Lesson 136
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Now Approximates Eternity
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   A COURSE IN MIRACLES
  CH 12 "THE PROBLEM OF GUILT"
IV. HEALING AND TIME     

27 Now has no meaning to the ego. The present merely reminds it of past hurts, and it reacts to the present as if it were the past. The ego cannot tolerate release from the past, and although the past is no more, the ego tries to preserve its image by responding as if it were present. Thus it dictates reactions to those you meet now from a past reference point, obscuring their present reality. In effect, if you follow the ego's dictates, you will react to your brothers as though they were someone else, and this will surely prevent you from perceiving them as they are. And you will receive messages from them out of your own past because, by making it real in the present, you are forbidding yourself to let it go. You thus deny yourself the message of release that every brother offers you now.
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DAILY LESSONS
SonShip Workbook
L e s s o n  136
  Sickness is a defense against the truth.

* IAMBIC PENTAMETER BEGINS*
  
< AUDIO> <VIDEO>
Voice and Music by CIMS SonShip Radio    
 
No one can heal unless he understands 
what purpose sickness seems to serve. For then  
he understands as well its purpose has  
no meaning. Being causeless and without  
a meaningful intent of any kind,  
it cannot be at all. When this is seen,  
healing is automatic. It dispels  
this meaningless illusion by the same  
approach which carries all of them to truth,  
and merely leaves them there to disappear.   

Sickness is not an accident. Like all  
defenses, it is an insane device  
for self deception. And like all the rest  
its purpose is to hide reality,  
attack it, change it, render it inept,  
distort it, twist it, or reduce it to  
a little pile of unassembled parts.  
The aim of all defenses is to keep  
the truth from being whole. The parts are seen  
as if each one were whole within itself.

Defenses are not unintentional,  
nor are they made without awareness. They  
are secret magic wands you wave when truth  
appears to threaten what you would believe.  
They seem to be unconscious but because  
of the rapidity with which you choose  
to use them. In that second, even less,  
in which the choice is made, you recognize  
exactly what you would attempt to do,  
and then proceed to think that it is done.  
 
Who but yourself evaluates a threat,  
decides escape is necessary, and  
sets up a series of defenses to  
reduce the threat that has been judged as real?  
All this cannot be done unconsciously.  
But afterwards your plan requires that  
you must forget you made it, so it seems  
to be external to your own intent;  
a happening beyond your state of mind,  
an outcome with a real effect on you,  
instead of one effected by your self. |   

It is this quick forgetting of the part  
you play in making your "reality"  
which makes defenses seem to be beyond  
your own control. But what you have forgot  
can be remembered, given willingness  
to reconsider the decision which  
is doubly shielded by oblivion.  
Your not remembering is but the sign  
that this decision still remain in force,  
as far as your desires are concerned.

Mistake this not for fact. Defenses must  
make facts unrecognizable. They aim  
at doing this, and this they seem to do. |  
Every defense takes fragments of the whole,  
assembles them without regard to all  
their true relationships, and thus constructs  
illusions of a whole that is not there.  
It is this process which imposes threat,  
and not whatever outcome may result.

When parts are wrested from the whole and seen  
as separate and as wholes within themselves,  
they become symbols standing for attack  
upon the whole, successful in effect,  
and never to be seen as whole again.  
And yet you have forgotten that they stand  
but for your own decision of what should  
be real, to take the place of what is real. |

Sickness is a decision. It is not  
a thing that happens to you quite unsought,  
which makes you weak and brings you suffering.  
It is a choice you make, a plan you lay  
when for an instant truth arises in  
your own deluded mind, and all your world  
appears to totter and prepare to fall.  
Now are you sick that truth may go away,  
and threaten your establishments no more. |

How do you think that sickness can succeed  
in shielding you from truth? Because it proves  
the body is not separate from you,  
and so you must be sep'rate from the truth.  
You suffer pain because the body does,  
and in this pain are you made one with it.  
Thus is your "true" identity preserved,  
and the strange, haunting thought that you might be  
something beyond this little pile of dust  
silenced and stilled. For see, this dust can make  
you suffer, twist your limbs and stop your heart,  
commanding you to die and cease to be.   

