a)    Your intentions regarding your estate weren't made clear, resulting in the potential for costly, time-consuming conflict.

 

b)    Your family did not understand or share your wealth management vision, resulting in the possibility of asset dissipation.

The good news is both of these issues can be prevented through honest communication with your family now. While it's not necessarily comfortable to broach this topic, a family gathering during a holiday period might be the best time to have a conversation with your children and loved ones about your estate plan.

Why it's important to talk to your family

Passing along our wealth is one thing, but what about passing along the values of work ethic and generosity that enabled us to acquire and grow that wealth in the first place? Too many fortunes built by one generation are lost by the next, not due to bad luck or the IRS, but due to a lack of understanding of wealth management and preservation. Also, when your family doesn't appreciate the rationale behind your estate planning choices such as the use of lifetime trusts, this lack of understanding can lead to conflict and resentment among family members. In a worst case scenario, your heirs end up suing one another. No one relishes the idea of a family being torn apart over antiques, heirlooms, or who gets the house at the beach. Nevertheless, it happens far more often than anyone cares to admit.

Should you tell your children about their inheritance?

The question of whether to tell the children about their inheritance is the subject of ongoing debate. Many people express concern that this information might reduce a child's work ethic or make children feel otherwise entitled, killing their motivation to seek a career and a "normal" life. Depending on the child's temperament, this might be a legitimate point. On the other hand, inexperience and lack of understanding about wealth can result in a quickly lost inheritance, only because your heir didn't know what to do.

The best path for most of us is a "happy medium," sharing your plan in general terms with your heirs, without necessarily telling them the dollar values. You might even entrust some heirs with some responsibility for investment and entrepreneurial opportunities now, before they inherit anything. This way, they begin to share your guiding values, and they are therefore better prepared to handle, manage and even grow their inheritance when they ultimately receive it.