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Ask the Experts
Our experts Dr. Mary Jane Minkin,  Dr. Mache Seibel,  Nurse Barb,  Dr. Michael Goodman,   Dr. Verna Brooks-McKenzie, Dr. Murray Freedman, Francis Barbieri, Jr. DDS, Liz Allen, Dr. MeLanie Modjoros,, Dr. Natalya Danilyants, Dr. Paul Mackoul, Dr. Barb DePree, Pam Rand RD, LDN, CDOE, RYT, Dr. Rupen Baxi, and
Karen Giblin field questions from our members.
Submit your question.

Your Questions Answered
Dear Red Hot Mamas,

Can you please help me?  I think I may have dry eyes.  What are the symptoms? 

Thank you.  I love your website!

Rose
Dear Rose,

If you have one or more of the following symptoms, you may have chronic dry eyes:
  • A persistent dry, irritated, gritty feeling
  • Burning or itching
  • Pain or redness
  • Excessive tearing
  • Intermittent blurry vision
  • Sensitivity to light
  • Eye fatigue
  • Distress that disturbs your ability that requires your visual attention such as reading or using the computer
  • A mucous discharge
Dry eye disease is quite common.   Some ways to ease mild to moderate dry eyes are to use a humidifier year round; wear sunglasses; blink often when using a computer; avoid smoking, dusty environments and stay hydrated.  Many people find that over the counter artificial tears are helpful.  If these lifestyle tips don't relieve your dry eye, your ophthalmologist may recommend medications or surgery to help you depending on the severity of your dry eyes. 

Thank you for writing to Red Hot Mamas.  Hope this information is of help to you.

For the newest and latest menopause information visit  www.redhotmamas.org
FROM THE EDITOR...KAREN GIBLIN 
"My friends are my estate"
-                Emily Dickinson
Dear Red Hot Mamas,

It has always been my passion to create a caring community through Red Hot Mamas.  It may be selfish because of my own need for surrounding myself with support, but it is also an attempt to help so many other kindred spirits who are experiencing or have experienced menopause.

Menopause can be stormy both physically and mentally.  Belonging to a community can provide an innocent safe harbor for those challenges we face at menopause. 

As I get older, I realize how complete having a community makes me feel.  And, I hope I will inspire you to build your layer of connections with others at menopause. 

Attending Red Hot Mamas programs, or logging onto our website www.redhotmamas.org which hosts a community forum on www.inspire.com, has helped thousands of women intimately connect with other women from all walks of life.  This is an example of how you can build a support network for yourself.  Many women cherish the relationships they have built through these resources. 

So, why not surround yourself with support?  Red Hot Mamas has resources that are at your disposal. 

Thank you with all my heart for having changed my life with your kindnesses and support.  In my moments of reflection, I have gratitude knowing you all are there, reading what I have to say, and utilizing the tools I have provided to you for support.  I take everlasting comfort in that. 

To your good health,

Karen Giblin
THE RED HOT MAMAS NAMED ONE OF THE BEST MENOPAUSE BLOGS OF 2017!
We are pleased to announce that  Healthline.com has selected the Red Hot Mamas as one of their Best Menopause Blogs of 2017!

The Red Hot Mamas was included in their list as being one of the most up-to-date, informative, and inspiring blogs that aims to uplift readers through education and personal stories.  We are so happy to have made their list!

NAVIGATING MIDLIFE LOVE
Contributed by Dr. Barb DePree
Red Hot Mamas Medical Expert
 