Thus is the body stronger than the truth,  
which asks you live but cannot overcome  
your choice to die. And so the body is  
more powerful than Everlasting Life,  
Heav'n more frail than hell, and God's design  
for the salvation of His Son opposed  
by a decision stronger than His Will.  
His Son is dust, the Father incomplete,  
and chaos sits in triumph on His throne.  
 
Such is your planning for your own defense.  
And you believe that Heaven quails before  
such mad attacks as these, with God made blind  
by your illusions, truth turned into lies,  
and all the universe made slaves to laws  
which your defenses would impose on it.  
Yet who believes illusions but the one  
who made them up? Who else can see them and  
react to them as if they were the truth?   

God knows not of your plans to change His Will.  
The universe remains unheeding of  
the laws by which you thought to govern it.  
And Heaven has not bowed to hell, nor life  
to death. You can but choose to think you die,  
or suffer sickness or distort the truth  
in any way. What is created is  
apart from all of this. Defenses are  
plans to defeat what cannot be attacked.  
What is unalterable cannot change.  
And what is wholly sinless cannot sin.   

Such is the simple truth. It does not make  
appeal to might nor triumph. It does not  
command obedience, nor seek to prove  
how pitiful and futile your attempts  
to plan defenses which would alter it.  
Truth merely wants to give you happiness,  
for such its purpose is. Perhaps it sighs  
a little when you throw away its gifts,  
and yet it knows with perfect certainty  
that what God wills for you must be received.   

It is this fact which demonstrates that time  
is an illusion. For it lets you think  
what God has given you is not the truth  
right now, as it must be. The Thoughts of God  
are quite apart from time. For time is but  
another meaningless defense you made  
against the truth. Yet what God wills is here,  
and you remain as He created you. |

Truth has a power far beyond defense,  
for no illusions can remain where it  
has been allowed to enter. And it comes  
to any mind that would lay down its arms  
and cease to play with folly. It is found  
at any time; today, if you will choose  
to practice giving welcome to the truth. |  
This is our aim today. And we will give  
a quarter of an hour twice to ask  
the truth to come to us and set us free.

And truth will come, for it has never been  
apart from us. It merely waits for just  
this invitation which we give today.  
We introduce it with a healing prayer  
to help us rise above defensiveness,  
and let truth be as it has always been:

" Sickness is a defense against the truth. 
I will accept the truth of what I am, 
And let my mind be wholly healed today." |   

Healing will flash across your open mind  
as peace and truth arise to take the place  
of war and vain imaginings. There will  
be no dark corners sickness can conceal  
and keep defended from the light of truth.  
There will be no dim figures from your dreams,  
nor their obscure and meaningless pursuits  
with double purposes insanely sought,  
remaining in your mind. It will be healed  
of all the sickly wishes that it tried  
to authorize the body to obey. |   

Now is the body healed because the source  
of sickness has been opened to relief.  
And you will recognize you practiced well  
by this; the body should not feel at all.  
If you have been successful, there will be  
no sense of feeling ill or feeling well,  
of pain or pleasure. No response at all  
is in the mind to what the body does.  
Its usefulness remains, and nothing more. |

Perhaps you do not realize that this  
removes the limits you had placed upon  
the body by the purposes you gave  
to it. As these are laid aside, the strength  
the body has will always be enough  
to serve all truly useful purposes.  
The body's health is fully guaranteed  
because it is not limited by time,  
by weather or fatigue, by food and drink,  
or any laws you made it serve before.  
You need do nothing now to make it well,  
for sickness has become impossible. |

Yet this protection needs to be preserved  
by careful watching. If you let your mind  
harbor attack thoughts, yield to judgment or  
make plans against uncertainties to come,  
you have again misplaced yourself, and made  
a bodily identity which will  
attack the body, for the mind is sick. =

Give instant remedy, should this occur,  
by not allowing your defensiveness  
to hurt you longer. Do not be confused  
about what must be healed, but tell yourself:

" I have forgotten what I really am, 
For I mistook my body for myself. 
Sickness is a defense against the truth, 
But I am not a body. And my mind 
Cannot attack. So I can not be sick."
 

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ACIM Edmonton - Sarah's Reflections 
ACIM Edmonton, CA
LESSON 136
Sickness is a defense against the truth.
 
