Parenting Tips from the Master

In case you are a bit confused by the title, this master parent is not me. We have been given the perfect role model for parenting. God, as our Heavenly Father, has given us, His children, the ability to make decisions about our lives. He has given Godly parents to many of us to direct and guide us in learning what is morally and ethically right and wrong. Then, He has allowed us to be placed in different situations that test our ability to try out the skills that we have been taught. Is He there to guide us? Most certainly! Do we make mistakes? We sure do. Does He try to make decisions for us? Absolutely not! Is He there for us when the decision we have made ends up being the wrong one and we fail miserably? Always! He allows us to make decisions for ourselves and then uses those decisions for His glory, even if they are not what He would have chosen for us. He has a way of re-directing us so that we eventually turn it back to Him. He never lets us fall without being there to help us back up. This is the parenting example He has given us.

Parenting has never been easy, whether you are the parent, the aunt, the uncle, or the grandparents. Every now and then, I hear stories about the things that my siblings and I used to do and I wonder how any of us survived. Things were different back then. During the summer, parents rarely saw their children because they would meet up with the neighborhood children and play from early morning to late at night. Lunch would be eaten on the run at someone's house. Children would have to be called, several times, to come in for dinner.

Needless to say, parenting in today's world has changed drastically. Parents rarely see their kids, yet it is not because they are out playing in the woods or the backyard. Nowadays, if there are two parents, both parents work. It seems that some parents try to relive their school memories by getting over-involved with the activities in which their children participate. Some may feel guilty about the time they are unable to spend with their children and try to compensate by being over-involved. For many, however, as our children get older, it is more difficult to see them become independent and less interested in our help. It kind of makes one feel like he/she is not useful or is getting older and who wants to feel that way? Helicopter parenting is a term that is used to refer to parents who hover over their child and every aspect of his or her life. Parents feel they can have more control over the actions of our children if they hover. For some reason, the parents described as helicopter parents do not feel that they have given their children enough skills to make decisions or cope with things that come along. They act as if they have to decide things for their child including school activities, friends, college, vocational goals, and decisions that individuals should make on their own.

Instead of making decisions for our children, we need to be reminded that they are individuals made by God. He has given them the ability to make decisions, whether good or bad. We love our children but not even a fraction as much as God loves them. We need to trust that we have raised our children to the best of our ability. We need to believe that by God's grace they will make it through this state of life where they will be tested and will, more often than not, be the "tester". We need to allow our children to make those mistakes that will eventually help them become the men and women that God has created them to be. We need to let them discover their own strengths and weaknesses as we guide them to become adults who will eventually raise our grandchildren. Is it really helping our children to not allow them to experience failure and disappointment? There is no question that we hurt when our children hurt but we are also not going to be around for them all the time when life deals them hardships. They need to learn the coping skills that will allow them to get through these times with help from God and those friends He has placed in our lives.

God has equipped us with parenting tools that have come from our own experiences, trials, and disappointments in life. He has blessed us with parents who have taught us how to parent, regardless of whether or not we think they did a good job. He has blessed us with His Word, which gives us practical advice. We need to allow our children the same opportunities and then pray that our Heavenly Father will protect them and continue to love them more than we do. Be there to guide your children to make the right decisions. Let your flight pattern continue in the same air zone, but allow your children to land by themselves. There will be times of smooth sailing and rough landings but they will belong to your children who have been guided and gifted by your Heavenly Father.