Choices

Our youngest daughter, Julea Gulbrandson, told me a rather poignant story about her husband, Steve. Julea is a stay-at-home mom.  They have three children.

Steve made the comment that he did not mind working his whole life to take care of and provide for his family.  He said the only thing he would really like to have is a nice car for work.

Steve spends a large portion of his time traveling around the state of Oregon as a representative for the Converse Athletic company.  Since comfortable transportation is important to Steve, Julea makes sure they plan their budget around the purchase, every few years, of a VW Jetta which is Steve's "nice car of choice."

When two people love each other and are committed to the well-being of their marriage, they will make allowances to provide the expressed desire of their mate.  They will change and compromise to help the relationship.

The Bible teaches in 2 Timothy 2:15: "Study to show thyself approved unto God, a workman that needs not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth."

It is important that we spend time to study what pleases God.  We need to also spend time to understand what we can do to build up and nurture our mates.  We need to know what pleases and is important to them.

The great question is not, "Do I want to change to produce greater closeness and compatibility?" but rather, "Where do I get the power to make my marriage work long term?"

The answer to that is the Lord Jesus is fully capable to bring about changes in our lives to accomplish His purpose and plans for us.  Unfortunately, at times the desire to change is an 80/20 proposition.  One mate may be less willing than another to cooperate to make the necessary adjustments to achieve a more compatible relationship.

Let me warn the one who is selfish and unwilling to sacrifice or compromise.  When your mate loses heart and gives up on the idea that you "will ever change," then, my friend, you are in "a world of hurt."  Your desperate plea to a counselor to "save your marriage" may come too late.

It takes two to make a marriage successful.  Do your part and a lot more.  Your marriage is worth it.

Your marriage and your walk with Jesus Christ have the same enemies: the world, the flesh and the devil.

Be courageous and determined as you fight for your marriage and against these spiritual enemies.  You are not able to overcome them in your own strength but you are certain to have the victory through "the strength of the One who indwells you."  Seek the help of the One who is greater and mightier than they who are against you.