Sarah's Commentary:

Following yesterday's Lesson about the way we defend ourselves against future possibilities through our planning, we are told in this Lesson that we also defend ourselves against the truth by being sick. The purpose of sickness is to hide the truth, attack and distort reality, (W.136.2.3) and prove that we are actually bodies. "You suffer pain because the body does, and in this pain are you made one with it." (W.136.8.3) As more truth dawns on our mind, the ego becomes more threatened. This is again a very long Lesson and very important but can be difficult to understand. Each year that I study the Course, more glimmers of understanding come through; although sometimes, it is still a struggle. It does not qualify as easy reading! What has been helpful for me in getting this Lesson is to see that anything in the illusion that I still have an investment in is a defense against the truth.
 
So, yes, while sickness is a defense, so is judgment, anger, jealousy, perfectionism, withdrawal, arrogance, specialness, depression, victimhood, and on and on. In other words, whenever we engage in anything in the illusion, believing in its reality, we are keeping love at bay. We are saying that what is real is whatever we are holding in our thoughts and thus God's Love can't be real. This is because these states are mutually exclusive. We are either choosing Heaven or hell, a grievance or forgiveness. The ego is all about keeping us invested in the illusion. Sickness is a way to do just that. I know that when I am sick, the body is very much at the forefront of my focus. I identify with my sick body as what I am. A sick body is a demonstration of our vulnerability. In fact, Jesus tells us, "It is a witness to your frailty, your vulnerability, and your extreme need to depend on external guidance." (T.8.VIII.6.2) (ACIM OE T.8.VIII.76) We certainly experience this to be the case when we are sick and seek outside ourselves for respite.
 
This is the purpose sickness seems to serve, but it is a purpose that has no meaning because Jesus tells us that sickness is causeless. "For then he understands as well its purpose has no meaning. Being causeless and without a meaningful intent of any kind, it cannot be at all." (W.136.1.2-3) If the sin in the mind can be said to be the cause of sickness, and sin has no reality, then the effect (sickness) can't have any reality. It must be an illusion. Sickness can ' t be real since it is caused by a false belief in the mind. Another way to look at this is: Because the separation from God never happened, everything, including sickness, is an illusion. "When this is seen, healing is automatic." (W.136.1.4) This tells us that healing is not of the body. Only the mind's false belief in sin and guilt is what needs to be healed.
 
Guilt is projected onto the body, and the body becomes sick. Now we believe that there is a problem in the body. This is why Jesus says, "Like all defenses, it is an insane device for self-deception." (W.136.2.2) We are deceived into believing that sickness is in the body and not the mind. We are further deceived into believing we are a body. Thus, it works effectively as a defense against the truth and hides and distorts reality. "Sickness is not an accident. Like all defenses, it is an insane device for self-deception. And like all the rest, its purpose is to hide reality, attack it, change it, render it inept, distort it, twist it, or reduce it to a little pile of unassembled parts." (W.136.2.1-3)
 
We believe that there are things that happen to us in the world over which we have no control. We look for the cause outside ourselves. Jesus says, "Sickness is a decision. It is not a thing that happens to you, quite unsought, which makes you weak and brings you suffering." (W.136.7.1-2) It does not seem to us that we have made a decision to be sick. Apparently, this decision is made so quickly that we don't even notice how and when it was made. It is a decision to turn to the ego to protect us from the truth because truth threatens the beliefs that we hold about ourselves.
 
You may actually notice that, as you get closer to the truth, you experience more headaches, drowsiness, hunger, asthma attacks, stomach pains, back aches, nausea, or other kinds of bodily distress. You may also experience some kind of accident or financial setback. The ego will set up all kinds of defenses to protect itself against the truth. It is threatened by truth and wants to remind us that we are bodies. The purpose of the ego is to constantly keep us rooted in the body, which the ego sees as its home. As long as we are identified with the body, we are aligned with the ego.
 
