Lesson 134
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Calm Light of Truth
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   A COURSE IN MIRACLES
  CH 12 "THE PROBLEM OF GUILT"
II. CRUCIFIXION BY GUILT   

5 In the calm light of truth, let us recognize that you believe you have crucified God's Son. You have not admitted to this "terrible" secret because you still wish to crucify him if you could find him. Yet the wish has hidden him from you because it is very fearful, and you are afraid to find him. You have handled this wish to kill yourself by not knowing who you are and identifying with something else. You have projected guilt blindly and indiscriminately, but you have not uncovered its source. For the ego does want to kill you, and if you identify with it, you must believe its goal is yours.

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DAILY LESSONS
SonShip Workbook
L e s s o n  134
  Let me perceive forgiveness as it is.

* IAMBIC PENTAMETER BEGINS*
 
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   Let us review the meaning of "forgive,"
   for it is apt to be distorted and
   to be perceived as something which entails
   an unfair sacrifice of righteous wrath,
   a gift unjustified and undeserved,
   and a complete denial of the truth.
   In such a view, forgiveness must be seen
   as mere eccentric folly, and this course
   appears to rest salvation on a whim.|
 
   This twisted view of what salvation means
   is easily corrected when you can
   accept the fact that pardon is not asked
   for what is true. It must be limited
   to what is false. It is irrelevant
   to everything except illusions. Truth
   is God's creation, and to pardon this
   is meaningless. All truth belongs to Him,
   reflects His laws and radiates His Love.
   Does this need pardon? How can you forgive
   the sinless and eternally benign?|
 
   The major difficulty that you find
   in genuine forgiveness on your part
   is that you still believe you must forgive
   the truth and not illusions. You conceive
   of pardon as a vain attempt to look
   past what is there; to overlook the truth
   in an unfounded effort to deceive
   yourself by making an illusion true.
   This twisted viewpoint but reflects the hold
   that the idea of sin retains as yet
   upon your mind as you regard yourself.|
 
   Because you think your sins are real, you look
   on pardon as deception. For it is
   impossible to think of sin as true
   and not believe forgiveness is a lie.
   Thus is forgiveness really but a sin,
   like all the rest. It says the truth is false,
   and smiles on the corrupt as if they were
   as blameless as the grass; as white as snow.
   It is delusional in what it thinks
   it can accomplish. It would see as right
   the plainly wrong; the loathsome as the good.|
 
   Pardon is no escape in such a view.
   It merely is a further sign that sin
   is unforgivable, at best to be
   concealed, denied, or called another name,
   for pardon is a treachery to truth.
   Guilt cannot be forgiven. If you sin,
   your guilt is everlasting. Those who are
   forgiven from the view their sins are real
   are pitifully mocked and twice condemned;
   first by themselves for what they think they did,
   and once again by those who pardon them.|
 
   It is sin's unreality which makes
   forgiveness natural and kind and sane,
   a deep relief to those who offer it;
   a quiet blessing where it is received.
   It does not countenance illusions, but
   collects them lightly, with a little laugh,
   and gently lays them at the feet of truth.
   And there they disappear entirely.|
    
   Forgiveness is the only thing that stands
   for truth in the illusions of the world.
   It sees their nothingness, and looks right through
   the thousand forms in which they may appear.
   It looks on lies but it is not deceived.
   It does not heed the self-accusing shrieks
   of sinners mad with guilt. It looks on them
   with quiet eyes, and merely says to them,
   "My brother, what you think is not the truth."|
 
   The strength of pardon is its honesty,
   which is so uncorrupted that it sees
   illusions as illusions, not as truth.
   It is because of this that it becomes
   the undeceiver in the face of lies,
   the great restorer of the simple truth.
   By its ability to overlook
   what is not there, it opens up the way
   to truth, which had been blocked by dreams of guilt.
   
