Scripture
Romans 7:18-19 (NRSV)
 
For I know that nothing good dwells within me, that is, in my flesh. I can will what is right, but I cannot do it. For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I do.

Meditation

Our True Foundation - Jonathan Morris
 
Paul had a disadvantage when he wrote to the church in Rome-he had not visited them or met them. When Paul wrote letters to churches, he shared topics that would be relevant to those receiving the letter, with words to encourage the good they were doing, with support against the opposition they faced, and with instruction on how they needed to change.
 
But Paul didn't know enough about the church in Rome to choose specific topics for their church, so in this letter, he wrote more about himself, and we all are blessed by how sincerely and openly he shared his faith and experience.
 
The passage above is a jarring statement coming from a giant hero of Christianity. Paul meant for his confession of sin being at war inside him to be taken literally and seriously. This was brutally honest and wildly courageous, to the point of sounding a bit crazy. Paul essentially wrote, "I want to help your church grow stronger, so here's an interesting fact about me: I sin frequently and I can't stop myself!"
 
I'm just writing a daily meditation, hoping that you'll read it, and I really don't want to admit to you what Paul admitted. Why would you read this meditation I wrote if I told you what a failure I am at following God?
 
But Paul is telling the truth about me. I know what is right, and too often I don't do it. I know what is wrong, and too often I do it, anyway. Sometimes when I do what appears to be the right thing, I do it for the wrong reasons, and that's just another form of failure. Deep down inside me, there's a fierce conflict still continuing, even after all these years of my Christian walk. At the core of my being, I know I am a failure at following Jesus.
 
Paul knew we have to own this truth about who we are, so that God can build us up from that truth. It is like God is building a house in us, and until the Builder finds a solid foundation, it is futile to start on the floor, walls, or roof. God can't build on the lies of "my goodness," for that foundation is guaranteed to fail when I slip up and sin again. God can and does build on the foundation of God's Grace and Goodness that forgives us when we fail and when we accept God's Grace.
 
The only certain foundation of our lives is God's Love and Grace. We need to accept that Grace, live in that Love, and hold fast to God in us. We can only do that when we admit that we fall down and need that Grace every day. The foundation of who God is creating us to be is the truth from an old children's hymn: "we are weak, but He is strong. Yes, Jesus loves me!"
Reflection
One of my favorite ("grown up") songs is by a songwriter named Eli, who wrote these lyrics:
 
Valleys
 
Lying at the bottom, I can clearly see the top.
Pressed against this firm foundation, I count none of this as loss.
As I struggle up this mountain with every bloody knee,
Y'know I'm often prone to stumble, but it's this rock that catches me.
 
It's this rock that tells me that's what valleys are for.
It's from here that we measure just how far we must go;
You don't know how tall you stand until you fall...
 
Mountains cast a shadow; At times it's hard to tell
Will the darkness over take you? Will you succeed or fail?
I have climbed a hundred mountains and stood upon their peaks
But I still draw my greatest comfort from the rock that lies beneath
 
It's this rock that tells me that's what valleys are for
It's from here that we measure just how far we must go
You don't know how tall you stand until you fall,
That's what valleys are for.
 
- Copyright 1997 by Forefront Records
 
You can listen to him sing this song:
Prayer
Dear gracious Lord,
 
Forgive me for my sins. Forgive me for my self-righteousness. Forgive me for thinking I can be holy on my own.
 
Thank you God that you are still willing to use me, as inconsistent and flawed as I am. Thank you that your perfect Love is at work in my imperfect self. Thank you that your divine love in me can touch other people.
 
Remind me, loving God, that the love I give is because your Love lives in me. Remind me that I can do what is right when I rely on your strength, listen to your voice, and let your goodness direct my steps.
 
Remind me that you call me not to an energetic sprint, but to a continuing walk of faith, one footstep directed by you following another footstep. Remind me to walk more slowly when my haste would take me away from you.
 
What I truly want is to be yours. Thank you for your patience, grace, and love that is working in me that I may be yours more and more.
 
Amen.
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