We can get quite distraught, if not outraged, to be told that to be sick is a choice we make. It is disconcerting to be told sickness is not something that happens to us but a decision we have made. "Now are you sick, that truth may go away and threaten your establishments no more." (W.136.7.4) Did I choose this sickness, suffering, and pain? Isn't my body just making me suffer? We think that the cause is outside the mind and that we are just the effect of it. Why is it hard to believe that I could be sick by my own choice? As this Lesson tells us, the reason is that our decision is ". . . doubly shielded by oblivion." (W.136.5.2)
 
While defenses seem to be unconscious, they are actually made with our awareness. "Defenses are not unintentional, nor are they made without awareness. They are secret, magic wands you wave when truth appears to threaten what you would believe. They seem to be unconscious but because of the rapidity with which you choose to use them." (W.136.3.1-3) This happens so quickly that we forget. Our forgetting is the first shield of oblivion. Then we forget that we chose to forget, which is the second shield. So you can see how well-protected this defense is, and why, after all this forgetting, we believe sickness is something that just happens to us and is beyond our control. "It is this quick forgetting of the part you play in making your ' reality ' that makes defenses seem to be beyond your own control." (W.136.5.1) Through our forgetting, we are protecting our individuality and seeing the problem outside of us.
 
In order to change this, we need to be willing to reconsider the decision to be sick. "But what you forgot can be remembered, given willingness to reconsider the decision which is doubly shielded by oblivion." (W.136.5.2) We can't reconsider the decision if we don't know we made it. We deny our part in making this decision to prove: we are bodies, we are separate from the truth, and we can defeat God by saying that we exist, and He does not. While we believe in what we made, it does not change our reality as God's Son. We are still as we were created. Our identity as a separate individual can't be the truth about us.
 
I remember, as a very young child in Sweden, living in a refugee camp and feeling vulnerable and unprotected. I made a deliberate choice to always and only rely on myself. I did not realize this until my adult years when I recognized, through meditation, what I had done. I had actually made a conscious decision to push God out and rely solely on myself, but then I forgot this decision, though it ruled my life. I decided that the adults in my life were unreliable and undependable. In my judgment, they could not be trusted. It was what prompted my decision to move God off His throne and take authority over my own life. We have all made these kinds of decisions, albeit we have not always recalled them. The fact is that we have all made the decision for our separation from God. My recollection of this decision as a child was just a replay of the original decision. We still make this same decision over and over every time we choose to side with the separate self that seems to be independent of God.
 
However, our decisions do not change the truth about ourselves or about God. "What is unalterable cannot change. And what is wholly sinless cannot sin." (W.136.11.7-8) "Such is the simple truth. It does not make appeal to might nor triumph. It does not command obedience, nor seek to prove how pitiful and futile your attempts to plan defenses that would alter it." (W.136.12.1-3) The Holy Spirit is the symbol of the love of God in our right minds and is always shining His light. He never demands anything from us nor diminishes us in any way, waiting only for our decision to accept the truth about ourselves. All "Truth merely wants to give you happiness, for such its purpose is." (W.136.12.4) When we see our way is not the way to happiness, we will want to do what is required on behalf of our own happiness. "Defenses are plans to defeat what cannot be attacked." (W.136.11.6) It is a futile plan to defeat God. Yes, we can choose to think that we suffer and die, but it is not God's Will, and "God knows not of your plans to change His Will." (136.11.1)
 
God does not fight our decisions but simply waits for us to change our minds. It is interesting to read that God sighs at the futility of our efforts to struggle on our own. Of course, this is just a metaphor, as God does not sigh, but it is a statement of the futility of the struggle that we seem to need to go through. We think that we can be sick and that we can die, but it isn't the truth. Yes, we can believe it, but it makes no difference to our reality. Our attempts at throwing away our gifts are really futile because Heaven will wait patiently for us to awaken to the truth, knowing ". . . with perfect certainty, that what God wills for you must be received," (W.136.12.5) and we will awaken because ". . . what He wills is here, and you remain as He created you." (W.136.13.5) It is reassuring to know that what God wills for us must be received, as we are part of Him. We are a Thought in the mind of God, outside of time. There is nothing we need do to earn our way back to God because nothing has come between us and our Source. We are at home in God now. We just don't know it.
 
Our part is to watch our thoughts and bring our illusions to the truth. We can only be victims of attacks on ourselves by our own mistaken decisions. The purpose of the body is to keep us invested in thinking that we are this limited self, but we can make another choice. To do so, we must be vigilant in watching how the thoughts of sin, guilt, and fear are showing up in our lives. All our beliefs and values must be questioned. All our defenses must be brought to light. Jesus tells us, "And you will recognize you practiced well by this: The body should not feel at all. If you have been successful, there will be no sense of feeling ill or feeling well, of pain or pleasure. No response at all is in the mind to what the body does. Its usefulness remains and nothing more." (W.136.17.2-5) This is a state of recognizing the Self as unlimited. We are not the body at all. There is no body in the experience of the holy instant. The body only exists in the past and the future. When we join with the love in our minds and guilt is released, there is no awareness of the body. "At no single instant does the body exist at all. It is always remembered or anticipated, but never experienced just now." (T.18.VII.3.1) (ACIM OE T.18.VIII.65) It is an instant of experiencing only love and peace, rather than the demands of the body.
 
