News from Jude Bijou and Attitude Reconstruction™      

 

Joy, Love, and Peace as we welcome in 2018

Attitiude Reconstruction  

                                          
 
Irma and Harvey Schluter celebrated their 75th wedding anniversary and marveled that their names were the 2017 major storms
 
The Month for Awesome Relationships                         February 2018  
IN THIS ISSUE
Interesting Articles and Uplifting Videos
Creating Solid Personal Relationships
Lovely Valentine's Day Gift Suggestions
Hey Jude! (on the Olympics))
Come join me on March 17 for a St. Patty's day full of insights and fun. Learn how to communicate successfully about almost anything. For further information:

Jude  

Jude Bijou 
Jude Bijou MA MFT is a respected psychotherapist, professional educator, and workshop leader. Her multi award- winning book is a practical and spiritual handbook to help you create the life you desire.  

Kind words about the book 
 
Attitude Reconstruction provides profound yet simple signposts along the journey reminding us that in every moment we have choice to shift our consciousness to create a more loving world of inner and outer peace.                         Teri M. 
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Shaun Heffernan 
Consider purchasing
Keys to a Good Life, a book that includes a collection of articles, including one by yours truly on how to deal with anxiety!

It is now available for purchase through Amazon, Barnes and Noble, etc. and is the perfect way to find wisdom to unlock your power within.














"And I thought she didn't know I existed."






















"You're kidding, right?"























"I'm a busy man, Melinda. Will you or won't you be my valentine?"












 



















 

Greetings dear ones,
 
It's the month to give and receive extra love. Don't dread February 14. You can find contained within this newsletter some suggestions for Valentine's gifts that don't cost a dime and are guaranteed to melt hearts stuck in the winter's cold.  
 
Also you'll find some tips to create awesome and heart-bursting personal relationships with almost any one. So it's time to take that ten minutes and create something that could well change any relationship dynamic for the better. But first...   
    
A Few Articles of Interest

Here are some facts and fictions about sneezing. Be careful this time of year in particular!


Here's an article that shows you where people are moving from and to in the USA by demographics.

Discouraged about USA politics? Take heart and smile at silly take offs of a classic photo of Barak Obama and Justin Trudeau.

Remember your yellow pencils with the eraser? Well, those factories are becoming extinct. Here they are in blue!


Lonely planets top 15 destinations in the USA for 2018 with the California redwoods leading the way.

Videos Guaranteed to Bring a Smile!   
 
Time for a cat video. These are cats dancing to music! 
 
Clever Tom Hanks and James Corden act out Tom's movie career in seven minutes.
 
Evidently, though I swear I changed the the link twice, the Julia Roberts and James Corden bit doing Julia's film career was wrong. This bit always brings a smile to my face.  
 
 
All prisma cool photos by Shaun Heffernan. See more of his art at www.wanderartist.com
   
All cartoons "borrowed" from the Cartoonbank.  
Tips for Creating Awesome Relationships
 
To help make it through the month with more experiences of joy, love, and peace, here is Attitude Reconstruction's spin on how to create and sustain good human relationships, from the bedroom to the boardroom.

1. Accept and respect differences and remember that you are a team. Solve differences together, looking for the best win-win solution and respecting each others' position rather than trying to strong arm the other person or feel like you're sacrificing what's important to you by routinely giving in.

2. Maintain your integrity in order to build and keep trust. That means stay true to yourself and speak up honestly about what you think and feel. Keep honest communication going.

3. Listen to really understand what the other person thinks. Communication involves fifty percent of the time actively listening and fifty percent of the time sharing what is true for you.

4. Communicate constructively. When you are trying to make a point or are in the grip of emotions, stick to talking about what you feel, want, or believe about a specific topic. That means refrain from blaming, finger pointing, criticizing, and advice-giving (you-ing) and stay away from over-generalizations, such as "always" and "nevers." Address one topic at a time and resist bringing in other unresolved issues.
 
5. Go for tenderness -- give copious and sincere appreciations, praise, and support. We never get tired of someone genuinely pointing out our positive qualities and actions. When given to you, keep quiet and soak in the praise and appreciation from others.

6. Deal with your emotions constructively. That means don't target the other person when you feel angry, It's important to own your sadness, anger, and fear as something within you. Apologize when you don't, and go have a good cry, tantrum, or shiver and shake to clear the emotional energy.