   Now are you free to follow in the way
   your true forgiveness opens up to you.
   For if one brother has received this gift
   of you, the door is open to yourself.|
    There is a very simple way to find
   the door to true forgiveness, and perceive
   it open wide in welcome. When you feel
   that you are tempted to accuse someone
   of sin in any form, do not allow
   your mind to dwell on what you think he did,
   for this is self-deception. Ask instead,
   "Would I accuse myself of doing this?"|
 
   Thus will you see alternatives for choice
   in terms which render choosing meaningful,
   and keep your mind as free of guilt and pain
   as God Himself intended it to be,
   and as it is in truth. It is but lies
   which would condemn. In truth is innocence
   the only thing there is. Forgiveness stands
   between illusions and the truth, between
   the world you see and that which lies beyond,
   between the hell of guilt and Heaven's gate.|
 
   Across this bridge, as powerful as Love
   Which laid Its blessing on it, are all dreams
   of evil and of hatred and attack
   brought silently to truth. They are not kept
   to swell and bluster and to terrify
   the foolish dreamer who believes in them.
   He has been gently wakened from his dream
   by understanding what he thought he saw
   was never there. And now he cannot feel
   that all escape has been denied to him.|
 
   He does not have to fight to save himself.
   He does not have to kill the dragons which
   he thought pursued him. Nor need he erect
   the heavy walls of stone and iron doors
   he thought would make him safe. He can take off
   the ponderous and useless armor made
   to chain his mind to fear and misery.
   His step is light, and as he lifts his foot
   to stride ahead, a star is left behind
   to point the way to those who follow him.|
 
   Forgiveness must be practiced, for the world
   cannot perceive its meaning, nor provide
   a guide to teach you its beneficence.
   There is no thought in all the world which leads
   to any understanding of the laws
   it follows, nor the Thought which it reflects.
   It is as alien to the world as is
   your own reality. And yet it joins
   your mind with the Reality in you.|
 
   Today we practice true forgiveness that
   the time of joining be no more delayed.
   For we would meet with our Reality
   in freedom and in peace. Our practicing
   becomes the footsteps lighting up the way
   for all our brothers, who will follow us
   to the Reality we share with them.
 
   That this may be accomplished, let us give
   a quarter of an hour twice today,
   and spend it with the Guide Who understands
   the meaning of forgiveness, and was sent
   to us to teach it. Let us ask of Him:
  
   " Let me perceive forgiveness as it is."|
 
   Then choose one brother as He will direct,
   and catalog his "sins" as one by one
   they cross your mind. Be certain not to dwell
   on any one of them, but realize
   that you are using his offenses but
   to save the world from all ideas of sin.
   Briefly consider all the evil things
   you thought of him, and each time ask yourself
   "Would I condemn myself for doing this?"|
 
   Let him be freed from all the thoughts you had
   of sin in him. And now you are prepared
   for freedom. If you have been practicing
   thus far in willingness and honesty,
   you will begin to sense a lifting up,
   a lightening of weight across your chest,
   a deep and certain feeling of relief.
   The time remaining should be given to
   experiencing the escape from all
   the heavy chains you sought to lay upon
   your brother, which were laid upon yourself.|
 
   Forgiveness should be practiced through the day,
   for there will be so many times when you
   forget its meaning and attack yourself.
   When this occurs, allow your mind to see
   through this illusion as you tell yourself:
 
   " Let me perceive forgiveness as it is.
    Would I accuse myself of doing this?
    I will not lay this chain upon myself."
 
   In everything you do remember this:
 
   " No-one is crucified alone, and yet
    No-one can enter Heaven by himself."

        ~ Original Hand Script Notes  
   

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ACIM Edmonton - Sarah's Reflections 
ACIM Edmonton, CA
LESSON 134
Let me perceive forgiveness as it is.
 
Sarah's Commentary:

This is a very important Lesson, as forgiveness is at the core of the Course teaching, and it is important to understand what it really means. It is not forgiveness as we typically think of it, where we perceive that someone has actually done something to us, and we justify our judgment and attack for what they have done. With this kind of forgiveness, we try to overlook their "sin" in the name of our own goodness and charity and "forgive" them for what they have done. This kind of forgiveness is actually an attack, and Jesus explains why this is the case. He explains that what we are seeing in another is our own sin. We project what we judge in ourselves onto others. We see it in them because we find that it is too horrific to acknowledge in ourselves, and thus, it is an attack on their inherent innocence.
 