Jesus is saying that when sin, fear, and guilt have been removed from the mind, there is nothing to project except the love and innocence within. There is then only the love of God in our minds, outside the dream. The body is a figure in the dream and actually does not exist except as a projection of the mind. Until we know our reality outside this dream, the body can be a classroom in which we can always be reminded of where the real pain is and of where the real joy is---in our minds. When we no longer identify with the body as the limited self, the body ' s health is assured. Though there may still be the appearance of sickness, it does not affect the peace in the mind.
 
However, it is important to remember not to punish and attack ourselves if we do get sick. In fact, it may be a sign that we are making progress on this path and getting closer to truth, which is anathema to the ego. Or we may be experiencing stress and frustration in our lives and then sickness shows up. Staying vigilant about noticing thoughts of anger, despair, discouragement, jealousies, specialness, comparison, or whatever else shows up, is important so we can put these thoughts and feelings on the inner altar to be healed. Our part is not to deny what we are feeling, but when we become aware of a disturbance in the mind, we simply bring it to the truth. The Holy Spirit will do the rest. Do not listen to the ego that tells you to deny or repress your feelings or to try to fix your thinking. The ego knows nothing. Always remember to turn to the Holy Spirit and leave the healing to Him.
 
Separation was the way down the ladder into the darkness of this world and miracles are the way back. Jesus reassures us that once we start on this path, the way is made simple and serene. The only thing that maintains the dream is our choice for the ego as our teacher. It will never show us the way to happiness. And yes, it will get more vicious as we get closer to the truth because its existence depends on our allegiance to its thought system.
 
Truth will never be thrust on us but only waits on our welcome. Isn't that beautiful? There is no coercion. Power does not need to be coercive. We are called to be a demonstration of the truth, without proselytizing it to anyone. It is all for our own awakening, based on our own Call. Everyone will eventually arrive at this place when they are ready. When life becomes sufficiently painful, everyone becomes more motivated to join the great crusade. Everyone will eventually come to this decision.
 
Ask the truth to come to you and set you free today, and truth will come for it has never been apart from you. Start with the healing prayer, "Sickness is a defense against the truth. I will accept the truth of what I am, and let my mind be wholly healed today." (W.136.15.6-7)
 
"Yet this protection needs to be preserved by careful watching. If you let your mind harbor attack thoughts, yield to judgment or make plans against uncertainties to come, you have again misplaced yourself, and made a bodily identity which will attack the body, for the mind is sick." (W.136.19.1-2) This is our function in healing our minds, which is to watch our thoughts of separation and to take notice of our defenses. Ask for help to let these thoughts go so you won't keep hurting yourself with thoughts of self-attack. If thoughts are to be healed, we must become aware of them. Keeping them in the dark keeps our defenses intact. "Defenses are not unintentional, nor are they made without awareness. They are secret, magic wands you wave when truth appears to threaten what you would believe. They seem to be unconscious, but because of the rapidity with which you choose to use them." (W.136.3.1-3)
 
"Do not be confused about what must be healed , [which is the mind's decision for the ego] but tell yourself:
 
"I have forgotten what I really am, for I mistook my body for myself. Sickness is a defense against the truth. But I am not a body. And my mind cannot attack. So I cannot be sick." (W.136.20.2-7)

Love and blessings, Sarah
A Course in Miracles
TEXT
ACIM Original Edition
Chapter Twelve

The Problem of Guilt  

   Voice and Music by Martin Weber, CIMS SonShip Radio
IV. Healing and Time           

23 And now the reason why you are afraid of this course should be apparent. For this is a course on love because it is about you. You have been told that your function in this world is healing, and your function in Heaven is creating. The ego teaches that your function on earth is destruction and that you have no function at all in Heaven. It would thus destroy you here and bury you here, leaving you no inheritance except the dust out of which it thinks you were made. As long as it is reasonably satisfied with you, as its reasoning goes, it offers you oblivion. When it becomes overtly savage, it offers you hell.
 
