Dear Friends,

We are about to enter a very important spiritual season. If we make the Yamim Noraim a serious opportunity to assess our behavior, and use that assessment to make real change, the message of teshuvah (repentance) and renewal can have a powerful effect on our future. The stark honesty which is required is not easy. It means we need to be very self-aware and vulnerable. 

Let us ask ourselves the following questions. “Did we live up to our own values and standards? Do we measure up to the values and standards that Judaism teaches us?“

On Yom Kippur we will recite the Viddui (Confession). It is a litany of sins each beginning with the words Al Chet Shechetanu (for the sin we have sinned ). It often seems impersonal because most of the sins we confess do not seem to apply to us. This year as part of our preparation, I recommend that each of us create a personal Al Chet. It has the potential to a remarkably powerful instrument for each of us to assess our own past behavior and to begin a process of teshuvah.

Such an exercise can be a particularly important key to mend or improve our relationships with family, friends, fellow congregants or business associates. Attempting to mend relationships means taking the risk of rejection and disappointment. It is the time to ask, what did I do to cause offense, hurt, or damage to another person? If we are able to identify the real causes of the strain or rupture and are able to take full responsibility for what we have done, then we will have taken the first step in the difficult task of teshuvah. Heartfelt apologies which are specific and sincere, often restore trust, love, and friendship. The liturgy on the Yamim Noraim encourages such reflection and action. The recitation of liturgy, if approached with the intent to repair broken relationships, can give us the strength and courage to do this hard spiritual work. When I have made a real effort and taken the risk, I have found openness and generosity from those I have harmed, offended or disappointed. There have also been moments of disappoint and rejection as well, but when I fail even to try, the hurt I have caused continues to weigh on me unabated. Each of us can find reasons and excuses not to make the effort, but each year we are called upon again to summon up the courage and to make the effort. That is the greatness of our tradition. It believes that we can change, that we can do better, and we can make our lives and other people’s lives better.

I hope and pray if I have hurt or offend you that I will have the insight and strength to do teshuvah, and that if I do teshuvah you will forgive me. I wish each of you a significant Yamim Noraim and a good and sweet 5778.

Rabbi Peter Knobel