We find sin and guilt in our own minds so horrific that we think by projecting them we will rid ourselves of them. We judge ourselves for the belief that we have separated from God and fear His punishment; yet if we find others who are guilty, we hope they will get the punishment we think we deserve. It is a way in which we try to purchase our innocence at their expense. In this scenario, forgiveness may be given or withheld by us for what the other has seemingly done, based on our elevated position. We assume a kind of spirituality, based on our view that we are superior to them. We see ourselves as the innocent ones, giving a reprieve to someone we clearly see as guilty. Thus, "In such a view, forgiveness must be seen as mere eccentric folly, and this course appear to rest salvation on a whim." (W.134.1.2)
 
When we are able to accept that nothing real has been done, since there have been no real effects, forgiveness becomes easy and natural. The error is simply overlooked. No sin has been committed, and all the meaning we have given to the event is withdrawn. Our brother is innocent, just as are we. The transgression only seemed to happen in a dream we are dreaming. "Truth is God's creation, and to pardon that is meaningless." (W.134.2.4) "How can you forgive the sinless and eternally benign?" (W.134.2.7) When our meaning is withdrawn, we leave a blank space for God to show us His meaning, which is that we are all sinless and eternally benign.
 
When we understand the basis for true forgiveness, we will be very motivated to offer it because our own healing and happiness will depend on it. The way the world defines forgiveness is by pointing out that the injustice actually happened. It did real harm. It was totally unfair and unjustified. It was done on purpose and was meant to hurt. If all this were true, we would have a right to our anger. To forgive what is seen as true would require that we try to let go of our resentment, and instead, we do our best to feel love for the person. It is an impossible situation. Jesus says that we can't forgive what we have made real. The only way we can go from resentment to love is to see that we have given our meaning to a meaningless event. It is all about healing the judgments in our own minds. By bringing our judgments to the Holy Spirit, the resentment we are holding in our minds is released.
 
When we perceive that the other person has done something sinful, particularly if it is something we consider a major assault, then to offer forgiveness, in the usual sense, feels like an "unfair sacrifice" (W.134.1.1) or a "gift unjustified" (W.134.1.1) or a "vain attempt to look past what is there." (W.134.3.2) We simply can't make ourselves see something as right, which to us is "plainly wrong." (W.134.4.6) We can't desperately try to see innocence where there is real damage, as we perceive it. In The Song of Prayer, the world's version of forgiveness is called "forgiveness-to-destroy." It just becomes another attack we make that seems like love. In Chapter 30, Jesus calls this, "false forgiveness which the world employs to keep the sense of sin alive." (T.30.VI.4.1) (ACIM OE T.30.VII.73)
 
Forgiveness is not about overlooking the truth but only about accepting what we see is false. "This twisted view of what forgiveness means is easily corrected, when you can accept the fact that pardon is not asked for what is true." (W.134.2.1)
 
So let's look at how this was all set up in the first place. We have deceived ourselves into thinking that what we perceive in the world is the truth. It starts with the idea that we have done something terrible in separating from God and establishing our own kingdom. Now we see ourselves as individuals, separate from each other and seemingly rulers of our own lives. This required that God be destroyed because it is impossible we could exist separate from Oneness. Although in truth, we could not separate, it appears as though we have. The ego has made it very convincing, giving us bodies and senses that report to us that the world is real and true. This makes it difficult for us to refute the seeming reality of the world. With separation comes guilt, anxiety, fear, and distress, because we hold the belief that we have destroyed love. This belief is not in our conscious minds, yet the effects are something we can all relate to. Our experience here is one of constant, underlying fear and anxiety. We hardly ever experience a state of complete ease and a sense of being at home in ourselves. We carry a feeling that we have done something wrong and will be found out, yet we have no idea of the origin of this thought.
 
The guilt in our minds is so overwhelming that the ego gave us a solution, which is to project the guilt in the mind. Now, instead of seeing it in ourselves, we find it all around us. The world is our projection screen, which was made as a defense against our own guilt.
 
In truth, we are all ". . . sinless and eternally benign" (W.134.2.7) and, in fact, have never changed our reality. "I am as God created me." (W.94) No matter what the behavior is in the world of illusion, it is not real and has no real effects. Therefore, when we forgive, according to this Lesson, we are only letting go of the illusion that a sin has actually been committed. "For it is impossible to think of sin as true and not believe forgiveness is a lie." (W.134.4.2) Because sin is unreal in whatever form it takes, we can simply lay it gently at the feet of truth, and there it disappears. When we do not heed ". . . the self-accusing shrieks of sinners mad with guilt," (W.134.7.4) we make space for the truth.
 