24 Yet neither oblivion nor hell is as unacceptable to you as Heaven. For your definition of Heaven is hell and oblivion, and the real Heaven is the greatest threat you think you could experience. For hell and oblivion are ideas which you made up, and you are bent on demonstrating their reality to establish yours. If their reality is questioned, you believe that yours is. For you believe that attack is your reality and that your destruction is the final proof that you were right.
 
25 Under the circumstances, would it not be more desirable to have been wrong, even apart from the fact that you were wrong? While it could perhaps be argued that death suggests there was life, no one would claim that it proves there is life. Even the past life which death might indicate could only have been futile if it must come to this and needs this to prove that it was. You question Heaven, but you do not question this. You could heal and be healed if you did question it. And even though you know not Heaven, might it not be more desirable than death? You have been as selective in your questioning as in your perception. An open mind is more honest than this.
 
26 The ego has a very strange notion of time, and it is with this notion that your questioning might well begin. The ego invests heavily in the past and in the end believes that the past is the only aspect of time that is meaningful. You will remember that we said its emphasis on guilt enables it to ensure its continuity by making the future like the past and thus avoiding the present. By the notion of paying for the past in the future, the past becomes the determiner of the future, making them continuous without an intervening present. For the ego uses the present only as a brief transition to the future, in which it brings the past to the future by interpreting the present in past terms.
 
27 Now has no meaning to the ego. The present merely reminds it of past hurts, and it reacts to the present as if it were the past. The ego cannot tolerate release from the past, and although the past is no more, the ego tries to preserve its image by responding as if it were present. Thus it dictates reactions to those you meet now from a past reference point, obscuring their present reality. In effect, if you follow the ego's dictates, you will react to your brothers as though they were someone else, and this will surely prevent you from perceiving them as they are. And you will receive messages from them out of your own past because, by making it real in the present, you are forbidding yourself to let it go. You thus deny yourself the message of release that every brother offers you now.
 
28 The shadowy figures from the past are precisely what you must escape. For they are not real and have no hold over you unless you bring them with you. They carry the spots of pain in your minds, directing you to attack in the present in retaliation for a past that is no more. And this decision is one of future pain. Unless you learn that past pain is delusional, you are choosing a future of illusions and losing the endless opportunities which you could find for release in the present. The ego would preserve your nightmares and prevent you from awakening and understanding that they are past.
 
29 Would you recognize a holy encounter if you are merely perceiving it as a meeting with your own past? For you are meeting no one, and the sharing of salvation, which makes the encounter holy, is excluded from your sight. The Holy Spirit teaches that you always meet yourself and the encounter is holy because you are. The ego teaches that you always encounter your past, and because your dreams were not holy, the future cannot be, and the present is without meaning. It is evident that the Holy Spirit's perception of time is the exact opposite of the ego's. The reason is equally clear, for they perceive the goal of time as diametrically opposed.
 
30 The Holy Spirit interprets time's purpose as rendering the need for it unnecessary. Thus does He regard the function of time as temporary, serving only His teaching function, which is temporary by definition. His emphasis is therefore on the only aspect of time which can extend to the infinite, for now is the closest approximation of eternity which this world offers. It is in the reality of now, without past or future, that the beginning of the appreciation of eternity lies. For only now is here, and it presents the opportunities for the holy encounters in which salvation can be found.
 
31 The ego, on the other hand, regards the function of time as one of extending itself in place of eternity, for like the Holy Spirit, the ego interprets the goal of time as its own. The continuity of past and future under its direction is the only purpose the ego perceives in time, and it closes over the present so that no gap in its own continuity can occur. Its continuity, then, would keep you in time, while the Holy Spirit would release you from it. It is His interpretation of the means of salvation which you must learn to accept if you would share His goal of salvation for you.
 
32 You too will interpret the function of time as you interpret yours. If you accept your function in the world of time as healing, you will emphasize only the aspect of time in which healing can occur. For healing cannot be accomplished in the past and must be accomplished in the present to release the future. This interpretation ties the future to the present and extends the present rather than the past. But if you interpret your function as destruction, you will lose sight of the present and hold on to the past to ensure a destructive future. And time will be as you interpret it, for of itself it is nothing.

 
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