Jesus was in jail awaiting his death sentence and Peter knew he was next. As he tried
to warm
bones that rattled from deep within his chest, Peter denied having any connection to Jesus. He had been warned that he would do this but he did it anyways, understandably overwhelmed by fear. How often did Peter think about that
dark,
chilly morning and the conversations he had by the fire? Even in the wake of the resurrection, how much guilt did he and the
other disciples
carry? How often did th
ey re-live
the events of the week and wonder what they could have done so that Jesus didn't have to die so horrifically?
We know how Judas felt. His guilt so intense he hanged himself before the crucifixion and
he
learned of the resurrection posthumously.
Many if not all of Jesus' disciple
s must have
suffered from flashbacks, nightmares maybe even depression thinking of ways they could have saved him.
Today we know that most people who witness or survive an accident, attack or disaster others didn't
,
will
experience some level of survivor's guilt.
Questions of why they lived will evolve into feelings that
they should have been the one to die, oftentimes torturing themselves with thoughts of things they should have done to protect those who weren't as "lucky".
As we read through the last parts of the gospels and the book of Acts we can see
some of
this with the disciples
, particularly with Peter who seems like he will only be satisfied by his own crucifixion. I
t didn't just e
nd with them, I think that remorse
has colored our theology in more ways than we are aware.
M
ade into a joke, guilt is an emotion closely associated with Christianity. "
Another nail to pierce the skin of one who loved" is a line often quoted to remind us how our current sins drive the nails deeper into Christ's hands and feet.
This only fuels the
survivor's g
uilt many of us have theologically inherited and stands in the way of the fresh start offered to us by
Jesus
. I think w
e need to deal with the all of the feelings that were experienced in the days of
and following
holy week, not only the too easy feelings of joy at Christ's resurrection. According to psychologists, one of the ways people can find healing from survivor's guilt is by doing something meaningful for someone else. Ironically, we see this in the gospel
s
. It is only because the women go to
prepare
Jesus' body that they discover he had risen. If they hadn't gone to
care for him
, we would have totally missed the miracle.
This year, as we are again post Easter, perhaps we can make a resolution that we focus less on the guilt we feel or the ways in which we think we
are currently contributing
to Jesus' death and instead search for opportunities to care for one another, knowing that
ministering to others
will change our view from a suffering Jesus on the cross to a radiant Jesus full of life.
Sunday, April 30
Team 5 Acolyting
Sunday School
10 am | Sunday School Classrooms
Judges 2:11-19
~
Sunday, May 7
Team 1 Acolyting
Carolyn Shankwiler, Holly Hulick, Lindsay Martinez & Lily Snaer
Sunday School
10 am | Sunday School Classrooms
Judges 4:4-10, 12-16
Youth Group
5 pm - 7 pm at the Snaer's home
~
Sunday, May 14
Mother's Day
Team 2 Acolyting
Sarah Ni, Sophie Woodman, Alec Nikoui -Smith & Samia Nikoui -Smith
Sunday School & Children's Sermon Sunday
10 am | Sunday School Classrooms
~
Sunday, May 21
Team 3 Acolyting
Matt Harrington, Mary-Kate Seley & James Dixon
Sunday School
10 am | Sunday School Classrooms
Judges 6:11-16, 25-31
~
Sunday, May 28
Team 4 Acolyting
Olivia Harrigian, Reagan Duguid, Kate Mena & Maya Puri
Sunday School
10 am | Sunday School Classrooms
Judges 16:4-6, 13-20