"Midlife: when the Universe grabs your shoulders and tells you "I'm not f-ing around, use the gifts you were given."
- Brene Brown
I don't know about you, but I love seeing old people in love. The way they hold hands toddling down the street. The way they go about their daily tasks having made peace with the past. I think it's a miracle when love lasts this long and ages this gracefully.
Relationships encounter lots of challenges in the course of a lifetime, but from my own observations, which are supported by the data, the midlife transition, that somewhat fraught passage, is nothing to sneeze at. Menopause aside, the awareness of time passing often arrives unexpectedly and with surprising intensity, leading both men and women to make decisions that belie common sense, compared to which the red corvette might be among the most benign. For example, the highest divorce rates from 1990 to 2010 occurred among couples over 50, according to a study by Bowling Green State University sociologists. Concurrently, cohabitation rates among over-50s tripled from 2000 to 2013.
Whatever the cause-longer lifespan, greater economic freedom for women especially, cultural change-the fact is that something shifts when folks approach that midlife marker, and it's often the woman who agitates for change.
This isn't necessarily a bad thing. Periodic reevaluation and readjustment is healthy. So is honestly confronting ingrained habits and responses that ultimately stifle intimacy and deflect communication. Like a vintage car, most lengthy relationships require a major or minor tune-up now and then.
Still, midlife often opens a Pandora's box of restlessness and dissatisfaction-the perennial is this all there is?  What happened to the passion? Am I missing out? Do I really have to endure the quirks and habits of this individual for the rest of my life? What is really important? What dreams have I buried?
Those existential questions herald an important crossroad-the frontier between youth and maturity. With regard to your most intimate relationship, you can:
1.      Invest in what you have. Work on ways to reinvigorate and reignite the flame. This won't be the passion of your youth, but something burnished by time and familiarity. A golden glow rather than red-hot embers. If your relationship is solid and things have just cooled off with time and neglect, it's worth investing for the future.
2.      Reinvent it. Sometimes a creative change eases the chronic irritations that can erode a long-term relationship. Some couples successfully stay together but give themselves extra space with separate households, for example, or planned time apart, or splitting the daily finances and decision-making that cause problems. Rejiggering the quotidian foundation might ease the annoyances enough to allow a couple to value and appreciate the familiarity and intimacy that has developed over many years.
3.      Scrap it. This is a very tough judgment call, but some relationships have never worked well; some matches are misses; and sacrificing the years you have left may not be worth it for one or both of you. Dismantling a lifetime is a heartbreaker (or-maybe a release), but you may end up in a better place when the dust settles. 
Major life transitions should never be done in haste. They deserve a considerable degree of mature reflection. We all know people who make fast and sometimes rash decisions in the throes of passion or as a desperate attempt to seize a day that appears to be slipping away. Amid the landmines of midlife, the baby is sometimes thrown out with the bathwater.
Here's a little reality check.
However irresistible the urge, don't blow up your life. Wait. Reflect. Seek counsel. The demand to create something more authentic, to realize cherished dreams, is real and should be honored. But the best path forward probably isn't over the shattered pieces of your present life.
You still have time. You can still seek your bliss, optimize potential, maybe with more freedom and effectiveness now that the kids are grown and you're more self-confident. Start a business. Learn Chinese. Travel. The world is your oyster-just in a different shell than when you were younger.
Romantic passion is a landmine. Passion is powerful, blinding, and temporary. You can't make good decisions in its throes. And even the most incredibly passionate relationship will inevitably fade with the demands of daily life. White-hot passion doesn't last; it's not meant to. And when reality checks in, the dirty socks on the floor look the same. Trust me on this one.
Talk to someone if you need to. A therapist. A friend. You can't see things clearly (even if you think you can). Trust the counsel of someone wise and objective.
Don't freeze out your partner. However restless and unsettled you may feel, your partner is probably not the enemy. You want to elicit support, not resistance. Anyone would feel threatened when cracks appear in the foundation of a secure life. Anyone would feel uncomprehending and maybe hurt. If, however, you are able to communicate what you're feeling, even if it's confused and incoherent, at least there's a bridge rather than a canyon.
"This too shall pass," writes blogger Deb Blum in "Tips for Dealing with a Midlife Crisis." "It will pass more gracefully and completely if everyone is gentle and loving and gives the space necessary to get through this time."
And that study about over-50 divorce rate also found that the longer a marriage lasts, the less likely it is to end in divorce. So those old folks holding hands in the park? The real deal. 
Dr. Barb DePree gynecologist, NAMS certified menopausal provider and founder of the website middlesexmd.com
JUNE 22, 2017 EVENT | FIBROIDS & ENDOMETRIOSIS: A PHYSICIAN AND PATIENT PANEL DISCUSSION
MEET WOMEN WHO HAVE EXPERIENCED THE CIGC LIFE-CHANGING REVOLUTIONARY TECHNIQUES
 
Join The Center For Innovative GYN Cares world-renowned specialists (and Red Hot Mamas Experts),   Dr. Paul MacKoul, Dr. Natalya Danilyants, Dr. Rupen Baxi and their patients for an exclusive event, Thursday, June 22 from 6PM to 8PM at the iHeartMedia Performance Studio on Rockville Pike.
EVENT DETAILS
WHO SHOULD ATTEND: Women who've been told they need a hysterectomy or myomectomy; women suffering from GYN conditions like fibroids and endometriosis, considering minimally invasive options for treatment. 
 
