~Tom Stern

Say a husband and wife in Stockton save up for two years to take their NBA-obsessed son to see LeBron James play the Warriors in Oakland. LeBron is called for three fouls in the first five minutes, and his coach benches him until the third quarter.

King James comes back in and quickly draws two more fouls. Back to the bench he goes. The game is a blowout, so he never plays another minute. The kid from Stockton cries himself to sleep that night.

It doesn't have to be this way. Instead of expulsion after six fouls, here is an alternative that is practical, sensible and exciting for the fans.

After drawing that sixth foul, the player must run five laps around the perimeter of the basketball court. His team plays short-handed while he is so occupied. Every foul he draws subsequently adds five more laps to the penalty. This means that a player who draws eight fouls must run 15 laps if his coach needs him to stay in the game.

To add to the drama, the opposing team gets to mobilize its Six-Plusser Squad, a two-person crew consisting of a cheerleader and the team mascot. Their job is to impede the penalized player's progress by running alongside , haranguing and harassing the athlete with fiendishly ingenious taunts. (Physical contact is strictly forbidden. An additional referee, on roller skates, makes sure that things proceed in an orderly manner.)

These tactics give the opposition a decided advantage by delaying, distracting and demoralizing the opposing player. When he re-enters the contest, he will be physically and mentally worn down. Coaches will face an acute dilemma: should they risk subjecting one of their superstars to a psychological beat-down or send in a fresh reserve?

Think of the excitement. Think of the controversy. Think of the animated debates at the sports bars the next day. ("The coach should have taken LeBron out. He wasn't the same after Amber and 'Hoopsie' got through with him.") This is a win-win-win for the sport, the NBA and the fans. We can see no downside.

You may have noticed that the New York Knicks just signed Derek Fisher to a five-year, $25 million contract as head coach.

That high salary reminds me of the time Knicks fans and the media were in an uproar over the team's high payroll and season-ticket holders feared the team would gouge them on tickets the next season.

After all, the Knicks in that 1973-74 season, with six future Hall of Famers on their roster and a future Hall of Fame head coach, made history with their payroll. It was the first time ever that 12 players collectively earned $2 million!

No team ever paid its players $2 million in one season, but the pressure was on. The Knicks had just won their second NBA championship in three years. The large local and national news media in New York City treated the Knicks as heroes and it was a veteran roster with players who earned as little as $15,000 as a rookie. Now, at the peak of their careers, they asked for more.

Gate receipts, licensing fees and all-important television revenue were tiny in 1973-74. Now those sources of income are phenomenal. Season-ticket holders can now rightfully say prices are too high.

Ironically, a low-paid reserve forward on that Knicks roster named Phil Jackson, who backed up future Hall of Famers Dave DeBusschere, Bill Bradley and Jerry Lucas, just signed on as president of the New York Knicks in a five-year, $60 million deal.

But who's counting? If Jackson and Fisher can earn a championship within the next five years in the Big Apple, the first for the Knicks since 1973, who will complain?