what will make any difference in your life after your loss. This is what Mack found in his search within his internal being for his responses, for his behaviors, for his emotions and ultimately for the reaction and living of his life.
(Please watch for our blog post about The Shack as it will be posted on the FB page as well as our blog soon).
****************
We'll all experience our own "Great Sadness" in our life and not know how to deal with it, get frustrated and overwhelmed. It is not easy to live in the physical while learning to understand and live your spiritual Self too. It's important to give yourself permission to accept both straddling your physical being while you grieve and seek your spiritual path. As they said, you will create your summer and your new you by your choices for you: by discovering and living that light inside. Wishing you moments of beauty and peace in your early summer...
****************
We post daily information and inspiration
~ Please look it over, see what you think ~
"
Like it" "
Comment" "
Share it"
(We post blog posts, Wednesday Wisdom (from Maxx, Zac and others on the other side) Friday Funnies and a whole lot more on the Facebook page)
********
Request: I'd love to hear from you... do you have questions or comments about this newsletter?
Are there subjects you'd like to hear about? Please let me know....
********
and this month's a final thought...
Here's to summarizing your new you...
If you have questions, comments or subjects you'd like addressed in this newsletter, please let us know...
|
|
|
|
Please visit my blog here. I'd love to hear your comments or questions or have you share your experiences of your continued relationship with your loved one.
For a whole lot of years now we have been sharing information about signs, celebrating your child's birthday, dreams, pet loss, parental loss, ADCs, continuing relationships, conversations with the other side, holiday grief, bereaved parents' grief and a whole lot more!
|
|
|
|
- Contact us by:
- [email protected]t
- FB https://www.facebook.com/chris.mulligan.526
- Blog http://afterlifebooks.blogspot.com/
- G+ https://plus.google.com/105266701645996438251/posts
- Comments or questions [email protected]
- You are surely welcome to use or share articles in the newsletter. If you do, please include this complete blurb with it: Author, teacher and spiritual guide, Chris Mulligan specializes in helping others transform their grief from suffering to choosing to live life differently. She is the founder of the website http://www.Afterlifebooks.com, the blog http://www.Afterlifebooks.blogspot.com, the newsletter, Living Differently and author of Afterlife Agreements: A Gift From Beyond
- I'd love your feedback, comments or questions. Please feel free to respond with your thoughts....
- If you no longer wish to receive our Living Differently emails or want to change your subscription, please click the link below.
- For a wealth of resources, we add to our website, blog and newsletter. Please tell your friends to check us out.
- Privacy statement: We never share your information with anyone. Period.
|
|
|
Chris Mulligan is an intuitive grief guide, teacher and author of Afterlife Agreements: A Gift From Beyond who is passionate about inspiring and guiding others to choose to live differently after grief, to change their pain to hope and their suffering to living on. Her passion is fueled by her own transformation when her youngest son, Zac died in 2000 and she found herself enduring a shattered world she did not expect to inhabit. Receiving guidance through signs and communication from her son and other spirits, her life path shifted from living in grief to living on. She discovered her truth when she chose to open her heart and live life differently. From that place, she fearlessly created an abundant life full of gifts, gratitude and grace. A MS in Clinical Child, Youth, and Family Work, 25 years of Adoption Social Work, hospice volunteering, facilitating grief support groups and being her parents' end of life and transitional caregiver have taught her about pain and peace. She frequently speaks on panels and workshops for the bereaved and those working with the bereaved. She loves spending time with her husband and family of two dogs, Nina and Sam, four children and four grandchildren. She has been receiving images and messages from those on the other side for over 16 years and is currently writing a book incorporating their teachings. Go to http://www.Afterlifebooks.com to learn more.
With much gratitude, Chris |
|
|
|
|