WHEN: Thursday June 22nd, 2017, 6:00 PM to 8:00 PM

WHERE: iHeartMedia Performance Space, 1801 Rockville Pike, Rockville, MD 20852

PARKING & METRO: The garage at the iHeartMedia Performance Space will be available for free after 5:45 PM. The iHeartMedia studio is close to the Twinbrook Metro Station off of the Red Line.

DETAILS: Panel discussion with the world-renowned CIGC specialists and their patients. Speakers will share their incredible experiences with DualPortGYN and LAAM procedures for hysterectomy, fibroid removal, endometriosis excision and pelvic adhesion removal. Attendees are encouraged to ask questions.
JOIN US
Women with complex GYN conditions often delay treatment due to various concerns about having surgery. Concerns about recovery time, pain, loss of femininity. This is your chance to see and hear how the CIGC techniques outperform all other types of GYN surgery, and why alternative non-surgical treatments like UFE can negatively affect fertility.

Learn how the CIGC minimally invasive GYN specialists developed their exclusive laparoscopic techniques DualPortGYN and LAAM to improve the lives of women who have suffered from pelvic pain, abnormal bleeding and infertility. Get the facts about the benefits of minimally invasive GYN surgery at CIGC directly from women just like you.

SIGN-UP TODAY
The event is free, but seating is limited, so sign-up today. Fill out the form on the CIGC event page: https://innovativegyn.com/june22event/ or call 888-787-4379, option 2. 
  
GENITOURINARY SYNDROME OF MENOPAUSE 
Contributed by Dr. Verna Brooks-McKenzie
Red Hot Mamas Medical Expert
Menopause is a normal natural event which occurs during the transition from the reproductive years to post menopause as a result of loss of ovarian follicular function usually due to aging. Surgical menopause is the result of removal of both ovaries. Classic symptoms are hot flashes, night sweats and sleep disorder.
 
Genitourinary syndrome of menopause (GSM) unlike the term  vulvo vaginal atrophy, refers to the signs and symptoms affecting all the genito pelvic anatomic structures such as the mons pubis, labia majora and minora, clitoris, vestibule, introitus (vaginal opening), vagina, urethra and bladder. The symptoms progress, do not resolve without treatment and may have an adverse effects on sexual function resulting in relationship discord. Many women do not report their symptoms because of embarrassment and some view them as an inevitable part of aging.
 
Signs
  • Loss of / sparse pubic hair
  • Thinning of vulvar skin
  • Mons pubis, labia majora and minora decrease in size
  • Fusion of labia minora (in elderly sexually inactive women)
  • Receding  clitoris (may affect orgasm)
  • Loss of vaginal rugae (folds)
  • Vaginal shortening
  • Thinning of vaginal epithelium (lining)
  • Shortening of urethra
Symptoms
  • Dyspareunia (painful sex, especially on penetration)
  • Lack of vaginal lubrication
  • Genital dryness
  • Burning, irritation in vagina
  • Recurrent urinary tract infection
  • Incontinence
  • Frequency of urination
Treatment
Education about the cause is important. Vaginal Estrogen (creams, vaginal ring, tablet) is most effective. For mild symptoms vaginal moisturizers inserted into the vagina  to provide hydration can be used. Lubricants used during sex, vaginal dilators and having regular sex are other options. Ospemifene (non estrogen) taken orally is FDA approved for the treatment of moderate to severe GSM.  

Dr. Verna Brooks McKenzie is an Obstetrician and Gynecologist and is Certified by the North American Menopause Society as a Menopause Practitioner. She has over 30 years of experience in training , lecturing and public speaking. She is an advocate for women's health and is a board member for Red Hot Mamas. 
   
Red Hot Mamas North America, Inc.
227 Church Road
Bridgewater, NJ 08807