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Living Differently is a newsletter of tips, ideas and information about grief, life and living after grief.
Grieving, like living, involves all areas of life; emotional, cognitive, physical, spiritual, social, relational, nature and universal. We delve into all these areas plus offer messages from the other side to help you in your journey.
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With much gratitude,
Chris
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Note From Chris
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Relationships: Inside, Outside and Beyond Us
It seems that connections with our loved ones and the physical/spiritual relationship within our self has been the focus of many discussions as well as reminders in my life lately.
So, I am grateful to and thank my angels and Guides for these reminders, for these synchronicities and ultimately for the help with this month's newsletter. Because when I don't have the bandwidth or the time to pull it all together, they are always there to give a helping hand.
And they did! And I believe they want to demonstrate what all of you have and can do too. We all have a variety of relationships with our helpers on the other side as well as the one we have with ourselves. And from what they started speaking of this month, I do believe the relationship you have with YOU is where they want to focus this month.
So, let's take a different look at our relationships inside - outside - and beyond us...
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Living Differently Tip
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Living Differently Tip:
The following is from my ongoing messages/lessons/guidance shared by and received from the non-physical perspective ...my Guides, aka. Maxx
This message holds a mini-lesson for all of us...
(usually I hear a phrase, a subject or they make a comment and then they explain their lesson...)
Your Relationship Within
You have your connections outside of yourself but the connection to you is or should be your major concern. You connect to you before you attach to others. These relationships are inclusive and exclusive. You must develop the internal relationship to you before you can develop external connections. It is within the boundaries of you that you know how to create not only strong (I thought strong) but love-based relationship. Otherwise they are based in fear and they will not have a firm foundation of you. Knowing you on all levels should be the mantra for creating connections outside yourself. You are the foundation and the building complex that will radiate genuine love toward others. The firmer your own foundation, the stronger your radiating love will be to establish and maintain bonds with others. Develop you before walls are created around you, by you. Experience you at all the levels as what you will discover is beyond imagination, limitless in the possibilities. Don't give up on your journey, there is gold to be discovered in you. Let yourself find your light within.
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Zac Comment:
They said it all. Your process, your journey is your discovery of the You, your light within. You can avoid or delay or choose to ignore it- however your will sees fit. (she was right today about your free- will*) Your will will decide for you. Having knowledge to move you will prepare you and guide you. Then just choose. It's for you, why not? Dig in to discover what is there. It's you. Why fear that? (he was being so formal to this point then took a step back to say this) Take the "night-night"* off your head and allow yourself to see better. Your light shines better without a cover.
(* a friend stated today that free-will trumps our plans
*"night-night" was his blanket as a little guy)
Your spirit helpers are with you all the time, they want to help you and they have a way of letting you know in a way you will understand...
Your
job is to learn to trust them! You can have the comfort of your spirit guides and loved ones to ease the burdens of your physical life. I encourage you to embrace your connections.
Do you have questions? Please let me know..
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Your Path of Spirituality and Life
In the grief journey, many grievers may find themselves unable to recognize a direction let alone feel any control in their lives. Experiencing the loss of a loved one can create a void so vast that some people are not only unable to fill that void but cannot even fathom possibilities to do so.
The early feelings of helplessness and hopelessness hinder many grievers from seeing beyond the current moment. And when life is out of control, confusion disallows for clear thinking to recognize any decision-making power one has.
Therefore, a clear path is rarely recognizable to alleviate the pain of loss let alone identify a map to guide you through it.
Many grievers discover that lack, that loss, that void can be approached through their spirituality. Possibly, their faith and hope creates a direction for lost or negative energy where previously none existed.
But what do you do with that hope and faith and spirituality?
Where Do I Go From Here?
Now that you have heard that others have turned to their spirituality to address their pain, you may have several questions before understanding the mechanics, the how-tos and the whys.
Spirituality may be your option but how do you use it?
You'll need to determine what the practices of spirituality are to be able to incorporate them into your life. This knowledge begins a process of creating markers in your path that can bring some relief to the stream of pain. These experiences, or markers in your path, allows for brief positive moments of awareness.
It is through your awareness of these moments that you notice more options, more possibilities and other choices even exist. Noticing your options is empowering. You discover you have choices. You can choose your direction. You can choose to remain in your current situation or you can choose a different route.
There is no "right" way to live, only methods that can assist you in finding your path. You have to light your own path for you along the way to establish it as your path. You have tools inside you that, by your discovery of them, you can light your own path and show you ways of discovering more of what you already possess.
Once you have a glimpse of your path, your energy will move you to desire more of what you are seeing and feeling and you begin to see possibilities in your life. Possibilities feed your hope and faith necessary to continue on your path.
It is this path of discovery of you that unfolds more of your journey.
Discovery may be slow because of fear, lack of understanding or identifying the tools inside of you or not choosing forward movement in your journey. These detours will distract you from seeing your own light which is how you recognize your personal journey of discovery.
