TYRONE SHOELACES WANTS TO KNOW:
DO YOU HAVE A BASKETBALL JONES?

     A SPC MEN'S CLUB PRODUCTION
 
THURSDAY, MARCH 16, 2017 AT 6:00 PM
NONNO PINO'S IN EDISON PARK
6718 N. NORTHWEST HIGHWAY
$55 includes dinner, drinks & bracket
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The Event:     
March Madness - 2017 Men's NCAA Basketball Tournament (First Round Action)
Location:
Nonno Pino's in Edison Park 
Time:              
Officially, the event commences at 6:00 pm and concludes at 10:00 pm. Unofficially, the event commences at 6:00 pm and will continue until the later of (a) the end of the last game or (b) the moment you keel over after doing way too many shots with newbie MC member, and future SPCMC President, Jim Stinson.
Food:
A variety of pizza pies along with the following hot and cold appetizers served buffet style: Tuscan BBQ meatballs; chicken pistachio skewers; antipasto platter; sausage and peppers; miniature arancini; and some kind of pasta dish that is designed to placate the gastronomic needs of all two of the Italophiles in the SPCMC.  
Drinks:           
Four hour open bar (domestic beer, Stella Artois, house wine and soda). Hard liquor is not included, but I will buy anyone who desires to burn a hole in his esophagus a flaming shot of Bacardi 151 or, for those with no taste buds, a shot of Malort.      
Structure:      
This is a manly event. We are gathering to eat, drink and breathe college basketball for one evening. Double fisted drinking is encouraged, and gambling is mandatory. Anyone caught sipping Miller Lite and/or not gambling is subject to immediate defenestration from the tallest building in Park Ridge (three stories) by our ferocious and mercurial Sergeant-At-Arms, Tim "The Defenestrator," Bresnahan.
Theme Song:
Basketball Jones. Any attendee (by way of example, Bill Armstrong) who is brave (or drunk or stupid) enough to grab the mic and belt out the lyrics to this Cheech and Chong chestnut will be treated to a round of shots by The Big Toe. As an added bonus, he will be subjected to verbal abuse by his fellow Men's Club members for the balance of the evening and will earn a spot at the top of the list of the Biggest Numbskulls in Park Ridge, which is a ponderously long list indeed. Vive Le Piker Ridge!  
Price:             
$55.00 per person (includes a $5 square). Complaints from "nickel millionaires" regarding pricing will be dealt with swiftly. See, "defenestration" above.
Transportation:
Use of Uber, Lyft, rickshaws and hover boards is highly encouraged. The Big Toe does not want to hear that any member of the illustrious SPCMC has been arrested for DWB ("Driving While Blind"). 
 
Commitment:
We have a minimum for this event. So, if you commit and do not show up, I will introduce you to my cousin, Lenny, who works as a collector in the waste management industry.
 
Did You Know That:
1) Alfred Einstein was a power forward on his high school basketball team?
2) James Naismith invented the game of basketball in 1891 while under the influence of Malort?
3) Basketball shorts were short until 1984, when Michael Jordan asked for longer ones after seeing our very own Mike Meyer playing in a Loyola-Notre Dame high school basketball game while wearing powder blue ultra short-shorts?
4) On September 25, 2000, Paul Pierce of the Boston Celtics was stabbed 11 times in the face, neck, and back and had a bottle smashed over his head during a fight at The Mecca in Edison Park?

PLEASE CONFIRM YOUR RESERVATION FOR THIS EVENT BY EMAILING JOE CAPITANI AT: capitani@mjms.com.  A SIMPLE "IN" OR "OUT" IN RESPONSE TO THIS EMAIL WOULD BE HELPFUL FOR PURPOSES OF TRACKING ATTENDANCE.

 
YOUR PRESENCE IS DEMANDED! 
 
 Joe "The Big Toe" Capitani
 President - SPC Men's Club
            

Upcoming Events

Mark Your Calendars and Watch for Details!    

 

March 16th: March Madness at Nonno Pino's in Edison Park

April 13th: Service Project at Catholic Charities in Des Plaines

April 29th: Distillery Tour/Brewery Tomfoolery 

May 19th: Day at the Races at Arlington Park 

June 2nd: Bags Tournament and Pig Roast