It has been said that 90% of the world's problems are caused by miscommunication.  I'm not so sure about that, but I would agree that 90% of the problems we encounter in our relationships are caused by miscommunication.

At Crossroads, we teach our kids (and our staff) to go to the source of the problem when they have an issue.  If a kid comes to me to 'tell' on another staff for being unreasonable with them in some way, my first question is: "what did he say when you talked to HIM about the issue?"  The kids know that if they haven't talked to the source of their frustration first, I won't confer with them.

Proverbs 17:9 says: He who covers over an offense promotes love.  He who repeats the matter separates close friends.   Gossip and third party intervention in relationships can do enormous damage to them.

Teach your kids to resolve their own problems with the people that they come in contact with daily before they involve you.  The mother who goes to the child's teacher before making sure that the child did everything they could to resolve the problem first, is destroying both her relationship and the child's with that teacher!