Now we see everything as a call for love and understanding. Yet this can't happen until we are willing to look at our judgments and our own attack thoughts and take responsibility for them in our own minds. We need to see how we are constantly looking for sin and guilt in others. It is this that we need to forgive in ourselves. It is an opportunity to heal our own minds by taking responsibility for our own projections. If everything is a projection of the guilt in our own minds, then what we are seeing in the world is a reflection of our own minds. Now we can choose to see our own judgments and attacks and bring them to the light of truth to be healed. Jesus is not asking us to deny our experience of what we perceive as attacking behaviors; but we are asked to look at our interpretations of those behaviors, which is the meaning we are giving to neutral events. When we turn to the Holy Spirit for His interpretation, He reminds us that what we are seeing is not the truth. He reminds us that only truth is true. We are One. We are all innocent.
 
We may complain about the treatment we receive from others, but the fact is, we actually want people to behave in abusive, rejecting ways so we can see ourselves as innocent. Now, they are the guilty sinners, and we hold the innocence for ourselves. God will punish them instead of us. We have bought our innocence at their expense, which is why, at some level, we are happy to see them as the betrayers and the abusers. Still, at our core, we know we can't get away with this. We still believe in our own guilt and believe that we are deserving of punishment. While we try to escape from that punishment by projecting our sin onto others, we hold the thought that we are bad. Our secret wish is, nevertheless, for others to take the fall for our sins. If we "forgive" them for what they have done, we could fool ourselves into believing they truly are miserable sinners and we, in turn, are saintly. From our superior position of forgiving them and maintaining our false innocence, we hope to feel better about ourselves. The problem is, this never heals the guilt in our own minds but continues to keep us separate from our brothers.
 
Jesus keeps telling us that we are not asked to ". . . forgive the truth." (W.134.3.1) We are not asked to ". . . look past what is there." (W.134.3.2) If we were, we would be ". . . making an illusion true," (W.134.3.2) and if sin were true, forgiveness would have to be a lie. Can you see why we have so much difficulty with forgiveness? If forgiveness is overlooking the truth of something that really happened, then forgiveness itself is a sin because it is then a lie. "It [forgiveness to destroy] says the truth is false, and smiles on the corrupt as if they were as blameless as the grass; as white as snow." (W.134.4.4) "It would see as right the plainly wrong; the loathsome as the good." (W.134.4.6) It would be like trying to imagine an evil person as good. It just can't work. We are trying to see as right something that is plainly wrong. This is our real deception. Once we see that all the behavior we are trying to overlook takes place in a dream, has no real effect, causes no real injury, and causes no one to do anything real, then we are not pardoning anything true. "How can you forgive the sinless and eternally benign." (W.134.2.7)
 
Jesus is not asking us to deny what our body's eyes see or what people do, but he is asking us to look at our interpretation of them as guilty sinners and thus bad people. It is not about denying our judgments. It is only about taking responsibility for the guilt in our minds that we project onto others. There is only our mind, looking back at us. The world mirrors what is in our mind. Be willing today to look at your guilt with the light of truth, without judging yourself for what you see. Our job is to bring our own darkness to the light, recognizing that we are not guilty but only mistaken. We must take responsibility for it and look at it while being gentle with ourselves in the process. We can ask Jesus to help us and go with us into the darkness of our minds, but we can't ask him to take it from us because we are the ones who made it. For him to intervene would be to undermine the power of our own minds. We are the ones who must give it up. Our part is to look at our guilt and be willing to release it to the Holy Spirit.
 
"Truth is God's creation, and to pardon that is meaningless. All truth belongs to Him, reflects His laws and radiates His Love." (W.134.2.4-5) No matter what it looks like in the illusion, the only truth is that we are God's Son, and we share in all His attributes. We simply deceive ourselves if we believe a dream is reality. We have deceived ourselves by believing what we see in the illusion is the truth. "Forgiveness is the only thing that stands for truth in the illusions of the world. It sees their nothingness, and looks straight through the thousand forms in which they may appear. It looks on lies, but it is not deceived." (W.134.7.1-3) "It [the miracle] looks on devastation and reminds the mind that what it sees is false." (W.P.II.What is a Miracle.Q.13.1.3) We think we are guilty and sinful. Jesus tells us, "My brother, what you think is not the truth." (W.134.7.5) We are called to give up these thoughts because once we accept our own innocence, we will see it everywhere because "Projection makes perception. The world you see is what you gave it, nothing more than that." (T.21.I.1.1-2) (ACIM OE T.21.I.1) "It is the witness to your state of mind, the outside picture of an inward condition." (T.21.I.1.5) (ACIM OE T.21.I.1) The world will witness the guilt in our mind or our innocence. It is a perfect mirror of what we are choosing in each moment.
 