The Spiritual and Physical Life After Grief
You create this discovering you process when you allow for brief breaks in your pain, which in turn creates stepping stones toward building your new foundation of the renewal of your old self.
Pain can be a great teacher. Pain can lead you to this journey of discovering why you chose this physical life. And, while you are doing this major life work, you are doing a major piece of soul work.
So in the larger perspective of living, by opening your heart to help you in your self-discovery process, you not only allow for a shift from your grieving journey to your healing journey but you encourage your soul's growth.
As you allow for your expansion and development, your spirit and your physical (self) will work in tandem to connect you with your awesomeness to your world.
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An Easy Stress-Reducing Meditation
Breathwalking is an easy yoga exercise that is a very useful tool to place in your toolbox as it does not need equipment, space or very much time. What it does take is a little concentration, commitment and focus. And all can be done is a short amount of time.
Who wouldn't want to relieve some stress, get rid of headaches, improve your sleep and learn to breathe better? Here's how to combine breath, walking and using a mantra.
- Walk for 5 minutes, keeping spine straight as you walk.
- Inhale deeply to a count of 4 and exhale to a count of 4, paying attention to your breath and synchronizing your steps and breath.
- Silently start to say the universal sounds of Sa, Ta, Na, Ma with the inhale and exhale.
- As you repeat these sounds, move the fingers on both hands (simultaneously) Sa: touching your thumb to index finger, Ta: thumb to middle finger, Na: thumb to ring finger Ma: thumb to pinky. (using about 5# of light pressure)
- Relax and breathe normally as you continue walking for 3 minutes
- Repeat the focused breath and walking (extend the time to 10 minutes if you wish)
- Relax and walk unfocused for as long as you wish...
This coordinated breathing energizes you, (increased oxygen intake) calms your mind, expands your awareness, enhances your mood, keeps your mind busy and activates the energy meridians in each of your fingers.
Sounds like a pretty easy way to integrate the energy in your body, doesn't it?
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Gratitude For Your Physical Being
Living and practicing your spirituality is accomplished in a variety of ways. Gratitude is one important part of this practice and a significant part of that gratitude practice should include the self-care of your body. Sometimes that care can be overlooked when you are focused on seeking, learning and understanding your new spirituality.
It's important to remember your physicality in your spirituality!
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Get Better Sleep By Dimming Your Screen
Did you know there is a free computer program that will dim your computer screen which just might allow you to sleep better?
The program is called F.lux
(download here) and it automatically adjusts your computer screen light intensity at dusk. It makes a noticeable difference as well as comforts your eyes from night eye strain. During the day your screen may look like the sun but at night it changes to look like indoor lighting instead of that blue screen we've gotten used to.
You'll notice your curser is still blue and therefore, you'll be able to notice the difference your eyes are experiencing.
Studies show that the human circadian timing is sensitive to seasonal changes and solar time and adapts to seasonal changes in natural light/dark cycles. It also demonstrates that our electrical lighting delays the human circadian clock. Therefore, exposure to a dimmer computer screen just might help your body adjust your seasonal circadian rhythm and your sleep timing.
(I love it!)
I know, while everyone else is talking about spring and new growth, it might be difficult to imagine your own new growth, let alone, wondering how do I walk in both my physical and my spiritual worlds at the same time and how do I maintain my own physical existence while maintaining my connection with my loved one? Indeed, it is not a simple process, but little by little, being aware of you in your process and using these tips and ideas, life can change. Wishing you moments of peace.
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and this month's a final thought...
I wish you a month of noticing your physical, your spiritual and your new you...
If you have questions, comments or subjects you'd like addressed in this newsletter, please let us know...
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Please visit my blog here. I'd love to hear your comments or questions or have you share your experiences of your continued relationship with your loved one.
For a whole lot of years now we have been sharing information about signs, celebrating your child's birthday, dreams, pet loss, parental loss, ADCs, continuing relationships, conversations with the other side, holiday grief, bereaved parents' grief and a whole lot more!
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Chris Mulligan is an intuitive grief guide, teacher and author of Afterlife Agreements: A Gift From Beyond who is passionate about inspiring and guiding others to choose to live differently after grief, to change their pain to hope and their suffering to living on. Her passion is fueled by her own transformation when her youngest son, Zac died in 2000 and she found herself enduring a shattered world she did not expect to inhabit. Receiving guidance through signs and communication from her son and other spirits, her life path shifted from living in grief to living on. She discovered her truth when she chose to open her heart and live life differently. From that place, she fearlessly created an abundant life full of gifts, gratitude and grace. A MS in Clinical Child, Youth, and Family Work, 25 years of Adoption Social Work, hospice volunteering, facilitating grief support groups and being her parents' end of life and transitional caregiver have taught her about pain and peace. She frequently speaks on panels and workshops for the bereaved and those working with the bereaved. She loves spending time with her husband and family of two dogs, Nina and Sam, four children and four grandchildren. She has been receiving images and messages from those on the other side for over 16 years and is currently writing a book incorporating their teachings. Go to http://www.Afterlifebooks.com to learn more.
With much gratitude, Chris |
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