January 17, 2017
Pre-Meeting Reflections | Fr Steve Rice

Thank you to everyone who was present at the first of two pre-annual meeting discussion. I am very grateful to the vestry for their leadership and especially to Brian Farrell and Amy McFerrin for their leadership at the gathering. I was given a summary of the discussion and two questions that seemed to have the most traction was over the future of youth ministry and the newly formed Society of Joseph of Arimathea. I thought I’d use this space this week to address the question from my perspective as rector. 

Youth Ministry

I will do my best to make a long answer a shorter one, but the longer conversation is an important one to have. I am absolutely committed to the ministry of our youth. If for no other reason I am committed because I have a child in the youth group and two more behind her. Of the current vestry members, six of nine members currently have children in the youth program and two others have children soon to be in the youth program. I intentionally state that I am absolutely committed to the ministry of our youth and not the “youth group” or even “youth ministry.” Let me explain. Twenty years ago I took my first job in the church as the stereotypical youth minister. I was young, energetic, and “relatable” to the youth. By every possible metric, we were successful: 60-70 kids at youth every Sunday night, ski trips, summer events, Youth Sundays, the whole kit and kaboodle. Even though it’s been 18 years since I’ve been with these kids, thanks to the wonders of social media, I am able to keep up with them. My own observations completely agree with the groundbreaking research from two UNC-Chapel Hill sociologists regarding the spiritual lives of teenagers: the greatest factor in the spiritual lives of youth is their parents (see “Soul Searching” by Smith and Denton). It’s not a slick youth program or a charismatic youth leader (as attractive as those are), it’s the example and guidance of the parents. 20 years ago I was able to orchestrate an exciting program, but in terms of lifelong formation, I was a failure. The kids, now in their 30s, who now faithfully attend church and are raising their children to do the same are the ones whose parents were faithful and unashamedly so. One of the many things that appealed to me about John Roberts when we called him five years ago was that up front he was clear he did not want to support a church culture that outsources the responsibilities of parents in raising their children to the youth director. It’s bad practice and it’s bad theology. We want to support our parents and encourage them to raise their children in the faith, and we as St Timothy’s support their ministry as parents with the community and teaching of the youth program. We do not want it to be the other way around. That requires effort and vulnerability but it really is the most sound way forward. Does this mean we aren’t looking for a youth leader? No. But it does mean we are looking for a leader who will equip the parents and the parish as a whole to lead and share the faith with our young adults. I am not interested in a youth guru but a guide for both parents and youth. When John Roberts left in August, the vestry decided this was an opportune time to work towards a curate. Using John’s salary, we built upon it to create the salary package for a curate. It is our expectation that the curate will help establish and guide parish-wide youth ministry. We do not expect the curate to be the full-time youth director. That model will always rely on a youth guru and we will find ourselves in this position again and again. Parish-wide youth ministry makes more sense in every way: theologically, sociologically, practically, and financially. In this, we are absolutely committed.  

Society of Joseph of Arimathea

As I’ve mentioned before, last October I read an article about a wonderful ministry at Holy Innocents Episcopal Church in Atlanta. Fulton County has an indigent burial program and the clergy of Holy Innocents offer to preside at the burials at partner cemetery. October is also Pregnancy Loss Awareness Month (something I didn’t know) and I heard friends share their stories of pregnancy loss. I was struck by the lack of pastoral and liturgical resources for those who lose their babies during pregnancy. The Church teaches that these babies are human lives - the Feasts of the Annunciation and the Visitation alone teach this - and that they demand a pastoral response. I asked two members of our parish who work with labor and delivery if there was a need for a Holy Innocents type ministry in Forsyth County. This led to a meeting at Forsyth Medical Center with a chaplain, social worker, and a Perinatal/Neonatal Palliative Care Coordinator. I opened the meeting by saying “I don’t know what I don’t know” about this issue. I learned there was a great need but because there has not been a partner to help, they have not kept statistics. My intention was to offer to help those who couldn't afford to bury their children. I didn’t realize that there were also children who are never claimed from the hospital morgue. Without anyone to claim them after a period of time, these babies are incinerated at the hospital along with other “medical tissue.” This is not the desire of the hospital employees but without a partner to help, they have no other choice. I committed then to claim any unclaimed babies. They estimated around six unclaimed babies a year. I knew I could raise money for this but even if I couldn’t, I knew I had sufficient funds in my discretionary fund to make this pledge. All that to say, the SoJA is not a budget line item. In December, the Vestry voted to create a designated fund for this ministry. So far we have received $625 to help with the burials and we have spent $200 for the burial of little Rico, whom I referenced this past Sunday. I don’t know how many burials we will assist with this year. But I can’t in good conscience allow children to be discarded a half mile from our church without doing everything I can to help. This ministry is still very much in development. My hope includes creating a space at St Timothy’s for the actual burials. We certainly need to address space issues with our existing burial space. I would love a memorial shrine for all children who have died, giving parents a place to pray and honor their children they will always love but see no longer.  
News & Updates
Evensong this Wednesday
Inter-generational Game Night and Meet Your Prayer Pal
Join us for Inter-generational Game Night! During the Parish Dinner before Evensong, we will gather together in Drake to dine, play, and if you participated in Prayer Pals to meet your pal! Game night will be in lieu of formation. There will be a variety of board games and then we will go to Evensong at  6:30pm . Join us!