Traditional pardon does nothing to remove the thoughts of sin and guilt from our minds. In fact, Jesus says it makes us twice condemned. "Those who are forgiven from the view their sins are real are pitifully mocked and twice condemned; first, by themselves for what they think they did, and once again by those who pardon them." (W.134.5.5) In other words, if you have done something to me, then you are already feeling guilty and will suffer because you think you did something real. This is how you are first mocked. Then, you are mocked again by your own mind because you hold the belief that you do not deserve to be forgiven. If I suffer as a result of your actions, I am letting you know that you don't really deserve my forgiveness. If, in my superior position, I deign to forgive you, you will feel twice mocked because you will feel the condescension of my superior position. True forgiveness says that the guilt you think is true about you is not the truth.
 
When we truly apply this teaching, it is so very freeing. We all have people in our lives whom we see as having hurt us and upset us in big and little ways. The ego would have us see them as the guilty ones. We justify our anger, and ultimately, we may "forgive" them while still holding onto what they have done. If we want to heal our minds, we must bring their "sin" back to our own minds and be willing to have these misperceptions released from our minds. This releases everyone from the bondage of guilt and sin. This is an enlightening experience and very powerful in shifting our minds from wrong-minded to right-minded perception. Nothing has to change in anyone else. Through forgiveness, we are undoing the ego thought system of hate, specialness, selfishness, and attack. We see it was all made up in our own minds, and we can withdraw our investment in it, as it is not the truth.
 
The people with whom we have had great difficulty in our own lives are precisely those who played their role perfectly for our healing. If this world is a classroom for undoing our misperceptions of who we are, then everyone in the classroom plays their role for our benefit. In my family, I was required to take over the mothering and housekeeping role to a large extent. I forfeited my childhood because my mother was not willing to do her part. I learned later that I had a past life where I worshiped God and lived as a martyr. Clearly, there had been a kind of sacrifice I came to heal. Given this to be the case, I had the perfect mother to show me my mistaken choice in my own mind. It was a belief that I had to suffer and make myself worthy of God's love. When I saw how I had chosen this perfect script for my healing, I was able to appreciate the part my mother played, and I was able to let her out of the prison I had put her in. Everything had been perfectly orchestrated for my healing, and I am grateful for it all.
 
Today, when we want to accuse anyone of anything at all, we are given an opportunity to look at the tremendous burden and cost there is to us. We are accusing ourselves of the same thing we see in others, as it is all about our own mind. "There is a simple way to find the door to true forgiveness, and perceive it open wide in welcome. When you feel that you are tempted to accuse someone of sin in any form, do not allow your mind to dwell on what you think he did, for that is self-deception. Ask instead, 'Would I accuse myself of doing this'?" (W.134.9.1-3) We are not denying what we think someone did, but now we are looking at it and asking ourselves, "How does what I am accusing my brother of show up in me?" In other words, the guilt I am projecting onto anyone starts in my own mind. As Jesus says over and over, "As you see him you will see yourself." (T.8.III.4.2) (ACIM OE T.8.IV.19) Whenever we have judged anyone, it is impossible not to make the same judgment of ourselves. Any condemnation of anyone becomes a condemnation of ourselves. If we really believed this, would we ever want to condemn anyone? Would we really want to do this to ourselves once we realize we are only hurting ourselves by condemning others?
 
The figures in our dream were written into our script as the recipients of our attacks so we could be off the hook. This is how the ego actually has us keep the sin while blaming someone else. Thus, someone else pays the price for my existence; yet Jesus wants us to see that we are the ones who pay the price. Now we can use every situation in our lives as a classroom. This is where we can learn to ignore the ego's urgings to see others as guilty. Instead, we turn to Jesus/Holy Spirit who brings a new interpretation to every situation if we truly desire it. Devotion to our healing will motivate us to do this.
 
I have used this practice again and again and have found it helpful in situations where I have found myself judging someone. Whenever I am truly willing to look at my own mind, I can see in myself some version of the guilt I put onto others. For example, when I judge someone for being greedy, I can see areas of my life where greed shows up and where I put my own self-interests above someone else's. When I am willing to turn every judgment around and take responsibility for it, I can find some version of it in myself.
 
