Be A Blessing
Earlier this week I buried a dear cousin of mine. Bernice was 87 years old; she was my mother's first cousin. She was one of my few family members who lived in Southern California. We became very close especially during the past twelve years when our families lived closer to one another.
Bernice was buried at Harbor Lawn Memorial Park in Costa Mesa, a short walk from the grave of Debbie Friedman, the noted singer and composer of Jewish music who died unexpectedly early five years ago and whose works are part of the canon of Reform Jewish liturgical music. The
"Mi Shebeirach" prayer for healing is likely the composition we know the best.
I visited Debbie's grave and was surprised to discover that it was her
yartzheit-the anniversary of her death. It made that sacred ritual of visiting the grave of a loved one or a notable person even more poignant.
Debbie Friedman wrote many songs about giving and receiving blessings and as blessings, life and death are on my mind this week, it seems appropriate that this Shabbat we read from
Parashat Vayehi and the last chapters of the Book of Genesis, which offer many blessings from Jacob's death bed.
Vayehi ties up many but not all loose ends of this incredible narrative of a very complicated family. The deaths of Jacob and Joseph are recounted; however, before Jacob dies he bestows blessings first upon his grandchildren, Ephraim and Manasseh, then his own children.
It is customary to bless our children at the Shabbat table. Karen and I recite the words of
Birkat Kohanim-the Priestly Blessing to our sons. The traditional blessing for sons invoke Jacob's blessing to his grandchildren saying, "May God make you like Ephraim and Menashe." (Daughters are blessed to be like Sarah, Rebecca, Rachel and Leah).
Why bless our sons to be like Ephraim and Manasseh? Rabbi Samson Raphael Hirsch suggests that Jacob's grandchildren are blessing-worthy because, as the only descendants of Jacob to be born and raised entirely out of
Eretz Yisrael-the land of Israel, they managed to maintain their Jewish identity in Egypt, where there was no foundation of Jewish life.
Another tradition suggests that Ephraim and Manasseh were the only brothers who didn't fight or have a major conflict. Remember that Cain killed Abel; Jacob tricked Esau, and all of Joseph's brothers conspired against him. Ephraim and Menashe were loving, caring brothers, and therefore worthy of blessing. Isn't that how we'd like our children to behave towards one another?
Blessings transcend age. I love blessing my children, and I hope they will get along throughout their lives, maintain a strong Jewish identity and heritage in our diverse community, and be a blessing to others. My children bless me through their words and deeds. My 87-year-old cousin Bernice was a caring, loving woman, the glue of our extended and dispersed family who brought blessing to so many.
We offer our blessing to one another. Debbie Friedman's words often invoke words of blessing. So to paraphrase and mash up some of her popular lyrics, let us be a blessing as we go on our way; let us be a blessing as we make our name great. May the one who blessed our ancestors, bless us with healing and wholeness. May this be our blessing.
Amen.
