November 7, 2017
Friendship
"Bob, what is your deepest desire?"

I looked at my spiritual director and shrugged. I know what my superficial desires are; but my deepest desire? That seems a little frightening. I'm not sure if I want to go that deep.

I decided to try to find an answer anyway. (Resistance is often a good indication that I would benefit from whatever I'm resisting.)

Answer #1: My deepest desire is to be with you Lord. That sounded right, like it could have come right out of Scripture. But it didn't sound like me; it didn't feel authentic.

Answer #2: My deepest desire is to rest in the beauty you've created, Lord. I liked that answer; it was very poetic, very contemplative. But it also felt evasive. It was a non-answer.

Answer #3: My deepest desire it to trust you, Lord. There! That's my answer!

I don't trust God! Is it weird that I'm excited about that? To shout, "God, I don't trust you!" is not the kind of praise God wants, is it?

I think it is. "I call you friends," Jesus told the disciples, "because I have told you everything I heard from my Father." (John 15:15) True friendship can only grow where there is trust, and trust can only take root when there is honesty.

This is true for our human friendships as much as it for our friendship with the Divine.
Finding God
I find God in laughter.

My personal credo is to bring joy and laughter into every situation, and I take that very seriously.

Bl. Migual Augustin Pro understood the value of humor. Life is hard, and making someone laugh is a good way to offer compassion.

How can you be a person of good cheer? How can you make someone smile and laugh? You might be surprised at how much joy you will find too.

Where do you find God?
Meditation: Desires

This meditation can help you find your deepest desire. Since we have many desires competing for our attention--some good and some bad--you will need to repeat this meditation several times before discovering your deepest desire.

Slow down your breathing, until it is gentle, smooth, and soft. Let go of any tension in your body by relaxing your jaw, your shoulders, your fingertips, even your toes. Continue until you feel light, fresh, and free.

Read the following Scripture verse slowly, savoring each word:

O God, you are my God,
     and I long for you.
My whole being desires you;
     like a dry, worn-out, and waterless land,
     my soul is thirsty for you. (Psalm 63:1)

Begin by asking yourself: What is my deepest desire?

Sit with this question for a while. Allow any answers that do come up up to float way. Do not judge these desires. Take note of them, welcome them, and let them go. After several moments, you may notice a single, recurring desire.

Take this desire and ask yourself: How will this lead me to love?

If the answer to this question is not clear--or if you realize that it does not lead you to love--return to the original question: What is my deepest desire?

Imagine obtaining the object of this deepest desire. What emotions do you notice? Upon obtaining this desire, do you feel whole, complete, and joyful? Are you left unsatisfied and hungry for more? If you feel unsatisfied, go back and start with the original question: What is my deepest desire?

You may not have an answer to this question within a single meditation; that is OK. Asking the question is often more important than finding an answer. Take up this meditation another time and begin again.

Close with this prayer or with one of your own: Lord, I long for you. Amen.