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October's Mentor of the Month
1. How did you become involved in mentoring through the Hillsborough Education Foundation?
About a year before I committed to the project, I was researching local volunteer opportunities. HEF came up in my search, but I never really moved forward, unsure if it would be the right thing for me. Shortly after, I had the opportunity to provide some ad hoc mentorship to USF students in the English, Technical Writing program (my major), and I enjoyed that. Ultimately, I wanted something a bit more hands-on. At the same time, my wife had become involved with a local non-profit (KidsPack) that helps pack lunches for hungry children. Motivated by her volunteerism, I took the plunge and contacted HEF. It was the best decision I've made. I really enjoyed my time with Raul.
2. What has been the most rewarding part of mentoring?
It's not so much a reward as it is gaining an appreciation for the adult world kids are already living in, especially at the high school level. While the hopes and fears are different in some regards, there are a lot of similarities. They're maintaining relationships, balancing responsibilities, and trying to find time for extra-curricular activity. Plus, the realities of the real world are ever present. I think a helping hand, and using the experience they are already having, can take a bit of the edge off of the adult world they are facing. In some ways, life gets easier after high school, though in many ways it gets more complicated as well.
3. What do you believe is the key to being a quality mentor?
Asking questions and listening are core competencies. Through these, rapport will be built over time. However, that kind of goes without saying. I think a mentor should also remember that the student is taking time out of their schedule to meet as well. Meeting times are always during the student's elective, which at the high school level tends to be something they are actively interested in. Keeping this in mind should help you both share a mutual respect for the time spent together/invested.
4.When you are not working with students, how do you prefer to spend your free time?
I have a 12 year old stepdaughter, and my wife and I are expecting a son this month. So most of my time is spent with my immediate and extended family (as Florida natives, both my wife and I have a lot of relatives in close proximity). Our family activities include everything from camping to reading, and, of course, video games like Minecraft and just about any Lego game. When I have free time, I like to write (fiction and non-fiction).
5. What do you hope your mentee will learn from you?
The most important thing I would hope to pass on is that life and success aren't based solely on making all the right decisions. It also has as much to do with learning from mistakes. In the industry I work in (software development), we have a core principal we operate by: fail fast and improve often. The idea here is that mistakes aren't something to avoid, rather making mistakes early can set you up for success and a better product in the future. I think this is applicable to life. I've not followed the standard path that people associate with success (for example, my degree took far longer than most people). I got married and had children later in life. While looking back, it's a mess of decisions and mistakes, but I wouldn't have it any other way because ultimately it's led me here, and here is exactly where I want to be.
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Anxiety in Today's Youth
Is there anything adults in mentoring relationships can say to help kids handle stress?
From the elementary age on, says Jill Emanuele, senior clinical psychologist and director of training at the Child Mind Institute, the most important thing for adults to do is to validate a kid's worries. "When people say, 'I'm worried or anxious," Emanuele points out, "the first thing a lot of people want to do is say, 'You're going to be fine. It's going to be okay."
When adults take that tack, however, "you never give the person the opportunity to experience what they're anxious about," she says. Comforting words may provide temporary relief, but if anxiety is not faced head on, says Emanuele, it will come back again, even stronger. Instead, when kids are worries, adults can help them face their fears b asking them questions about their worries, and helping them come up with strategies to face their fears.
Middle-school kids face a whole new world of social stress--both real life, and on social media. One way for adults to manage anxiety in kids, says Marilyn Wilcher, senior director and founder of the Benson-Henry Institute for Mind Body Medicine, is to manage their devices: "Limit the amount of time kids can be on their computers of their phones."
It's also a good age, she says for adults and kids to explore the science behind stress. "Stress happens automatically," Wilcher says, but "we have to teach our body how to do the relaxation response." There isn't just one answer for everyone, but adults can start conversations with kids about what strategies work to help them release stress, from yoga to singing: "whatever you can do to break the train of everyday thought that's disturbing you."
High-school kids, Emanuele says, are going through "significant brain changes," which leads to increased mental-health issues. For adults, the strategies for helping high schoolers manage stress are the same as at any age: help them identify their specific anxieties, and strategies to deal with it--with an added step; since they're so close to adulthood themselves, "you have to get buy-in. You want to collaborate."
Adults can also help kids at this age by putting the pressure to succeed in perspective. As they're gearing up to leave school and begin college, or some other phase of life, the stakes may seem impossibly high. Adults can help them, Wilcher says, by letting them know that one bad grade won't destroy their chances at future happiness, and that "they can get a good education anywhere in the country."
At any age, adults want to be careful that they're not part of the stress themselves. If kids see "that adults are anxious or worried for them, they will be even more worried," Wilcher says. On the flip side, if kids see adults managing their own stress well, kids will begin to model that behavior themselves, so one of the best things adults can do to help kids handle stress is to find ways to be less stressed themselves.
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Alumni Impact
Greg Forrest
Recently, we had the chance to converse to a Take Stock graduate, Greg Forrest, and he provided his take on how the program and the people involved helped him grow. This is what he had to say:
"I'm a proud alumnus of the Take Stock in Children (TSIC) Scholarship Program - having been recognized for my academic achievement since elementary school in the late 1990's. During a time when many scholarship recipients had not been assigned mentors, I was fortunate to have been assigned two: Joseph Larry Jackon (mentor) and Paul Avery (co-mentor) of Bloomin' Brands Inc. (formerly OSI Restaurant Partners LLC).
Over the years, Joseph and Paul provided me with invaluable experiences. From giving me tours of the Bloomin' Brands corporate office to arranging for me to meet the entire Tampa bay Buccaneers team, Joseph and Paul made sure that I remained intellectually curious and creatively inspired.
During one summer, while on break from college, I even served as Joseph's intern. As the Vice President of Inclusion and Diversity, he was constantly working with people, fostering relationships across state lines and across culture lines. At many events, I was Joseph's eager apprentice. There is one such event that I will never forget. A local newspaper hosted an awards luncheon for fast-growing startups in the Tampa Bay Area. The criteria was simple: the company that grew its revenue the most on a year-over-year basis won first place, the second most won second place, and so on. As we watched the recipients receive their awards one-by-one, Joseph looked at me confidently and said, "You can do this." To this day, even when faced with a tough situation, those four words reassure me that I have the capacity to do great things. That moment was a shining example of what it means to have a supportive mentor. Joseph and Paul are still and will always be my mentors.
Today, I'm a proud alumnus of the University of Tampa and the University of South Florida - having graduated with a Bachelor of Science in Management in 2009 and a Master of Science in Entrepreneurship in 2011, respectively. I'm a Senior Business Analyst in the marketing Department at Tampa International Airport. My market research analysis gives the airport leadership team valuable insight into travelers' preferences as they fly in and out of America's favorite airport - providing a boost to our local economy.
I'm grateful for those who have played a pivotal role in my personal and career development and am honored to have been a recipient of all that TSIC has to offer. I will do the best I can to pay it forward."
We thank Greg for sharing, and know that his account can act as inspiration for our students, as well as a reminder to all of our mentors that what are doing truly touches lives.
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Mark Your Calendar!
| Veteran's Day |
November 11 |
HCPS |
| Fall Break |
November 21-25 |
HCPS |
| End of 2nd Quarter |
December 16 |
HCPS |
| Winter Break |
December 19-30 |
HCPS |
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If you know someone who is interested in mentoring,
have them visit our website for more information:
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www.educationfoundation.com
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