Picture water flowing through a stream. In our every day experiences, flow represents anything that enters our field: conversations, color, experiences, the news, a memory, people, a sensation, etc... and the way we process them through our body and psyche are called feelings and emotions (emotion, comes from the latin word emovere: e, out and movere, to move). In order to fully process what is coming IN, we have to be able to feel, listen and release, so the energy can move all the way through us. Remember, IT IS ALL ENERGY. All of it. Everything. Even our ideas.
Stay with me.
The flow of feelings that we have, moves directly in and out of ONE specific area of the body. It is the most sensual and intimate part of the body, and INCREDIBLY... (oh I love how we are designed!), the organs in this area all deal with the management of FLUIDS.
The kidneys control the flow of urine.
The uterus and ovaries (in women) controls the flow of blood.
The testes and prostate (in men) controls the flow of semen.
The adrenals regulate the flow of hormones and blood in response to stress.
We know from how little we discuss these fluids in public, that the intimacy they carry can lead to embarrassment if we feel they are not managed well. But IRONICALLY, that protection of our vital essence is the very thing that will expose our truths.
The kidneys, reproductive organs, and adrenals all sit in the house of the second chakra, an energetic vortex that is responsible for relaying feelings, emotions, sensations, and it's shadow... guilt.
Each of these organs and glands need signals from the central nervous system to tell them when to turn ON and OFF. Our beautifully designed bodies have a programming that allows a series of other preceding events to fire systematically in order for the final flow of urine, semen or blood to leave the body appropriately. This systematic programming of OFF and ON began around the age of 1-3, when you were learning to potty train. Around the same time, you were learning when it was ok to "let go" and when you had to "contain yourself". It is easy to start to see the correlation in our psycho-somatic development, that learning to control our bladder coincides with learning to control our feelings!
By nature, this area is nurtured by the feminine aspect that we EACH contain, but that doesn't mean that they are intended to be for WOMEN only. Our society has devastatingly confused the divine or archetypal feminine with WOMANHOOD. And the result is a secret society of people who don't know how to manage sensitivity, desire, asking for help, or being vulnerable, so the ON/OFF switch can get stuck in one direction or the other.
Problems arise when we
genuinely FEEL something (joy, guilt, arousal, connection), that we would describe as "sensitive", "soft", or "in tune", but
we
don't have "permission" to express it. It can be equally unbalanced to feel and emote without restraint.
Most of the time this is happening unconsciously based on childhood programming. In these cases
, the excess energy has to get redirected elsewhere, into an activity that brings us deep pleasure
, where it balls up and spills out as something that acts as a crutch for the wounded feminine.
This is an addiction. Addictions allow for an individual to FEEL what they have feared looking at or feeling. Addictions come in all shapes and colors: shopping, hording, eating, drinking, drugs, sleeping, exercising, socializing, internet browsing, lying, loving, physical abuse (both giving and receiving), sex, crime, driving, smoking, creating, spirituality, dominating, surrendering, working, tv, electronics, sports (watching and doing), and even cleaning to name a few.
Because...feeling something is better than not feeling anything, or feeling something you don't want to.
Basically a good question to ask is, "Could I stop doing any of the above activities for a day? How about a week?" If you cringed and felt a kick to the gut, you may have a small or large addiction.
"What does she know about addiction, and who is she to tell me how to live my life?", you may be asking. Well, I can't and won't tell you how to live your life, but I do know quite a bit about addiction, because I have wrestled with it in more than one period of adulthood. In hindsight, it is so much more painful to avoid the truth, than it is to look at it. But avoiding, blaming others and deflecting is what we're good at!
Oh, and while we're denying ourselves deep sensations, those above listed organs begin to fall into dis-ese. Kidney stones, loss of bladder control, cysts, miscarriages, erectile dysfunction, prostate enlargement, heavy periods, no periods, chronic or adrenal fatigue and even cancer. (Is it curious that prostate cancer is the leading form of cancer in men?) Yes, this is a critical area to pay attention to.
So, what can you do if you think you have created an obsession? Follow it down the rabbit hole. Instead of going cold turkey on the activity, begin to dance with it. Ask questions about it's presence and how you felt just before you chose that activity. I, of course, like to access those feelings through the body itself. When I work with people one on one as a somatic therapist, I invite MOVEMENT into the pelvis. Just gentle movement, and soft exhales. This begins the invitation to FEEL without judgment. The body is amazing at reversing the flow, so that what was pooling away from our consciousness can move up toward our awareness just by simply moving energy through that area of imbalance. In other words, movement in the restricted area begins to uncover what it's been protecting. There are other techniques I use, like touch, tremoring, and sound-all of which shed light on the darkness.
This may not make any sense to you, but if you're curious, come ask me more about it.
And ask yourself these questions, as well: Who or what do I need around me to feel sensual (not just sexual, but sensual) and connected? Is my passion being fully expressed? Do I allow myself to feel vulnerable on a daily basis? Do I ask for help? Do I take time to enjoy colors, scents, sounds, and textures? Do I have a healthy and balanced sex life? Can I move my hips in slow circles without feeling awkward?
The divine feminine calls to us all, and our health depends on listening to her.