Think of someone you have a grievance with and look at your own mind to see if you have some version in you of what you are accusing them of. You will find that you apply the same standard to yourself as you do to your brother. You will believe you should be condemned for the same thing you condemn in him. While we will consciously condemn him, we will unconsciously condemn ourselves for some form of the same thing. This is why we feel so bad about ourselves. It is our own self-attack and self-judgment that we are projecting onto others. It may look different in the form in which it appears. For example, I might be offended by your laissez-faire attitude when you failed to inform me of a cancellation, and I showed up for an event that was not happening. I condemn you for brushing it off as insignificant because I see myself as inconvenienced. I hold myself to a different standard, demanding absolute compliance, never allowing myself to make a mistake. I judge myself for my rigidity in this regard and now project that judgment onto you. If we are to heal our own self-judgments, we must look at every grievance we hold against anyone and take responsibility for our own projections. We think projecting guilt keeps us looking innocent, but as we read in the Lesson yesterday, we are simply polishing our halo while perceiving ". . . its tarnished edges and its rusted core." (W.133.10.1)
 
There are great benefits in doing this practice. We lift a tremendous burden from ourselves when we apply true forgiveness in situations where we are tempted to make judgments. There is such a sense of "deep relief" (W.134.6.1) when we offer forgiveness. "If you have been practicing thus far in willingness and honesty, you will begin to sense a lifting up, a lightening of weight across your chest, a deep and certain feeling of relief. The time remaining should be given to experiencing the escape from all the heavy chains you sought to lay upon your brother, but were laid upon yourself." (W.134.16.3-4) It truly is a gift to ourselves.
 
Whom we are upset with and whom we are judging holds the key to our salvation because they are showing us the unhealed parts of our own minds. When we judge them, we are actually laying chains upon ourselves and keeping us both imprisoned. They are our saviors because they hold the key to our release. Forgiveness truly is a gift to ourselves, and it is always fully justified for all the reasons stated. Forgiveness sees the nothingness of "sin." We look on behavior, which appears in a thousand different forms, (W.134.7.2) but we are not deceived that we are looking at anything real. "It [forgiveness] does not heed the self-accusing shrieks of sinners mad with guilt." (W.134.7.4) "It looks on them with quiet eyes and merely says to them ' My brother, what you think is not the truth ' . " (W.134.7.5) We need to be willing to release our own judgments so we can know our brother is innocent, as are we.
 
"Forgiveness must be practiced, for the world cannot perceive its meaning, nor provide a guide to teach you its beneficence." (W.134.13.1) It is outside of the laws of this world and is in fact, "as alien to the world as is your own reality." (W.134.13.3) It works outside the world of time. "Our practicing becomes the footsteps lighting up the way for all our brothers, who will follow us to the reality we share with them." (W.134.14.3) But for this to be accomplished, we must do the practice. For fifteen minutes, twice today, we ask of the Holy Spirit, Who understands the meaning of forgiveness, "Let me perceive forgiveness as it is." (W.134.14.6) Then let the Holy Spirit bring to mind someone whom you need to forgive.
 
Now, catalog this person's "sins" one by one, without dwelling on any one of them. Then, "Briefly consider all the evil things you thought of him, and each time ask yourself, ' Would I condemn myself for doing this ' ? " (W.134.15.3) Would I want to hold this "sin" against myself and condemn myself for it, just as I condemned him? Determine not to lay this chain upon yourself. Look at what you are condemning in someone and then look inside yourself to see how you are judging yourself for the same thing or some version of it.
 
Forgiveness becomes a daily practice for us when we are willing to do the healing. It is a constant discipline of mind watching. We become vigilant with regard to our thoughts and increasingly see the benefits of increased peace and joy, as we do this work. Allow all thoughts that arise to be brought to truth. With honesty, openness, and willingness, look at your judgments, anger, and frustrations that come up with anyone today. Put them on your inner altar where they will be easily dismissed by the Holy Spirit who will render the verdict---you are innocent. Trust in His healing light to shine away your grievances. Remind yourself, "No one is crucified alone, and yet no one can enter Heaven by himself." (W.134.17.7) We can't enter Heaven at the expense of anyone. We are not separate. We share the same Self.

