Editor's Note: Since the great majority of SoulCollage® participants are women, one might say that men are underserved by this particular self-awareness approach - direct, concrete, free-ranging, and to the point though it is. Now and then this newsletter features men's personal experiences with SoulCollage®. Here are two more for your enjoyment.
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Vulnerability(Community/Council Suit),
by Clyde Sanda
I Am One Who feels very vulnerable at times. I Am One Who goes into my shell to feel safe, where I can hide from my fears and shame. I Am One Who can also find courage, strength, and acceptance through my vulnerability.
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Clyde Sanda writes:
I became a SoulCollage® Facilitator in November, 2016. As the only male in a group of twelve new Facilitator trainees, I would like to thank my Trainer Kat Kirby along with the rest of my fellow trainees. It was an absolutely wonderful experience and I was never made to feel uncomfortable. And I sincerely hope I didn't make any of the women feel uncomfortable. I also hope that my male energy actually created some positive energy for the group.
Now retired from my career as a hospice chaplain, I have facilitated 32 SoulCollage® workshops, several focused on grief and loss. The best one was a Unity Church Men's Retreat with 13 men. I think that was among the first intentional men's SoulCollage® groups. I've just been approved by one of the local hospice foundations to facilitate a monthly grief support group using SoulCollage® - the nice part is, the hospice pays me, so it's free to the community.
As a man I tend to be very left-brained and analytical. SoulCollage® allows me to access my right brain. Being with a group of women gave me permission to access my feminine side also. Both of these are necessary for me to find balance in my life.
I find that when I really focus on the images, my mind goes in a different direction. It reminds me of looking at a beautiful sunset. I don't analyze the scientific reasons for the sunset, I just enjoy the beauty created by our Universe and appreciate being in this place, at this moment, to be a part of this experience. To me, that is the difference between my masculine and feminine sides. I truly enjoy hanging out with the feminine.
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Cleo (Community Suit),
by Clyde Sanda
I Am One Who was your baby sister. I was ten years younger than you, and even though I always loved you, we didn't always get along. I shared a bedroom with you when I was a baby. I would wake you up calling "Cyde, Cyde" because I couldn't say your name. I Am One Who woke you up one morning covered in my own poop. I remember you picking me up by my little wrists and carrying me into our parents' bedroom. You set me on top of them and said, "Your daughter pooped on everything." Then you stormed out of the house. You didn't come home until late. We both had our own rooms soon after that. I Am One Who died too young in an unnecessary boating accident. I miss you, brother.
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Perhaps the best example of this is the card I did for my youngest of three sisters, who died suddenly four years ago in Italy. She was ten years younger
than me so we were never close. She was actually more of a nuisance than anything else.
I made this card using several old photos. When I looked at the finished card, I felt very sad, like there was a hole in my heart. I had never cried for my sister. But when I wrote the
I Am One Who..., tears started flowing. (My eyes are tearing as I'm writing this and looking at her card.) I felt, and feel, a sadness and loss that I had never acknowledged before. I also feel a love that is much stronger than I thought I had for her, along with a strong longing to reconnect with her.
If not for SoulCollage®, I doubt I would have had this insight. My masculine side told me that although I was not happy about it, I had accepted her death and was coping with it. After all, I was a hospice chaplain and dealt with death all the time. But my feminine side said that I still had very deep feelings of sadness and grief. I now know I still have a lot of soul work to do around my sister, but my heart is much more open and honest. And for that insight, I am very grateful.
Clyde Sanda is an Interfaith Minister who recently retired as a hospice chaplain. He has been a SoulCollage® Facilitator since November 2016. He divides his time between Oregon and Florida and focuses his workshops on grief and loss. He enjoys working with seniors and facilitates many of his workshops in assisted-living facilities. He also enjoys working with dementia residents.
Richard Boubelik writes:
I had not heard of SoulCollage® before I met my girlfriend, who's been doing SoulCollage® for quite a while. Her enthusiasm for it made me want to try it. When I first attended a workshop, I heard the cards say things that had the ring of truth, speaking in a direct and unvarnished way. The wisdom coming from the cards felt surprisingly authentic. I remember feeling, "Wow, that's true," in response to several insights that emerged. These were the type of insights that I always suspected were true, but when I saw the cards sitting on the table, and the wisdom coming from them-well, it felt indisputable.
I find SoulCollage® to be a relatively easy, uncomplicated way to approach issues that I'm working on. There's not a lot of figuring out or thinking deeply about a problem-the truths just unfurl.
I've also enjoyed the artistic process of putting these cards together. It's creative, fun, and unpredictable-I've never had a plan in making them. And they always turn out intriguing and often beautiful; the beautiful ones may have even more direct power in communicating to me.
For me, it's a combination of the images and the message. One of my cards, for instance, shows a desert landscape with a big hill in the background. It made me want to put on hiking shoes and hike across that desert and walk up that hill. That activity felt like a very attractive thing to do-a real call to action then and there.
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Beckons, by Richard Boubelik
I Am One Who invites you to go climb that mountain, to walk across this desert, because the walk itself is interesting. Set aside a day and have a good time.
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I asked the card about a core issue that I wrestle with. Sometimes when I want to take some action, I talk myself out of it. I get wrapped up in all the shoulds and shouldn'ts and I try to over-analyze it. "What's the very best way of approaching this issue?" - trying to optimize a minefield of shoulds and shouldn'ts. That's hard to do!
The card's approach was simple. It suggested that I could re-cast any issue I'm wrestling with in the way the card did-"Just start walking up that hill":
As you go on this day's journey, pay attention to your body, and see how the journey makes you feel. Does feeling the physicality of the journey, even if the 'journey' is sitting at your desk working, make a difference in how you feel about your activity?
I have found that when I sense the physicality of my experience, time seems to slow down, and my stress level decreases. Things that seemed difficult before tend to feel at least a little bit easier - sometimes much easier. It's quite an eye-opener. Ultimately, I find SoulCollage® to be a non-intellectual, non-cerebral approach, which for me is great. Using my intuition turns out to be very refreshing.
Richard Boubelik, MBA has a background in commercial real estate and management consulting. A guitarist and songwriter, he is has made a business out of his musical interests by dealing in rare electric guitars, and sells to musicians and collectors around the world. He is a student of the Ridhwan® School for Spiritual Development in Berkeley, CA.
