Best experience at Grace? I didn’t have to think twice about it -- hands down it was the day I was married in September 2013.
Just prior to moving to Chattanooga in the early 00’s, Rich and I lived together in Atlanta and attended a Unitarian Universalist church that taught the value of many faith traditions including Christianity, Judaism, Buddhism, Secular Humanism, etc. After a long time away from church, the UU group let me dip my toes back into organized religion and was the first religious institution that had ever welcomed me as a gay person. Even more than just tolerance, they celebrated diversity, had a rainbow flag on the wall, and marched in Atlanta’s Gay Pride events. We got a little over committed and with moving here, we were both ready for a break and fell out of regular religious participation.
Sometime later, Amanda Cate moved into the house next door and I like to say we adopted each other and developed other neighborhood friends who attended Grace. Before starting, Amanda urged us to meet with the Rector to discuss our concerns about potentially fitting into a mainstream Protestant church after our last church which had almost no dogma. We met with Susan. She listened to our concerns, asked questions about our background, and was patient in giving us the nutshell version of Episcopalism 101. Then we started attending church, completed the Inquirers’ Class, and were later confirmed. Fast forward a few years, and one morning we were sitting in the Undercroft in a congregational meeting debating if our congregation would offer a blessing to same sex unions. Frankly, even having such a public discussion was alien to me. Growing up in a Baptist Church there would be no discussion; being gay was one of the whoppers! On the sin scale, it was way worse than stealing, worse than being drunk, worse than adultery. Being gay was an abomination to God, I was told, and my shame was deeply internalized.
After the Undercroft discussion, the Grace congregation affirmed that it wanted to offer blessings for the unions of same sex couples who so desired. By that time in my history of attending Grace, I was not surprised as people of Grace had already demonstrated to me time and time again how welcoming they were, but still, I was still very proud of Grace’s stand.
When Rich and I decided we wanted to get married, we both knew we desired an open commitment service/blessing with our family and friends. Later, we would travel out of state to do the legal stuff (at the time it was still not legal for us to wed in TN).
One of the marvelous things about our wedding was that at the last minute we decided not to have just a few family representatives stand up as our witness but to include all members present to participate in that function. At the appointed time, all stood and surrounded us. I was in a church (under a huge cross) with the man I loved. He was saying he would forever love and support me; our families were there in loving support, and in addition, the congregation was affirming in loud "I wills" how they would do all in their power to hold us up as a couple in love and support (and they meant it!). In that moment I just broke, I could barely talk and answer what was being asked of me. First and foremost, I was there because of Rich, but it was also because of Grace. All the terrible teaching and misinterpretation I had been given by seemingly well-meaning ministers; the child hood bullying, and all the self-loathing just melted away. I was being held up and sustained by my partner, family, and by all the members of Grace and blessed in the eyes of God. Even now, I start to get emotional just thinking of that day.
Thank you Grace, for your love, community, teachings, and bringing me closer to the grace of God, what more could I ask for.