Love and blessings, Sarah
PAUSED FOR WEEKEND   
A Course in Miracles
TEXT
ACIM Original Edition
Chapter Twelve

The Problem of Guilt  

   Voice and Music by Martin Weber, CIMS SonShip Radio
I. Introduction         

1 The ultimate purpose of projection, as the ego uses it, is always to get rid of guilt. Yet, characteristically, the ego attempts to get rid of guilt from its viewpoint only, for much as the ego wants to retain guilt, you find it intolerable, since guilt stands in the way of your remembering God, Whose pull is so strong that you cannot resist it. On this issue, then, the deepest split of all occurs, for if you are to retain guilt, as the ego insists, you cannot be you. Only by persuading you that it is you could the ego possibly induce you to project guilt and thereby keep it in your mind.
 
2 Yet consider how strange a solution the ego's arrangement is. You project guilt to get rid of it, but you are actually merely concealing it. You do experience guilt feelings, but you have no idea why. On the contrary, you associate them with a weird assortment of ego ideals which the ego claims you have failed. Yet you have no idea that you are failing the Son of God by seeing him as guilty. Believing you are no longer you, you do not realize that you are failing yourself.

II. Crucifixion by Guilt   
 
3 The darkest of your hidden cornerstones holds your belief in guilt from your awareness. For in that dark and secret place is the realization that you have betrayed God's Son by condemning him to death. You do not even suspect this murderous but insane idea lies hidden there, for the ego's destructive urge is so intense that nothing short of the crucifixion of God's Son can ultimately satisfy it. It does not know who the Son of God is because it is blind. Yet let it perceive guiltlessness anywhere, and it will try to destroy it because it is afraid.
 
4 Much of the ego's strange behavior is directly attributable to its definition of guilt. To the ego, the guiltless are guilty. Those who do not attack are its "enemies" because, by not valuing its interpretation of salvation, they are in an excellent position to let it go. They have approached the darkest and deepest cornerstone in the ego's foundation, and while the ego can withstand your raising all else to question, it guards this one secret with its life, for its existence does depend on keeping this secret. So it is this secret that we must look upon calmly, for the ego cannot protect you against truth, and in its presence the ego is dispelled.
 
5 In the calm light of truth, let us recognize that you believe you have crucified God's Son. You have not admitted to this "terrible" secret because you still wish to crucify him if you could find him. Yet the wish has hidden him from you because it is very fearful, and you are afraid to find him. You have handled this wish to kill yourself by not knowing who you are and identifying with something else. You have projected guilt blindly and indiscriminately, but you have not uncovered its source. For the ego does want to kill you, and if you identify with it, you must believe its goal is yours.
 
6 We once said that the crucifixion is the symbol of the ego. When it was confronted with the real guiltlessness of God's Son, it did attempt to kill him, and the reason it gave was that guiltlessness is blasphemous to God. To the ego the ego is god, and guiltlessness must be interpreted as the final guilt which fully justifies murder. You do not yet understand that all your fear of this course stems ultimately from this interpretation, but if you will consider your reactions to it, you will become increasingly convinced that this is so.
 
7 This course has explicitly stated that its goal for you is happiness and peace. Yet you are afraid of it. You have been told again and again that it will make you free, yet you react as if it is trying to imprison you. Most of the time you dismiss it, but you do not dismiss the ego's thought system. You have seen its results and you still lack faith in it. You must, then, believe that by not learning the course, you are protecting yourself. And you do not realize that it is only your guiltlessness which can protect you.
 
8 The Atonement has always been interpreted as the release from guilt, and this is correct if it is understood. Yet even when I have interpreted it for you, you have rejected it and have not accepted it for yourself. You have recognized the futility of the ego and its offerings, but though you do not want the ego, you do not look upon the alternative with gladness. You are afraid of redemption, and you believe it will kill you. Make no mistake about the depth of your fear. For you believe that in the presence of truth you will turn on yourself and destroy yourself.
 
9 Little children, this is not so. Your "guilty secret" is nothing, and if you will but bring it to the light, the light will dispel it. And then no dark cloud will remain between you and the remembrance of your Father, for you will remember His guiltless Son, who did not die, because he is immortal. And you will see that you were redeemed with him and have never been separated from him. In this understanding lies your remembering, for it is the recognition of love without fear. There will be great joy in Heaven on your homecoming, and the joy will be yours. For the redeemed son of man is the guiltless Son of God, and to recognize him is your redemption.
 
 
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  To GIVE and to RECEIVE are One in Truth.  Lesson 108

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