7. Choose your battles. This means speak up when it matters -- when you can't let go of something. Don't sweat the small stuff and recognize you can't always get what you want. Focus on what's important -- connection and love.

8. Embrace change. Handle events as they arise, and then let go. Life is a roller coaster, maintaining flexibility and a positive outlook will help you enjoy the ride together.

9. Limit the time you spend in the virtual world. Closeness comes from personal connection. So spend time together to actualize your heartfelt goals of joy, love, and peace.

10. Cultivate shared interests as well as independent activities. Balance pursuits outside the relationship with quality time together. Remember to support each other with problems and in attaining goals. This brings a healthy mix to the relationship cake.
 
 

8 Winning Valentine's Gifts--that Don't Cost a Cent

It's easy to get stumped about what to do to express yourself for Valentine's Day. I talk to many clients who express anxiety about the love day, and this is what I say.
 
Don't focus on what others are doing or buying to show their honey that they are special. Instead, think of it as an occasion to honor your love, and to convey how much you value, respect, and admire him or her. With that as your goal, celebrating this holiday is actually very easy, and it won't cost you a penny.
 
Here are 8 things you can do to win the heart of your valentine 
 
1. Write down what you appreciate.
Write a list of qualities that you appreciate about your loved one, and put those words in a card, poem, or a short video of you reading the list. This can be characteristics they possess or things they have done. Include both specific and general examples.
 
2. Share your favorite memories aloud.
Write a list of 6 or so of your favorite, most stellar shared memories and retell the events and why they are significant for you.
 
3. Listen with love.
Set up a comfortable place to talk, and ask questions about life, dreams, wishes, and feelings. Just listen while he or she talks. Don't interrupt. Remind him or her that you won't share this information with anyone.
 
4. Step out of the box and do something different.
Take the evening off from your normal routine and do something that steps outside of the usual, like dancing in your backyard or reading a poem aloud in front of the fireplace. Maybe plan an outing to a favorite place, maybe a hike or a stroll to a new destination.
 
5. Let go of the past.
Valentine's Day is a great day to let go of any grudges you're holding and to accept your loved one, flaws and all. To do this, repeat over and over to yourself, "My partner is the way he is, not the way I want him to be." Or "My partner did what she did. We both did the best we could at the time." Stating these truths to yourself with conviction will help you be able to let go of the past and genuinely say and mean, "I love you."
 
6. Be a genie and grant a wish.
Put yourself in your partner's shoes and offer to take on a chore or an activity that would bring a smile or relieve some stress and strain. Do it in a timely manner with a smile on your face.
 
7. Embrace the spirit of the day.
Refrain from making negative jokes about Valentine's Day or your partners opinion about the day. Regardless of how you feel, only say positive and genuine things. It's just one day.
 
8. Fall in love again.
Allow yourself to fall in love anew. Conjure up feelings of a time you were full of love for your Valentine, and keep your focus there in your heart. Give up the mental score-keeping of your differences and interrupt all your complaints. Recall the way you felt when you first met.  


Hey Jude!
 
What's your take on the Olympics?
 
It's the story behind the story that captures me the most. When I hear and see how much preparation each athlete has put into become an Olympian, it re-enforces the value of having a goal. I watch how their burning desire motivates them to be their best.
 
I see how much perseverance they all possess. Their minds must be fully in the present moment, no matter the score or other participants. One thought of doubt, and it's toast!
 
They've developed incredible focus. I marvel at the snowboarder, skiers, figure skaters, and racers.
 
The teamwork! To luge. To win a long distance race.
 
It takes sacrifice to practice day in and day out to become the best in their discipline. Not too much partying, drinking, or staying out late. Regardless of how they feel or what they think, they have to show up every day.
 
I see how beautiful athletes look because they're in such amazing physical condition. Those glowing faces. Those bodies. Those muscles. 
 
And behind virtually every one of them is a cast of characters who support and encourage them - coaches, family members, doctors and other health care professionals, communities. And yes, corporate sponsors. So even if you are a skater, it requires a team to keep you dancing or streaking out there.
 
My point is: Attitude is everything! As you watch these Olympians, what do you think about yourself? Do you feel inspired to take that passion into your own life? Or ???
        I'm sending you best wishes for a loving month (and year). 
 
Thanks for reading this newsletter. If you have any feedback, suggestions about a newsletter theme, or general comments, I enjoy hearing from you, so feel free to write me at: [email protected]
  
                           With love,
                                                                    Jude